A tragic accident in a High School baseball game that sent a pitcher into a coma after being hit in the head from a batted ball has created quite a stir against the use of aluminum bats. The school and its opponent have agreed to use wooden bats in their next game.

The use of aluminum bats in high schools and colleges has always bothered me. Major League Baseball does not allow aluminum bats and only uses wooden bats. However, high schools and colleges all across the land use this deadly weapon all because of economical reasons. T-Ball and Little Leagues also use these thunder sticks.  I’m sorry, you cannot put a price on our children’s safety! Yes, wood costs more and does not last as long, but I say so what! I hope this will lead to the end once and for all for aluminum bats.

Besides being safer to use, wooden bats would also better prepare youngsters for minor league and major league play which only uses wooden bats. Having played with both types of bats I can tell you it makes a tremendous difference in hitting. It also changes the way you field the ball because of the incredible speed of the ball coming off the metal bat.

Here’s a short video about the horrific accident that might actually help change a decades long travesty. As fathers, I highly recommend that you insist that your children’s baseball team not use aluminum bats anymore and only use wooden bats. Even if it means you have to buy your own, I would do it. Talk to your coaches and other dads and let’s continue this important movement before another one of our children is hurt. It’s not a question of if but when it happens again.

Words are powerful. Words spoken by a parent to a child are very powerful and often can carry far more weight and impact than we realize, so as parents we should choose our words carefully.  With that in mind, here are:

5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Kids

1) F#&*! – You need only watch prime time TV to understand that our standards of what words are acceptable on television have been substantially reduced over the years.  George Carlin’s (R.I.P.) infamous “Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television” are all practically standard fare on Cable TV and at least two or three of them have crept their way into acceptability in broadcast TV.  Despite what we watch and how we may speak amongst adult friends and co-workers, we should never use such language when talking with our kids, no matter what their age.  There are times when I enjoy cursing like a drunken sailor, and even times when it is sort of appropriate (amongst adults), but if I use those words with my kids, I am sending them all sorts of wrong signals.  Yes, they are aware of and use “the F word” and other expletives, but it is different when they hear it in a conversation with mom or dad.  This is one case where I think a “double standard” is for the best.

2) “Shut Up!” – I worked as a Camp Counselor for many years at Camp Winadu in Pittsfield Mass, and one of the great policies they had was that we were not allowed to say “Shut Up” to the campers and we were instructed to treat it as a “dirty word.”  We shared that with the kids in our charge and discouraged them from using the phrase as well. I have tried to carry that rule with me as a parent as I agree with the wisdom of Winadu that “shut up” is insensitive and inappropriate.  There should never be a situation where not allowing someone to say something is an option.

3) “…or else…” - How many times have you said to one of your kids, “You’d better not do that… or else!” ???  How many times have you said that knowing full well that in fact there was no “or else” in the cards.  I am definitely guilty of that one.  But why bother tagging a declaration to your kids with an idle threat?  Isn’t it better to just say, “Don’t do that.”  Period.  They should know why, and they should respect what we say without the dangling threat of “or else…”  It is silly.  They know as well as we do that the odds of there really being an “or else” are pretty thin.  Say no to “or else”… or else!

4) YELLING AND SCREAMING – This is another one I have certainly been guilty of on occasion.  Parents are human and we can lose our cool too.  When we do, it is easy to yell at our kids.  However, rarely does screaming improve whatever situation you are frustrated about, and it certainly doesn’t give our kids the sense that we are the adult and in control.  Plus, doesn’t it feel silly afterwards?  I try hard not to let myself yell and scream at my kids.

5) Lying - Honesty and trust are of paramount importance in any relationship.  Honesty and trust are essential traits for a happy and successful life, which is what every parent wants for their children.  You can’t teach your kids the value and importance of honesty and trust if they catch you in a lie.  Pulling the wool over your kids eyes will only blind them to the importance of telling the truth – always.  George Washington had the right idea when he said “I cannot tell a lie…”  We shouldn’t either.

What do you think?  Do you agree with the 5 things above?  Are these things you should avoid saying to your kids? Are there other things you would add to this list. Let’s continue the conversation in the comments!

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

Photo Credit: © paxi – Fotolia.com

Day 94 - HNT Massage by lintmachine, on Flickr

It’s a rough life. You need to relax. Massage therapy turns out to be the perfect thing. Now how do you explain it to the children before they overhear about it, talk to their friends, and think you’re doing something dirty.

Farfetched? No. My own late teens son didn’t understand what massage therapy was. My wife and I  had to walk him through the concept.

How can you present massage therapy to your children?

• Massage therapy is …
  • a therapist massaging muscles and tissue
  • involves touching legs, arms, back, and neck
  • is not done in secret
  • is normal therapy
• Massage therapy involves removing some clothing.
  • at no time is the body fully uncovered, just one limb at a time or only the back
  • the person receiving the massage can remain fully dressed
  • you keep your undies on <- important for children!!
• Massage therapy benefits by …
  • improving circulation
  • relieving stress
  • preventing headaches
  • aiding in recovery from illness and injury
• Massage therapy isn’t about sex.
  • it’s about healing
  • it’s about dealing with stress
  • it’s to reduce tension in the body

Now these talking points aren’t comprehensive. They’re a guideline to get you started. I’ve been getting massages for a couple of years now. It started with a coworker recommending them. Yes, another adult male, with a child.

