Words are powerful. Words spoken by a parent to a child are very powerful and often can carry far more weight and impact than we realize, so as parents we should choose our words carefully.  With that in mind, here are:

5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Kids

1) F#&*! – You need only watch prime time TV to understand that our standards of what words are acceptable on television have been substantially reduced over the years.  George Carlin’s (R.I.P.) infamous “Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television” are all practically standard fare on Cable TV and at least two or three of them have crept their way into acceptability in broadcast TV.  Despite what we watch and how we may speak amongst adult friends and co-workers, we should never use such language when talking with our kids, no matter what their age.  There are times when I enjoy cursing like a drunken sailor, and even times when it is sort of appropriate (amongst adults), but if I use those words with my kids, I am sending them all sorts of wrong signals.  Yes, they are aware of and use “the F word” and other expletives, but it is different when they hear it in a conversation with mom or dad.  This is one case where I think a “double standard” is for the best.

2) “Shut Up!” – I worked as a Camp Counselor for many years at Camp Winadu in Pittsfield Mass, and one of the great policies they had was that we were not allowed to say “Shut Up” to the campers and we were instructed to treat it as a “dirty word.”  We shared that with the kids in our charge and discouraged them from using the phrase as well. I have tried to carry that rule with me as a parent as I agree with the wisdom of Winadu that “shut up” is insensitive and inappropriate.  There should never be a situation where not allowing someone to say something is an option.

3) “…or else…” - How many times have you said to one of your kids, “You’d better not do that… or else!” ???  How many times have you said that knowing full well that in fact there was no “or else” in the cards.  I am definitely guilty of that one.  But why bother tagging a declaration to your kids with an idle threat?  Isn’t it better to just say, “Don’t do that.”  Period.  They should know why, and they should respect what we say without the dangling threat of “or else…”  It is silly.  They know as well as we do that the odds of there really being an “or else” are pretty thin.  Say no to “or else”… or else!

4) YELLING AND SCREAMING – This is another one I have certainly been guilty of on occasion.  Parents are human and we can lose our cool too.  When we do, it is easy to yell at our kids.  However, rarely does screaming improve whatever situation you are frustrated about, and it certainly doesn’t give our kids the sense that we are the adult and in control.  Plus, doesn’t it feel silly afterwards?  I try hard not to let myself yell and scream at my kids.

5) Lying - Honesty and trust are of paramount importance in any relationship.  Honesty and trust are essential traits for a happy and successful life, which is what every parent wants for their children.  You can’t teach your kids the value and importance of honesty and trust if they catch you in a lie.  Pulling the wool over your kids eyes will only blind them to the importance of telling the truth – always.  George Washington had the right idea when he said “I cannot tell a lie…”  We shouldn’t either.

What do you think?  Do you agree with the 5 things above?  Are these things you should avoid saying to your kids? Are there other things you would add to this list. Let’s continue the conversation in the comments!

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

Photo Credit: © paxi – Fotolia.com

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No, this is not a show about Tony Danza and Alyssa Milano, but in this week’s Cast of Dads podcast we do start off discussing who plays the role of chief disciplinarian in each of our homes.  And of course, what would a show about discipline be without a healthy peek at punishment.  From “dunce caps” to spanking to a good old “guilt trip,” us dueling dads tackle tough love and more in this week’s talk.

Topics discussed in this episode include:

• Who is the softy in the house?
• Who is the enforcer?
• When siblings begin helping with the parenting
• Teaching to respect adults balanced with not trusting strangers
• Friends known as “aunts” & “uncles”
• Naughty Steps, Dunce Caps and time out
• Losing control and raised voices
• Extreme discipline
• To Spank or not to Spank?

You can listen to Cast of Dads Episode 12 here.

If you have been enjoying the Cast of Dads, please tell your friends about the show and have them subscribe to either our direct feed or via iTunes.  Also, please leave us a review in iTunes!

Cast of Dads is a group of podcasting and blogging dads who gather to gab about fatherhood.  The cast of dads includes C.C. Chapman, Jeffrey Sass, Max Kalehoff, Michael Sheehan, and Brad Powell, who collectively represent 13 kids from the youngest of babies to full grown adults. Each of them brings a unique perspective to being a father.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes!and Social Networking Rehab.

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Next. Next. Next. Whoa! NEXT! Next. Hey now! Next. Next. Next…  If you have been clicking on “next” a lot lately, perhaps it is because you have been one of the millions of Internet users checking out the latest on-line fetish fad, Chatroulette.  If you live in a cave and haven’t yet heard of Chatroulette Jon Stewart gives a nice introduction here.  In essence, as the name quite literally states, Chatroulette is an anonymous video chat randomizer, allowing anyone with a webcam and Internet connection to essentially go speed dating through the motley morass that is humanity (at least the part of humanity that in 2010 feels compelled to test their inner voyeur, inner exhibitionist, or both!)  As with any new technology Chatroulette attracts pornography like a giant science lab magnet attracts iron dust, so be forewarned (and warn your Internet browsing children), Chatroulette is most definitely NSFW (not safe for work, or a home with kids for that matter).  Which is why we need, Dadroulette!

Dadroulette: Spinning Through Your Kids’ Lives?

