Zachary loves National Geographic for Kids magazine

My eight-year-old son Zachary *could not* (according to him) remember all the punctuation rules he needed for an upcoming test.

I said, “Can you remember PCC BED?” I will give you a dime if you say “PCC BED” one hundred times.

He did.

I said, “When the test comes around, ask for a piece of scrap paper and write down ‘PCC BED.’”

P stands for punctuation always goes inside the quotation marks.

C is for capitalizing the first word in someone’s quote.

C is for “comma separates Zachary.” That is, when someone is addressing you, they have to stop and put a comma before and after your name unless it’s the beginning or end of a sentence.

B is book titles are capitalized and underlined.

E is for “entire names.” That is, the words Mr. Zachary Hage all start with capital letters.

D is for double sentences are tricks. (Think second-grade level questions; it made sense for him.)

It worked. He understood and passed with flying colors.

Got any homework and test-taking tricks to share?

Good luck from a fellow dad,
::Joe Hage::

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Back then I got straight A’s at school. Dermott sat behind me.

Dermott didn’t do his homework, tried drugs early, slept in class. I liked Dermott. He was one of the cool kids, always smiling. He accepted me, a nerd.

Deep down I thought I was on the “right path” and Dermott was on the “wrong path.”

Today, Dermott is one of the most successful businesspeople I know. He fell into Wall Street, got his own seat on the Exchange, has a beautiful wife of many years, and a rich family life.

Why am I telling you this?

My seven-year old is nervous about an aptitude test he’ll take on Saturday. It determines if he gets into the third grade “honors class.”

I told him about Dermott. Dermott didn’t “get started” until he was in high school. Dermott’s success was not contingent on his third-grade behavior.

“Zachary,” I said, “whether you get into the honors class or not will have virtually no impact on your lifetime success. Your success will depend on many things: Your interests, luck, who you meet in life, what you pursue.”

“You like to learn and we love you for that. You like to play soccer but you don’t score a goal every time. You don’t have to do ‘great’ on every test either. Feel good you are trying your best.”

Your child’s aptitude

My thoughts today, parent-worriers, is this: If your child has Dermott-like tendencies, don’t despair. How Junior does on his third grade math test will not likely have an affect on his/her future.

Do you agree?

Good luck from a fellow Dad,

:: Joe Hage ::

P.S. 7,000 kids in America die from sudden cardiac arrest each year. I set up a discount site at http://UrKidatSchool.com where 19 AED defibrillator to protect your kids at school are available (as of this writing). Please seriously consider getting one. (Disclosure: I work for the company that makes them.) Thanks.

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… can go a long way.

This took me an extra 45 seconds and I know what Zachary’s reaction will be.

 

 

What Zach will see in his lunchbox tomorrow

What one little extra can you do for your child today?

Good luck from a fellow dad,
:: Joe Hage ::

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In Dad’s Life Lessons On The Wall, I shared an easy and loving way to teach your child important life lessons. Perhaps one of my lessons is one of yours?

Rule #3: Are you proud of who you were today?

The photo of Zachary with Rule #3 on his bedroom wall.

So you blew it today.

That wasn’t a smart thing to say. Your friend is mad at you. You fought with your sister. You got caught in a lie and got punished. Today was not a good day.

Rule #3 is simple. Ask, “Am I proud of who I was today?”

If the answer is ‘yes,’ congratulations! What did you like about your behavior today? Is it something you can repeat tomorrow?

If the answer is ‘no,’ why? Can you do something differently tomorrow? Can you apologize or do something to make someone else feel better?

The point of Rule #3

Nothing’s permanent. You have another chance tomorrow. Don’t beat yourself up about a bad choice you may have made.

If there’s something you didn’t like about today, do better tomorrow.

What are your life lessons?
I’ve come up with a dozen or so, some I discovered in the last two years. What are some lessons you’d impart on your kids? Perhaps something you’d be willing to share here?

…

Good luck from a fellow Dad,
:: Joe Hage ::

P.S. 7,000 kids in America die from sudden cardiac arrest each year. I donated an AED defibrillator to protect my kids at school. Consider doing the same for yours. Email me for details at joe@joehageonline.com. Thanks.

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In Tweet Your Kids, Tweet Your Kids #2 , and Tweet Your Kids #3, I wrote “Ever think ‘I should write that down’ when your child says something funny?”