It’s easy for people to take this down the sexual route and make jokes. It’s critical that in your conversation with and without your children that you steer clear of that.  What you say in private often ends up at your kids ears.

Finally, not only talk with your children, but make sure to include your partner. It should be clear that the whole family is on board. Trust is key.

I hope you take a few minutes to not only consider massage therapy but if you do, consider discussing it openly with your children.

Todd Jordan is a father and grandfather. He regularly blogs at The Broad Brush on social media and things more personal. Todd is available for guest blogging and more at tojosan-at-gmail.com.

No, this is not a show about Tony Danza and Alyssa Milano, but in this week’s Cast of Dads podcast we do start off discussing who plays the role of chief disciplinarian in each of our homes.  And of course, what would a show about discipline be without a healthy peek at punishment.  From “dunce caps” to spanking to a good old “guilt trip,” us dueling dads tackle tough love and more in this week’s talk.

Topics discussed in this episode include:

• Who is the softy in the house?
• Who is the enforcer?
• When siblings begin helping with the parenting
• Teaching to respect adults balanced with not trusting strangers
• Friends known as “aunts” & “uncles”
• Naughty Steps, Dunce Caps and time out
• Losing control and raised voices
• Extreme discipline
• To Spank or not to Spank?

You can listen to Cast of Dads Episode 12 here.

If you have been enjoying the Cast of Dads, please tell your friends about the show and have them subscribe to either our direct feed or via iTunes.  Also, please leave us a review in iTunes!

Cast of Dads is a group of podcasting and blogging dads who gather to gab about fatherhood.  The cast of dads includes C.C. Chapman, Jeffrey Sass, Max Kalehoff, Michael Sheehan, and Brad Powell, who collectively represent 13 kids from the youngest of babies to full grown adults. Each of them brings a unique perspective to being a father.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes!and Social Networking Rehab.

Next. Next. Next. Whoa! NEXT! Next. Hey now! Next. Next. Next…  If you have been clicking on “next” a lot lately, perhaps it is because you have been one of the millions of Internet users checking out the latest on-line fetish fad, Chatroulette.  If you live in a cave and haven’t yet heard of Chatroulette Jon Stewart gives a nice introduction here.  In essence, as the name quite literally states, Chatroulette is an anonymous video chat randomizer, allowing anyone with a webcam and Internet connection to essentially go speed dating through the motley morass that is humanity (at least the part of humanity that in 2010 feels compelled to test their inner voyeur, inner exhibitionist, or both!)  As with any new technology Chatroulette attracts pornography like a giant science lab magnet attracts iron dust, so be forewarned (and warn your Internet browsing children), Chatroulette is most definitely NSFW (not safe for work, or a home with kids for that matter).  Which is why we need, Dadroulette!

Dadroulette: Spinning Through Your Kids’ Lives?

Consider this post as an open request to the slick young Russian dude who created ChatRoulette to re-purpose his code for a good cause and please create Dadroulette.  Dadroulette would let us dads log on and “next” our way through the webcams of only our children, wherever they may be.  Sequestered in their bedrooms, in the computer lab at school, or at a friend’s house, wherever our kids are, Dadroulette would let us click through and be right there with them to check in and say hello.  I mean, if schools in Pennsylvania can do it, why can’t Dads everywhere?  Think how happy our kids will be to know that dear old dad loves them so much he wants to randomly pop up in their webcam while they are in their bedrooms and dorm rooms. Think how happy us dads will be to toss out any semblance of trust and responsibility and poke our pointy parental noses into the private lives of our progeny?  Awesome, right?  NOT!

Good Gimmick, Bad Idea

I hacked into the Chatroulette code and did a little test of my Dadroulette concept.  As the screengrab in this post documents, I came across my son in his apartment at college and my oh my, I found him hanging out with his roommates and one of them had, oh my gosh, A BEER!  I wanted to say hello and give him a fatherly lecture about responsible drinking but before I could finish unwrinkling my furrowed brow he went ahead and clicked “next”, sending me off to my daughter’s webcam, where I was equally shocked to find her doing her homework.  She looked up, gave me an exasperated, “Daaaad!” and “nexted” me off to chat oblivion.

The Real Roulette

Clearly, my satirical game of Dadroulette would in practice be a very bad idea.  However, I hope it helps illustrate a bigger point that we have written about before.  The Internet IS a game of Russian Roulette, especially for our kids.  At any given moment an on-line session can turn sour, exposing us to bad viruses and bad people.  Our digital trails do indeed go on our “permanent record” and can become a bullet in the chamber, shooting us in the foot when discovered by friends, family or employers.  From Chatroulette to Facebook, we can’t stress enough to our kids how important it is to be careful, cautious and to use common sense when hanging out in our digital world.  Chatroulette may be another good excuse to have that conversation with your kids again.

In the end, Chatroulette can be at once fun, funny, daring, disgusting, deplorable and delightful.  Just like the Internet.  Next!

What do you think??? Let’s chat about it in the comments…

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.