Consider this post as an open request to the slick young Russian dude who created ChatRoulette to re-purpose his code for a good cause and please create Dadroulette.  Dadroulette would let us dads log on and “next” our way through the webcams of only our children, wherever they may be.  Sequestered in their bedrooms, in the computer lab at school, or at a friend’s house, wherever our kids are, Dadroulette would let us click through and be right there with them to check in and say hello.  I mean, if schools in Pennsylvania can do it, why can’t Dads everywhere?  Think how happy our kids will be to know that dear old dad loves them so much he wants to randomly pop up in their webcam while they are in their bedrooms and dorm rooms. Think how happy us dads will be to toss out any semblance of trust and responsibility and poke our pointy parental noses into the private lives of our progeny?  Awesome, right?  NOT!

Good Gimmick, Bad Idea

I hacked into the Chatroulette code and did a little test of my Dadroulette concept.  As the screengrab in this post documents, I came across my son in his apartment at college and my oh my, I found him hanging out with his roommates and one of them had, oh my gosh, A BEER!  I wanted to say hello and give him a fatherly lecture about responsible drinking but before I could finish unwrinkling my furrowed brow he went ahead and clicked “next”, sending me off to my daughter’s webcam, where I was equally shocked to find her doing her homework.  She looked up, gave me an exasperated, “Daaaad!” and “nexted” me off to chat oblivion.

The Real Roulette

Clearly, my satirical game of Dadroulette would in practice be a very bad idea.  However, I hope it helps illustrate a bigger point that we have written about before.  The Internet IS a game of Russian Roulette, especially for our kids.  At any given moment an on-line session can turn sour, exposing us to bad viruses and bad people.  Our digital trails do indeed go on our “permanent record” and can become a bullet in the chamber, shooting us in the foot when discovered by friends, family or employers.  From Chatroulette to Facebook, we can’t stress enough to our kids how important it is to be careful, cautious and to use common sense when hanging out in our digital world.  Chatroulette may be another good excuse to have that conversation with your kids again.

In the end, Chatroulette can be at once fun, funny, daring, disgusting, deplorable and delightful.  Just like the Internet.  Next!

What do you think??? Let’s chat about it in the comments…

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

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As noted here, in this week’s episode of the Cast of Dads podcast we talk about how to be prepared for a natural disaster.  The topic was no surprise, since we recorded the show just hours after the earthquake in Chile was reported and while the world waited to see what coastal areas would be affected by the resultant tsunamis.  As usual for the Cast of Dads, we cover a lot of ground.  Living in an area frequented by hurricanes, this was a topic that hit close to home.  Speaking of hitting close to home, below is a picture I took outside my home after Hurricane Wilma…

Topics discussed on this episode:

• Emergency preparedness for families
• Earthquakes, wild fires, hurricanes, tornados & blizzards
• Planning vs. Reacting
• How does your school notify you about emergencies?
• Steve Garfield’s French Toast Level Alert
• The Media fueling panic with weather
• How to deal with kids while going through a weather event
• Technology solutions for disasters
• Generators, Crank Up Radios & Battery Backups
• Drobo
• Getting rid of land lines
• 911 Locations
• What is in your car trunk?
• Growing up on a sailboat
• Remaining calm around the kids
• Fear of kids in cars
• I Saw Your Nanny
• Nanny Cams
• Finding your 13 year old driving
• Fire Alarms & Smoke Detectors
• The possibility of an upcoming “Mime Episode”

You can listen to Episode 11 here.

If you enjoy listening to Cast of Dads, pleased don’t forget to tell your friends about the show and have them subscribe to either our direct feed or via iTunes. Also, please leave us a review in iTunes!

Cast of Dads is a group of podcasting and blogging dads who gather to gab about fatherhood.  The cast of dads includes C.C. Chapman, Jeffrey Sass, Max Kalehoff, Michael Sheehan, and Brad Powell, who collectively represent 13 kids from the youngest of babies to full grown adults. Each of them brings a unique perspective to being a father.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

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When I was a kid, there was a series of commercials for “Chiffon” margarine that had the tag line, “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature!”  Lately it seems that perhaps we must have been trying to fool her and now Mother Nature is seeking her revenge and proving her prowess with a daunting display of disasters.  Earthquakes, blizzards, hurricanes and tornadoes are just the tip of the melting iceberg.  What’s a mere mortal human being to do?  In all seriousness, the Boy Scouts had it right when they made their motto “Be Prepared.”  There are many things in life that we cannot prevent, and the sudden seeming wrath of Mother Nature is one of them.  But we can do our best to be prepared, and keep our families prepared for the unexpected “force majeure.”  Inspired by a recent recording of the Cast of Dads podcast, and my own experiences with Hurricanes living in Florida, here are…

5 Ways To Be Prepared When Mother Nature Roars:

1) Portable Power – An unfortunate side effect of many natural disasters is the loss of power.  When Hurricane Wilma struck my neighborhood, we were without electricity for almost 2 weeks.  You quickly learn how reliant we are on electricity.  Having multiple sources of portable power in your home is a must. Options include generators and lots of batteries.  There are many battery chargers that include USB or 12-Volt plugs so you can use them to charge your mobile phones and other devices.  The problem with batteries, however, is that they have to have a good charge to be worthwhile, and they lose their charge over time when idle.  Therefore it is important that “emergency” batteries are replaced with fresh ones periodically, and that battery charger devices are regularly plugged in to refresh their charging abilities.  It goes without saying that multiple flashlights are an essential need, and I have found that having a few self powered (wind or shake) flashlights really come in handy as the “battery” issue is no longer a worry.