I use Twitter for that. Here’re some Tweet-worthy comments from my boys.

Seven-year-old Zachary

My Beautiful Zachary

7yo Zachary tried “delivering newspapers” today, tossing a paper from his bike. Fell. Scraped. Said “I’m never going to be a newspaper boy.”

“Every time I watch Tom & Jerry it makes me want to eat cheese.”

Zach: “Dad, your esculum is showing!” Dad: Do you mean “epidermis”? Zach: “Oh. Right. Yes.”

“Thank you God that I’m alive and that I came to this family.”

Watching The Flintstones with Zach: “Did they really have cars like that back then?”

7yo friend over, tattles: “Zachary hit Lucas!” Zachary: “It’s true. I’m going to my room now.”

Dad: “Lucas, what’s that on your face?” Zachary: “Maybe it’s a disease!”

Oh my. Zach just said, “Lucas! You don’t have to be so argumentative!” We’re in trouble.

Zachary discovered Daddy’s Wharton Follies video + can’t stop saying “Cheerios Sucks” http://budurl.com/CheeriosSucks

Five-year-old Lucas

Lukey's big catch

Involving my 5yo in problem solving. What should we do? “We should punish him if he doesn’t do it my way.”

5yo Lucas: “Honey? Honey? Beth? Mom! Momma? Excuse me, Momma! Mom! Mom! Dad?”

Dad: You’re talking nonsense. 5yo Lucas: “No. Kindergartners do good talking stuff.”

On my way to #Gnomedex. 5yo Lucas: “Don’t go, you big AnnoyingHead!”

5yo Lucas: “I just want to be big. Big people get to drive cars. Little people just get to drive tractor stuff.”

Great moments in Hage history. 5yo Lucas: “Daddy, I can spell my second name! H-A-G-E!”

Zach hit Luke in the crotch with a ball. Lucas: “Zachary! You almost broke my penis!”

5yo Lucas: “I don’t like getting punished and I hate it!”

5yo Lucas: “I cleaned up. Can I have $20.” No. Why don’t u pay me $20 for making ur sandwiches? “I don’t have money. Get it from Mom.”

5yo Lucas: “What did I look like when you and Momma buyed me?”

5yo Lucas: “Daddy, how do doggies get maked?”

5yo Lukey: “Daddy, did you know ‘gluteus maximus’ is another way to say a potty-talk word? It means butt.”

5yo Lucas eating cookies: “Dad, can I have the three-ith one?”

5yo Lucas under a blanket: “Daddy, I’m naked.” Dad: “Why?” Lucas: “Because I love myself naked.”

Guest post from Luke’s friend’s mouth:
Mother, “Mason, did you speak to God at church today?” 5yo Mason, “No, but at the end, the other people ate him.”

Have some kid gems? Leave them in the comments!

P.S. 7,000 kids in America die from sudden cardiac arrest each year. I donated an AED defibrillator to protect my kids at school. Consider doing the same for yours. Email me for details at joe@joehageonline.com. Thanks.

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I just read President Obama’s entire speech to my seven-year-old and asked him what it meant.

He said, “It’s more than just the same old day and the same old homework. You can put effort into your stuff, like the three children [he gave as examples]. People who try always make it. And, wash your hands.”

Some excerpts from the nation-dividing speech:

“We can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, and the best schools in the world – and none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities. Unless you show up to those schools; pay attention to those teachers; listen to your parents, grandparents and other adults; and put in the hard work it takes to succeed. And that’s what I want to focus on today: the responsibility each of you has for your education. I want to start with the responsibility you have to yourself.”

“We need every single one of you to develop your talents, skills and intellect so you can help solve our most difficult problems. If you don’t do that – if you quit on school – you’re not just quitting on yourself, you’re quitting on your country.”

“Maybe you don’t have adults in your life who give you the support that you need. Maybe someone in your family has lost their job, and there’s not enough money to go around. Maybe you live in a neighborhood where you don’t feel safe, or have friends who are pressuring you to do things you know aren’t right. But at the end of the day, the circumstances of your life – what you look like, where you come from, how much money you have, what you’ve got going on at home – that’s no excuse for neglecting your homework or having a bad attitude. That’s no excuse for talking back to your teacher, or cutting class, or dropping out of school. That’s no excuse for not trying.”
Now, what’s the controversy exactly?