2) Reliable Communications – While we all rely on our mobile phones for just about everything, there is a good chance you won’t be able to use your phone reliably after a natural disaster.  If the networks are not directly affected, there will be extraordinary high call traffic, making it hard to get a connection.  Try text messaging if you cannot get through for a voice call as you may be more successful with the data network.  Also, as you want to conserve battery life, you want to keep voice calls short and to the point.  Eventually, you may no longer have use of your phone if the battery dies and you’ve exhausted your charging options, so it is important to have other ways to get information and find out the status of the emergency.  I have found a wind-up (crank) emergency radio to be extremely useful.  They are inexpensive and functional.  I have one that has AM/FM/Shortwave Bands as well as a USB plug to charge other devices.  I have a second one that has dedicated weather radio bands, and a built-in flashlight.  Not only are these radios great for finding out the latest news and other reports when the power is out, but you also need to keep everyone relaxed and entertained, and a little background music from the radio goes a long way to give a semblance of normalcy to an awkward and quiet powerless home.

3) A Family Check In Procedure – Of course disaster can strike at any time and therefore it is possible that you and your family members may not be together when Mother Nature goes ballistic.  As parents, our greatest fears are when we are away from our children, so make sure you and all your kids (or their schools and caretakers if they are too young to do it themselves) know what the family emergency check in procedure is.  Assume that you may not be able to just call each other.  Therefore you should consider establishing a reliable relative or friend in a different State or part of the country that can be the point person.  Make sure all your family members know multiple ways to contact the point person – home/office/mobile phone, email, text message, social networks, etc. – and let everyone know that if they can’t reach you, the next thing they should do is contact the point person, and let them know their status.  Of course the point person can also reassure everyone about who they have already heard from.  Another good idea is to have an agreed upon meeting place away from your home in the event your home is inaccessible. (Note to self: refresh this program with my own kids!)

4) A Plan For The Pets – If you have pets they are part of the family, so a family emergency plan has to include your fine furry friends.  If you have multiple pets and multiple family members, you might assign each person a particular pet that they are responsible for watching over and/or evacuating in an emergency.  Have proper crates, carriers and leashes easily accessible and it is probably best to keep pets contained during the crisis, as they are every bit as frightened and concerned as you are.  When Hurricane Wilma struck, we kept our three dogs and cat contained in a bathroom, and while their howling added to our stress, we knew exactly where they were and that they were safe.

5) Food & Water – It is always a good idea to have an ample supply of water in the house.  Stick a case of bottled water in a closet or in the garage and forget about it.  If you have 5 gallon water bottles delivered, make sure your regular order is for a few bottles more than your family actually drinks so you always have a few “spare” full bottles.  A stock of canned goods seems like a good idea, but keep in mind that you may not have the ability to heat things or boil water.  Take a look in your pantry and cabinets and see what foods you have that are not perishable and are “ready to eat” without cooking or boiling water.  Stock up on more of those.  Peanut butter, dried fruits and nuts and power bars are all good things to have “extras” of at all times.

These are just a few of the basics and I am sure there are many more important tips for being prepared.  Please add your own tips and suggestions to the comments and together we can turn this post into a useful resource for parents and families.

Most importantly, especially for parents, do your best to remain calm and provide your children and family with the support, confidence and leadership they will most certainly need when Mother Nature strikes.

NOTES AND DISCLAIMER: Our thoughts and prayers continue to go out to those affected by the earthquakes in Haiti and now Chile.  If you are so inclined you can donate to the Red Cross here.  Also, some of the links to products in the above post are Amazon Affiliate Links.  Any affiliate revenue generated by the links in this post will be donated fully to the Red Cross.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes!and Social Networking Rehab.

Photo Credit: © victor zastol’skiy – Fotolia.com

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At the opening of this episode you will hear a promo for The Boom Effect, an auction and fund raiser for fellow dad and good friend Tee Morris who recently lost his wife.  Tee will be raising his little girl known as “Sonic Boom” on his own, and the Podcasting community has been very supportive with contributions and events such as this auction. The Cast of Dads encourages you to donate and help in any way you can to assist in making sure this little girl has what she needs as she grows up. Tee, our thoughts are with you!

This week the Cast of Dads faces off with Facebook as we talk about the challenges of raising kids in a digital world.  How old (or young) should kids be when they start using Facebook?  Does everything really end up on your “permanent record?”  These are just some of the things we cover in this episode:

• Kids getting on Facebook (Under 13 not allowed)
• COPA Law
• Oh Snap It’s Violet
• Should Facebook have more parental controls?
• Teaching children online values
• The Next Great Generation
• The digital trail we all leave online
• Social Media Guidelines
• Todd Defren’s “Team Before Tweet“
• The Don’t Be Stupid Rule (Olympic snowboarder pictures)
• Be Upfront
• Camera that captures your life
• School Laptop webcam privacy case
• Digital Nation
• Open conversations on mobile phones
• Candid Camera
• PleaseRobMe.com
• Blog Design – roll your own vs. hiring a designer
• The hotness that is the new Dad Labs
• Dadsourcing
• Our search for guests (e-mail us if interested)

You can listen to Episode 10 here.

If you have been enjoying the Cast of Dads podcast, please tell your friends about the show and have them subscribe to either our direct feed or via iTunes. Also, please leave us a review in iTunes!

Cast of Dads is a group of podcasting and blogging dads who gather to gab about fatherhood.  The cast of dads includes C.C. Chapman, Jeffrey Sass, Max Kalehoff, Michael Sheehan, and Brad Powell, who collectively represent 13 kids from the youngest of babies to full grown adults. Each of them brings a unique perspective to being a father.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes!and Social Networking Rehab.

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LIAR.  It is a four letter word that can be far more hurtful than other familiar expletives. This is especially true when the liar in question is someone you love dearly and completely.  As parents we spend our lives hoping to instill in our children a sense of truth, trust and responsibility.  We teach them right from wrong, good from bad, love from hate.  More than anything we want them to grow up to become good people, and good people don’t lie.  Good people are trustworthy.

Kids Will Be Kids, But Is That An Excuse?

This week one of my kids was caught in a lie, a bad one.  Granted it wasn’t something life threatening or irreparable, and some might argue that it it was the kind of thing that “kids do” (especially teenagers and young adults). I’d argue that the activities and behavior that were lied about may be “typical” of the age and times, but for me that does not excuse the lying.  For me, nothing excuses a breach of trust.  For me, losing that trust in my child was a very painful slap in the face.

It Is Broken, Now Fix It!

As a parent, it is relatively easy to devise ways to punish our kids for bad behavior.  From “time outs” to “grounding” to docking allowance and temporarily restricting various privileges we have an arsenal of punitive parental ploys at our disposal.  However, there is no punishment I am aware of that in and of itself will restore my faith and trust.  That is something only my child can do on their own behalf.  That is something my child will have to work hard at, over time, for trust is not something one can restore with a single action, like the wave of a magical wand.  Trust must be earned, and regaining lost trust is even harder than earning it in the first place.

Perhaps that is why lying, exposed, is so painful.

What do you think?  How important is your ability to trust the words of your children.  What are the best ways for a child to regain their parent’s trust?  I know that time is on my side, and in the end my unwavering love for my child will make it all ok in the long run, but right now it is not the truth that hurts, it is the lie.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes!and Social Networking Rehab.

Photo Credit: © Takus – Fotolia.com

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(NOTE: usually my posts here are written originally for Dad-o-matic.  That said, I recently wrote on my personal blog about Chef Jamie Oliver’s impassioned and impactful speech about childhood obesity at the recent TED conference.  I realize that Chef Oliver’s speech would likely be of great interest to the Dad-o-matic crowd, so with permission from myself, I am reposting it here.)

My infatuation with TED continues.  I have yet to watch a TED Talk that I haven’t found thought provoking and inspiring.  It is really some of the best content you can find, and it is free!  I have written before about Natasha Tsakos and Philippe Starck’s amazing presentations.  If you want a deeper understanding of the TED conference, Robert Scoble has written an insightful overview.  This year’s TED just took place and according to reports, one of the highlights was Celebrity Chef Jamie Oliver’s passionate talk on obesity in America.  He shares some shocking and revealing statistics about how our fast food nation is literally eating ourselves to death. As someone who can certainly afford to lose a few pounds I need only to look in the mirror and at many of the people I see day in and day out to recognize that Jamie speaks the truth, and how far we have lost our way when it comes to diet and food.  What do you think?  Do you and your family cook fresh food on a regular basis?  Do your kids know how to prepare a meal using “real” ingredients?  Are these basic skills our fast-paced, over processed society has left undone?  Food for thought…

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes!and Social Networking Rehab.

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The Cast of Dads gathered early on Valentine’s Day to catch up and compare notes on our romantic plans for the day.  Despite a few pregnant pauses as we contemplated Cupid, we managed to cover a wide range of topics, from our daughters dating, to the pleasures of power tools.  Here is a complete rundown of what is discussed in this week’s show Valentine’s Day show:

• Hanes #ComfortCrew Trip to Disney
• Chocolate Roses from Edible Arrangements
• The definition of “bridge and tunnel crew”
• Eating out on Valentine’s Day
• Our continued love of Modern Family
• Surf N’ Turn Tradition
• Baby Proofing Your Marriage
• Avoid a Valentine’s Massacre
• Not the Normal Valentine’s Day
• Nothing Says Happy Valentine Like Power Tools
• Kids copy you when it comes to love
• Evolution of the little heart candies
• Romantic Movies That Guys Can Watch
• Love Actually, The Ugly Truth, True Romance & Edward Scissorhands
• Application to Date My Daughter
• The “curse” of daughters

You can listen to Cast of Dads Episode 9 here.   You can also subscribe to either our direct feed or via iTunes.  Also, if you have been enjoying the show, please let your friends know and leave us a review in iTunes!  Thanks for listening!