:: Joe Hage ::

Other posts from Joe Hage:

Dad’s Life Lessons: Rule #1 + Dad’s Life Lessons: Rule #2

Tweet Your Kids + Tweet Your Kids #2 + Tweet Your Kids #3

Emploment Opprotunities

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Pencils? Check. Pens? Check.
Notebooks? Check. Folders? Check.
AEDs? Come again?

An AED, an automatic external defibrillator, can make the difference between life and death on a school campus – indeed, anywhere.

       911 and CPR (in isolation) make for a "half-hearted" emergency plan.        Get a defibrillator.

Cardiac arrest happens when the heart’s electrical impulses suddenly misfire. The heart becomes unable to pump blood. Unconsciousness quickly follows and, without an electrical shock from a defibrillator within minutes, chances for resuscitation are grim. Only one victim in 20 typically survives.

Calling 911 and administering CPR are the first two links in what the American Heart Association calls the “Chain of Survival.” Defibrillation (which mostly anyone can give) and advanced life support (from a trained rescuer) are the other two links.

365,000 North Americans will die from sudden cardiac arrest this year; 7,000 of the SCA victims will be young. Six-year-old Emiliano was one of the lucky ones. His school had an AED when he went into cardiac arrest.

An AED study published in the August 11, 2009 Circulation (a journal of the American Heart Association) found that at 1,710 U.S. high schools with AEDs on site, nearly two-thirds of cardiac arrest victims survived. That’s more than 12 times higher than the typical survival rate of only about 5 percent when cardiac arrest occurs outside of a hospital.

For perspective, lead researcher Dr. Jonathan A. Drezner says cardiac arrest is the leading cause of death in young athletes. Of the 36 cardiac arrests in the high school study, 14 struck student athletes. Nine of them survived. Among the 22 adult occurrences, fourteen survived.

Kaitlin Forbes survived too. She was running to first base when she fell.

This child wasn’t as fortunate. No AED was present. He did not survive.

Can I say that he would have definitely survived if there had been a defibrillator present? No, I can’t. It’s not that linear. But for $1,500 or so, and that were my child, I wouldn’t want to find out the hard way.

My kids’ school has a defibrillator. Does yours? Ask them before the school year starts.

You are welcome to email me for more information or fill in this form and say you found out about defibrillators on Dad-O-Matic.

Other cardiac arrest statistics:

…
Joe Hage is the director of marketing communications for Cardiac Science, manufacturers of the Powerheart AED G3 defibrillator, so he has a vested interest in defibrillator sales. He encourages you to do your own research on defibrillation in schools. The most important thing is that you have a defibrillator (any brand), not necessarily his.
…

1 AHA Guidelines 2005, Part 5: Electrical Therapies, IV-39
2 Braun O, McCallion R, Fazackerley J. Characteristics of midsized urban EMS systems. Ann Emerg Med 1990 May;19(5):536-46
3 Mosesso VN Jr, Davis EA, Auble TE, Paris PM, Yealy DM. Use of automated external defibrillators by police officers for treatment of out-of-hospital cardiac arrest. Ann Emerg Med. 1998;32:200-207.
4 American Heart Association website

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In Tweet Your Kids and Tweet Your Kids #2, I wrote “Ever think ‘I should write that down’ when your child says something funny?”

I use Twitter for that. Here’re some Tweet-worthy comments from my boys.

Seven-year-old Zachary

Zachary the Clown

Zachary to Lucas: “We’ve got to be in bed by 7:30 or else Daddy’s going to get punished!”

Showing Zachary: M. Jackson’s Thriller for 1st time. Zach: “Why are all the monsters dancing?” Momma: “Because they all like the same music”

Mom: “Zachary, wear your windbreaker.” Zach: “How can a jacket break wind?”

“I know why they call it a pen pal. He’s your pal and when you write to him you usually use a pen.”

Easter at the Hages. Zach: “Wow. I can’t believe how good we’ve been!”

Reading “Curious George.” 7yo Zach: “Why do they call him ‘The man with the yellow hat? Why don’t they give him a name like Ralph?’”

Daddy: “Zachary, make a card for Momma.” Zach: “I already made a card and a Shrinky Dink!”

Wrote his name + a message in a new book: “Zachary Hage. No reward if returned.”

RT @CardiacScience The SCAA clock http://budurl.com/DeathSCA just turned 128,000 cardiac deaths YTD. Zach asked me, “Why does God do that?”