Cast of Dads is a group of podcasting and blogging dads who gather to gab about fatherhood.  The cast of dads includes C.C. Chapman, Jeffrey Sass, Max Kalehoff, Michael Sheehan, and Brad Powell, who collectively represent 13 kids from the youngest of babies to full grown adults. Each of them brings a unique perspective to being a father.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes!and Social Networking Rehab.

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It is Valentine’s Day!  Time for everyone to get their heart on!  For us Dads it is one of those days (like birthdays, anniversaries, the day you and your significant other met, etc.) that is best not forgotten.  There are many ways to recognize the day and reveal your romantic side, and like most things in life, the best ways to show your love and appreciation and look more Cupid than stupid is to keep things simple and sincere.  With that in mind, here are…

5 Ways To Avoid A Valentine’s Day Massacre:

1. Flowers – Yes, a rose by any other name is still a rose, but giving a flower by any other name on Valentine’s Day ain’t gonna cut it.  Of course a dozen (or two) is best, but even a single long stem, elegantly and lovingly presented, goes a long way.  While roses come in a literal rainbow of colors these days, this is the one occasion when RED is a must.  Any roses are better than no roses, and in order of preference you can get your roses a) delivered, at a surprise location, by a florist, b) at your local supermarket, c) at a roadside stand, or d) cut, secretly, from the bush in your neighbor’s yard.

2. Phone – If by some chance you are not with your Sweet Valentine today, make sure you call her before she calls you (and if you haven’t already, stop reading this and do it now!). Make the call all about her, and how much you appreciate having her in your iife, etc. etc. etc.  This is the one day when you can’t get too sappy, Even if you are with your Valentine today, use the phone to reach out and touch the other women in your life.  Valentine’s Day is a great day to call moms, mothers-in-laws, sisters, daughters away from home, and tell them you love and appreciate them.

3. Food – It is no surprise that little cherub Cupid is on the pudgy side. From chocolates to breakfast in bed to dinner at a favorite restaurant, food is a wonderful way to nourish the heart on Valentine’s Day. For many guys, our preferred thing to make for dinner is a reservation, but as Digital Dad CC Chapman recommends, Valentine’s Day is also a great day to don the apron and actually cook for your better half.

4. Words – Cards are great, and they come in all shapes and sizes and now they even talk and play music, but don’t leave it to Hallmark to make a real impression on your Valentine.  Whether you are a Shakespeare or not, today is the day to put a few sentiments in your own words.  If you are adventurous, write a poem (Haiku is easy and elegant).  There is no such thing as bad original poetry, especially on Valentine’s Day.  Give it a shot, and whatever you choose to do, make sure your words are hand written!  Do not type and print them!

5. The other 364 Days of the year – And of course, the BEST way to avoid a Valentine’s Day massacre is to not let today be the only day of the year you behave this way!  Flowers, sweet phone calls, food and words are ways you can be expressing your love and appreciation all year long.   Sprinkle them unexpectedly into your routine to keep your Valentine smiling all year round.  Do that, and every day can be Valentine’s Day!

If you have some additional tips. please add them in the comments.  In any event, Happy Valentine’s Day!

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

Photo Credit: © AlienCat – Fotolia.com

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Despite the siren song of beer and wings calling in the distance, the Cast of Dads set aside time on Superbowl Sunday to record an episode: “Superbowl Sunday With The Cast of Dads.”  While the talk quickly turned to football, some of us – er, me – revealed we are I am not as up to date on my sports as I am on my gadgets.  (For example, it was only during the big game that I realized the Colts were no longer the “Baltimore Colts” of my childhood…)

Fortunately for me, football was not the only topic of discussion in the show.  Topics covered in this episode include:

• Superbowl and are we sports fans?
• Tequila
• Wives who love sports
• March Madness
• Sunday Night Jitters
• Oklahoma vs. Texas
• Young Cyrus lingerie line? (after the show it came out that it was false)
• Kids growing up too fast
• Teaching kids to read as babies
• Potty Humor
• An open invite to Kevin Smith to come on the show
• Mom stereotypes
• Swearing in front of kids
• Kids swearing
• Music Lyrics
• The Barbie Song
• Controlling what is watched on TV
• Age differences
• C.C. Chapman iPhone App
• HighTechDad iPhone App

You can listen to Cast of Dads Episode 8 here.   If you have been enjoying Cast of Dads, please tell your friends about the show and have them subscribe to either our direct feed or via iTunes.  Also, don’t be shy…  go ahead and please leave us a review in iTunes!

Cast of Dads is a group of podcasting and blogging dads who gather to gab about fatherhood.  The cast of dads includes C.C. Chapman, Jeffrey Sass, Max Kalehoff, Michael Sheehan, and Brad Powell, who collectively represent 13 kids from the youngest of babies to full grown adults. Each of them brings a unique perspective to being a father.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

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Many moons ago, when I was just a mere tike, when my Mom and Dad taught me to “share” they were mostly trying to get me not to explode in a hissy fit when my younger sister or one of my playmates wouldn’t let go of my Legos or give up my G.I. Joe. Life was so simple then… Toys and games were physical things we kids could touch and feel and pull apart and throw against the walls or step on to break. Today, in our increasingly digital world, “sharing” has taken on a meaning much larger than letting friends play with toys.

Images Can Shape Your Image

Today, even from a very young age, our kids have access to the tools to be creators, and to share their creations with their friends and beyond. There has been some good discussion here and here about the perils of sharing too much online. As a parent, there is much concern, and rightly so, about the nature of the images and information our kids are sharing in their digital playgrounds. The flipside, however, is to encourage our kids to share plentifully and appropriately.

The Age Of The Ubiquitous Camera

When I was a kid photography was a very special hobby that, for the most part, required expensive equipment and costly development and printing. Wasted images were wasted money, so a typical kid did not have the opportunity to dabble in “taking pictures” until they had saved up some of their allowance money and demonstrated a certain level of maturity and responsibility. Even the so-called “instant” and “disposable” cameras had developing costs and usage limitations that inherently made them not particularly kid friendly. In the days of film and rolls of 12, 24 or 36 “exposures” every image counted, and parents on a vacation budget couldn’t necessarily spare a few bad shots on the whims of a child photographer. These are entirely foreign concepts in today’s digital world, where even toddlers can play with (kid friendly) digital cameras; almost every mobile phone is also a camera; and thanks to inexpensive and readily available digital storage (including “the cloud”) the perceived cost of taking a picture is zero, and the amount of images, good or bad, that one can capture is virtually unlimited.

Sharing Is Creativity Unleashed

Our kids are growing up in a world where everyone and anyone can create and share in ways that were barely dreamed about a decade or so ago. As a parent, it is enlightening to see how effortlessly our kids have stepped into this world and how digital sharing is second nature to them. I was recently reminded of this when my older son, 21, had a picture he took of his truck published at an enthusiast and parts website, Edge Products.  As part of the Sony DigiDad Project I had a Sony A330 DLSR on loan for a few weeks. I let my kids use it as well and the first thing Zach did was run outside and take pictures of his truck (which, understanding the nature of the relationship between a guy and his wheels, didn’t surprise me at all). What did surprise me is that, without missing a beat, he assumed he would be able to share the pictures, and not just with his friends on his Facebook page.  He immediately started posting and emailing his pictures to Auto and Truck sites, and “pitched” his pictures to editors by email.  Why not?

No Magnets Or Refridgerators Required

As much as we may cherish the crayon scrawled drawings posted in our kitchens, today our kids’ creations can instantly and easily spread way beyond the refridgerator door.  They can be emailed to grandparents and posted to websites for all to see.  Today when we teach our kids to share, they are potentially sharing with the world.  There has been a lot of talk about the potential for negative outcomes from such open sharing, but what about the positive?  How exciting it is to live in a time where the tools for creating and publishing are so readily available to anyone, of any age.  Think of the power our kids have to spread their voice as compared to what we had at their age.

How does that change the way we teach our kids to share in a digital age?  Please share your thoughts in the comments!

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

Photo Credit: © Nikolai Sorokin – Fotolia.com

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This week the Cast of Dads took a step back from tech talk and focused our discussion on more fatherly pursuits, thanks to some feedback and suggestions from our listeners.  We appreciate getting your feedback on the show and if there are specific topics you would like for us to tackle let us know in the comments here or at Cast of Dads or please send us an e-mail.

As usual, we covered a lot of ground, and finally admitted that at one time or another, we were all morons!  In this episode:

• Accents and dialects
• JetBlue, Lego and Atlantis Resort’s JetAdventure (C.C.’s take)
• Kids exchanging e-mails
• Chuck E Cheese
• Zhu Zhu Pets
• Leave Britney Alone toys?
• Pleo
• Nintendo DS Dogz game
• Stand alone Atari 2600 controllers
• Bullying – physical and mental – boys vs. girls
• Martial Arts
• Cyber Bullying
• Being a friend to kids, but being a parent first
• We were all morons

You can listen to Cast of Dads Episode 7 here.  If you like what you hear, please tell your friends about the show and have them subscribe to either our direct feed or via iTunes.  Of course, we won’t complain if you also leave us a review in iTunes!  Thanks for tuning in!

Cast of Dads is a group of podcasting and blogging dads who gather to gab about fatherhood.  The cast of dads includes C.C. Chapman, Jeffrey Sass, Max Kalehoff, Michael Sheehan, and Brad Powell, who collectively represent 13 kids from the youngest of babies to full grown adults. Each of them brings a unique perspective to being a father.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

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An apple a day… gives the media lots to talk about.  This week both the tech news and so called “mainstream media” was all abuzz about the long rumored, finally revealed, “tablet” device from Steve Jobs and his team at Apple.  When all the dust settled, as expected, everyone’s attention turned to the “core” of the Apple iPad, and the heated comparisons and complaints began in force.  While many have compared and contrasted the iPad to the Amazon Kindle, other tablet PC’s and Netbooks, there is one comparison that I haven’t seen, and one that is most suited for Dad-O-Matic readers: The iPad vs. the iDad!

The iDad: Why EVERY Home Should Have One!

There is a readily available interactive device that beats the pants off the iPad (and it even wears pants!)  Yes, the iDad is the one device that every household with kids should have, and it has standard features that clearly put the iPad to shame, including cameras, multitasking, expandability, and even a significantly longer battery life.  Yes, the iDad is the groundbreaking computing device that is clearly well positioned to take a bite out of the Apple iPad’s potential market.

Here is a simple comparison:

Which does your household need more, an iPad or an iDad?