Zachary now old enuf to shower. Dad: “Put shampoo in your hair.” Zach: “What?! Put some poop in my hair?!”

“Why are all the signs in Spanish?” during a daytrip in Mexico.

Zachary thought it was “Our Father who Wharton heaven.”

Five-year-old Lucas

"The Dude," Lucas

“Did you know? When girls have on lipstick, the lipstick gets on boys.”

At Father’s Day church: “How come I didn’t get one of those cookie things?”

“Momma, underpants and punderpants rhyme!”

Lukey’s afrd of ghosts 2nite. “Lukey, even if there are ghosts, they can’t touch you.” “Yes they can. There are people inside of them.”

Having trouble with a yo-yo: “Momma, this thing is being uncooperative on me!”

Lucas runs into the bathroom, “Mommy, make sure Daddy doesn’t eat my dinner.”

“The computer’s being really, really rude. It’s not letting me play my video game.”

How to teach a 5yo to blow up a balloon? 5yo Lukey: “I don’t have enough air in me.”

Lukey’s prayers tonight: “Thank you, God, for my most important brother. Thank you, God, for sunshine.”

Lukey to Mom: “I’m drawing a picture of Daddy with his penis on.” To me: “Look, Daddy, there’s your penis.”

Lukey slept without his “monkey light” last night. Dad: “Were you scared?” Lukey: “No. Just a little.”

…

I get a lot of comments from engaged followers. Give it a try.

P.S. You’ve heard a lot about cardiac arrest in light of Michael Jackson’s sudden death. You might not know 7,000 kids in America die from sudden cardiac arrest each year. I donated an AED defibrillator to protect my kids at school. Consider doing the same for yours. Email me for details at joe@joehageonline.com. Thanks.

:: Joe Hage ::

Other posts from Joe Hage:

Dad’s Life Lessons: Rule #1

Dad’s Life Lessons: Rule #2

Tweet Your Kids + Tweet Your Kids #2

Emploment Opprotunities

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We were at Grandma’s house, in the pool, just me and seven-year-old Zachary.

I had tripped across Fred Savage’s page on Facebook earlier in the day. And was reflecting on The Wonder Years’ finale, “Independence Day.”

And it occurred to me that these are Zachary’s Wonder Years.

I said to Zachary, “One day you’ll be away at college. One day your brother will have a job. And you’ll remember how you used to take a bath with him.”

I asked, “What will you remember about your Wonder Years?”

He replied, “How you used to tuck me in all the time.”

Still makes me watery-eyed.

How will your children remember their Wonder Years?
And what are you doing to shape and reinforce those memories?

Click the image to watch this touching video.

Good luck from a fellow Dad,
:: Joe Hage ::

Other posts from Joe Hage:

Dad’s Life Lessons on the Wall

Dad’s Life Lessons: Rule #1

Dad’s Life Lessons: Rule #2

Tweet Your Kids

Emploment Opprotunities

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In Tweet Your Kids, I wrote “Ever think ‘I should write that down’ when your child says something funny?”

I use Twitter for that. Here’re some Tweet-worthy comments from my boys.

Seven-year-old Zachary

The Momma: “Zachary got his first cup today.” Zach: “I don’t want to get hit in the wiener.”

Zach dropped a candy in the car, asked for another. When he dropped that one too, he said, “I guess I won’t be having that one either!”

Was telling Zach about how wolves were the monsters of their day + could snatch a child. Zach: “What, they had thumbs?

Proud of Zach talking back to the commercial about something ‘free.’ “No, not free! It’s an advertisement. They want your money.”

Zach prays, thanks God for his name. Why? “Because w/o a name, everyone would just be, like, ‘hello…?’”

Dad playing an online game, losing, saying, “I’ll never win.” Zach: “You’ve got to believe in yourself.”

“I know why the Tooth Fairy leaves money. It’s b/c fairies are so tiny that my tooth looks like a brick they can use to build walls.”

Zach: “Write something on Twitter!” Dad: “I don’t have anything to say.” Zach: “Write about your armpit.”

Dad (trying to figure out a Cracker Jack prize): “They make these difficult to understand.” Zach: “Do as much as you can and give it to Mom.”

Dad: “Zach, did you have breakfast?” Zach: “I had some bread while I taught Lukey about stocks.”

Zach on diarrhea: “I pooped in my pants and it melted.”