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

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Screaming, shrieking, whining, crying, banging, bumping, laughing, sneezing, coughing, belching. farting, yelling, slapping, hitting, pushing, shoving, snapping, breaking, kicking, throwing up, falling down, dancing, running, skipping, jumping, bouncing, trouncing, wrestling, fighting, snoring.  Never boring.  These are just some of the sounds and actions in a house full of kids, sounds you may find annoying or take for granted. Sounds that may make your blood boil and at times cause you to “lose it” and scream back the likes of “SHUT UP” or “BE QUIET” or “STOP IT RIGHT NOW” or any of a number of standard parental instinctive responses.

It is easy to let these sounds rile you up and annoy you, yet in reality you should laugh and smile and cherish every aggravating one of them because these sounds are the proof of life.  These noises are the soundtrack of being a parent, and the constant reminder that you are needed here and now.  Cherish them, because one day you will miss them, as I do right now.  It is a Sunday afternoon and the house is silent, save my own rustling about.  Where once, not too long ago, Sunday’s were full of many of the sounds above, with three siblings scrapping around, causing heartfelt havoc and demanding my attention, now the house is empty.  One is living in another State and the two who still live here are off at work, or with their friends, living their lives, needing me less.

The things I too often treated as annoying interruptions I now know were integral parts of the blessings of parenthood.

Noise is good….

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

Photo Credit: © antipathique – Fotolia.com

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No, we didn’t take to the road this week, but we did get our first e-mail question from a listener who happens to be a truck driver.  He goes by the handle of “Jokerman” and he wanted to know if the Cast of Dads could share our thoughts on MP3 players and eBook readers.  Well, needless to say, we did our best to answer Jokerman’s questions and then some.  ;-)

Here is what we talk about in Episode 6:

• Our thoughts and prayers go out to Haiti. Find out how to donate.
• MP3 Players
• Bug Labs
• Trapster iPhone App
• Trucker Tom Podcast and Finding American in HD
• CB Radios
• Motorola T505
• Parrot in Dash options
• iPods
• Microsoft Zune
• eReaders
• eWaste
• Google Nexus One (the Dads would all love to try one)
• iPhone Reading Experience
• Verizon MiFi
• Cradlepoint Technology
• Skype and Voice over IP (VoIP)
• All of our media to the cloud?
• Pandora
• Fidelity vs. Portability
• Slacker

You can listen to Episode 6 here, and subscribe to either our direct feed or via iTunes. Also, please leave us a review in iTunes!

And of course… Keep on Truckin’!

Cast of Dads is a group of podcasting and blogging dads who gather to gab about fatherhood.  The cast of dads includes C.C. Chapman, Jeffrey Sass, Max Kalehoff,Michael Sheehan, and Brad Powell, who collectively represent 13 kids from the youngest of babies to full grown adults. Each of them brings a unique perspective to being a father.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

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Sex… is not what this post is about.  No birds and bees here.  Instead I want to talk about the “other” conversation to have with your kids as they approach the age of puberty and start to become young adults.  That is the talk about privacy and managing with common sense the digital trails we deliberately and innocently leave behind in “cyberspace.”  For many parents this may be an even more challenging topic than the dreaded “sex talk.”  As parents, by definition we have generally had sex ourselves, and we were once teens, experiencing the hormonal surges and urges of the beginnings of our sexual lives.  Therefore, though it may give us the willies, we are more or less prepared and have relevant firsthand experience to shed wisdom and guidance on matters of sex.  On the other hand, as parents most of us did not grow up in the same digital world our kids now inhabit.  We did not grow up tempted with “sexting” from our mobile phones.  We did not grow up sharing our lives and loves online, with pictures, videos, and often revealing “status updates” on Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and YouTube.

You Are Your Resume

My oldest son will graduate college this year and enter the “full time” work force.  A few years ago, when he was looking for a part time job, I remember helping him with his resume, crafting the words in a traditional paper format.  You know the drill: Objective, Work Experience, Education, References, etc.  Now as he gets closer to really needing a resume it dawned on me that he needs to concern himself with much more than a classic Curriculum Vitae.  He needs to concern himself with his online resume, in particular, his Facebook resume.  So, we had “the talk.”  In this talk, the protection we discussed had nothing to do with prophylactics (although we DID once have THAT talk).  In this talk I told him to assume that for any job he might apply for, the employer would see everything on his Facebook page.  He should assume that his potential future employers would “Google” him, and take a close look at his digital life.  In some cases that may be more important to them than his old fashioned resume.  I told him that, like it or not, he had to use common sense and think about and filter anything and everything he posts online with the understanding that it may very well shape the impressions of the people who will help him launch his career.

Online Is The Real Vegas

The clever catchphrase of Las Vegas notwithstanding, what happens online does indeed stay online, and that is an important lesson for us to teach our kids.  They have to be made aware that “cyberspace” has a better memory than any elephant. Digital ink is more indelible than any Sharpie pen.  The silliness they may choose to share with their friends is more than likely going to be visible by family and employer alike.  Even if some networks and things are truly private, I think the best way for our kids to approach their online lifestream is to use protection and proceed with the assumption that anything and everything they choose to share is discoverable.

What do you think?  Have you had this talk with your kids?

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

Photo Credit: © ioannis kounadeas – Fotolia.com

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“It’s ten o’clock… do you know where your children are?”  In the days before mobile phones and text messaging, that was a line in a frequently broadcast Public Service Announcement.  Even in our connected world today, as parents we still DO want to know where our children are… all the time.  Now we have the advantage of calling or texting our kids (assuming they are of “phone age” – which is getting younger and younger by the year). I recently discovered another way we can use our smartphones to “check in” with our kids.

Geek Chic, And Fun For Parents Too

One of the companies rising in popularity amongst the tech crowd is Foursquare, a mobile social network that cleverly leverages location based information and gaming elements to keep friends in touch and make exploring the cities you live in and visit more fun.  Using the mobile web or an app for your iPhone, Android, or Palm WebOS phone, Foursquare makes it easy to “check in” at any location you are at.  When you check in, your location (and a short “shout out” message) is broadcast to your Foursquare friends in the same city (and, optionally, to your Twitter or Facebook account). In addition to knowing where all your friends are, as you “check in” to different venues and locations, you earn points and badges on your way to becoming the “Mayor” (person with the most visits) of a particular location.  I recently added my own twist to Foursquare by introducing my son Zach to the program.

It’s Ten O’Clock And I Do Know Where My Children Are

Zach has an iPhone so I encouraged him to get the Foursquare iPhone app and sign up for an account, which he did. Zach commutes to college and works most nights at a restaurant.  He has a very busy schedule and though we live in the same house we are rarely home at the same time.  I often call or text him “where are you?” just to check in and make sure I know that he is ok. Now, with both of us using Foursquare, I know when he has arrived at school and when he gets to work in the evening.  At the same time, he knows where I am, and Zach said he enjoyed following my movements and felt more connected than usual during my recent trip to Las Vegas for the CES show, as Foursquare let him virtually follow me around the convention.

Responsibility And Trust

Foursquare is not a tracking program, and if you are looking for a way to passively keep track of your kid’s movements, this is not the answer.  In order for your location to be broadcast to your friends with Foursquare you have to actively check in at each place you want to share.  It is completely opt-in and not automatic.  On the other hand, if your child has a smartphone and you are looking for a fun way to get them to let you know where they are, and build a sense of responsibility and trust along the way, playing Foursquare could be a lot of fun and functional.

What do you think?  Would you use a game like Foursquare to help stay in touch with your kids, or am I just an old geek?

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

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As one year winds down and another begins it is always a time to look back and look forward, to reflect on the year that has passed and to plan for the year ahead. 2009 was both a challenging and rewarding year as we battened down the hatches both at work and at home to weather the choppy seas of an unstable economy.  As parents it is especially challenging to manage the stresses of the real world and at the same time continue to provide our kids with a strong sense of safety and security.  After all, they will have plenty of time to worry on their own when they grow up.  Childhood is the rare time to truly experience the world and life as purely and as worry free as possible, and as parents it is a joy to do our part in providing such an environment for our kids.  2009 surely put us all to the test in that regard.

Look Ma, No Hands

For me, in my job as “dad,” 2009 was a remarkable year.  My oldest son turned 21, and my youngest, my daughter, turned 18, making 2009 the year all three of my kids technically were “adults” and the first year one of my children and I could legally share a celebratory glass of champagne on New Year’s Eve.  Despite being able to label my kids as adults, 2009 was also the year I recommitted myself to fatherhood by sharing my experiences here at Dad-O-Matic.  Yes, I began writing for Dad-O-Matic toward the end of 2008, but in 2009 I was with you here every single week, and as a result this blog, and the great community around it, became a very important part of my fatherhood routine.  Not only did I connect with so many of you through these posts, but Dad-O-Matic has provided me with the opportunity to connect and share with my kids in new ways, and to point new spotlights on them as I share our experiences with you. One of the highlights of 2009 for me was being a part of the Sony DigiDad Project and thus having the chance to create some memorable videos with my parents and my kids.  I also met some fantastic other dads which has led to a new project, the Cast of Dads podcast.

The Year Ahead

As remarkable as 2009 was, I already know that 2010 is going to be even better.  As the Dad-O-Matic and Cast of Dads communities continue to grow, along with other “dad” group blogs like Digital Dads and Dad Labs, 2010 may turn out to be the year of the Dad!  On a more personal note, 2010 will be the first year one of my sons will be living away from home, in another State, which has already left me in quite a state trying to adjust!  This year will also have me attending two significant graduations as my oldest son will finish college and my daughter will graduate High School.  These are the things I know about 2010, and I am even more excited about the things I don’t know are yet to come!

I Love You, Man!

As I look back and forward my reflection leads to affection.  The deep love and affection I feel for my kids… the affection I feel for you, for taking the time to read and comment and share… and the affection and appreciation I have for living in a time where all this and more is possible.  Thanks to being a Dad and the wonderful, life altering, life enriching experience of raising and guiding my children, and sharing a piece of that experience with you, I enter 2010 with more connections, more friends, and more optimism for the future than I have ever had before.  While there is still uncertainty and challenges ahead, I am blessed to have a loving family, a loving relationship, and a love and passion for everything I do. Not a bad way to start the year.

Thank YOU for listening and for being a part of my year, and best wishes for you and your families to have a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

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