Five-year-old Lucas

“Thank you, God, for foodness so we can put it in our mouths.”

“Daddy, I’m dressed!” Dad: “That’s excellent! Your shirt’s on backwards.”

“When I get big I’m going to punish someone!”

“Um, Daddy? Momma took the fish and put him in the potty.”

“Momma gave me this new phone! And now it’s going to get old.”

Lukey’s idea about how to change a light bulb: “Dad, you just put Momma on your back so she can reach it.”

“Dad! Don’t videotape me! Just do your work, would you?!”

Wearing my robe, drove 5yo Lucas to his carpool. “Dad, are you going to get changed? I don’t want them to laugh at my Dad!”

“Momma, are those your chesties? Are they your private parts?”

Lukey: “Dad, where are you?” Dad: “I’m at work. I have to get the money.” Lukey: “Oh, OK. I’ll see you tonight.”

The Momma: “Lukey, be careful with the ornaments!” Lukey: “I’ll be so a lot of careful!”

…

I get a lot of comments from engaged followers. Give it a try.

:: Joe Hage ::

Other posts from Joe Hage:

Dad’s Life Lessons: Rule #1

Dad’s Life Lessons: Rule #2

Tweet Your Kids

Emploment Opprotunities

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In Dad’s Life Lessons On The Wall, I shared an easy and loving way to teach your child important life lessons. Perhaps one of my lessons is one of yours?

Rule #2: Negative thoughts eat away at your brain. Don’t let this happen.

On seven-year-old Zachary’s wall is a picture of an acidifying apple. A beautiful green apple with a few bites taken out of it, now turning brown. Soon it will get mushy, unappetizing.

“Are you a green apple or a brown apple,” I ask him. “Green,” he typically responds, totally understanding the analogy for more than two years now.

I explain the brain is the most important muscle in the body. Just like the muscles he needs to do a push up, the brain’s muscles need to be exercised to stay healthy. We need to keep the “brown stuff” out of his brain because brown stuff can make him very sick.

A Brown Apple

I let Zach and five-year-old Lucas know I have brown days. Everyone has brown days; it’s normal. I tell them happiness is one of the five things I wish for my children; that I will do everything in my power to help them have it.

Zachary was praying the other day: It’s usually a list of things to thank God for. Once I interjected with “and thank God for sadness.” Of course, he asked why.

“Without sadness,” I began, “you wouldn’t appreciate happiness as much. If you were happy all the time, happiness would be expected, taken for granted. Sadness gives you the perspective you need to really enjoy happiness.” He understood.

Taboo?
My wife and I debate how appropriate it is to talk about such a grown up thing as mental health with our young children. What do you think: How early is “too early” to introduce the subject of mental health to your children?

…

Good luck from a fellow Dad,
:: Joe Hage ::

Other posts from Joe Hage:

Dad’s Life Lessons on the Wall

Dad’s Life Lessons: Rule #1

Mom and Dad on Strike

When Lying is Good

Emploment Opprotunities

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Ever think “I should write that down” when your child says something funny?

I use Twitter for that. Here’re some Tweet-worthy comments from my boys.

Six-year-old Zachary

“Guess what, Daddy?” What, Zach? “I was the first one to see Santa after he ate his lunch!”

“I pooped extra for you.” Dad: “Why?” Zach: “So you can lift me up!”

“Dad, you heated this pizza so much I feel like I’m eating fabric!” Yes, he said fabric.

“I can’t be any more cuter than I am, I’m sorry to say.”

“Dad, I had perfect comic timing. I picked my nose, Momma laughed, and I didn’t laugh at my own joke.”

“Dad, can I have money for the stock market now? I am six!”

Zachary at dinner: “Why do cows taste like hamburger?”

Four-year-old Lucas

“Why did the shoe cross the street?” Mommy: “Why?” Luke: “So he could get to the other side and poop next to the chicken.”

“I like Santa. He’s my favorite person.”

“Mamma, how old do you have to be — to be an adult and be in charge?”

I so love you, Daddy. I so love you so much.

“I can’t do that right now. I already did that tomorrow.”

“Daddy, you scared my ears!”

Adoring Lukey, I said, “You’re very cute.” He replied, “You too,” and climbed into my lap.

I get lots of comments from engaged followers. Have fun with it.

:: Joe Hage

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A friend at work told me how he got his teenage daughter to stop lying years ago.

After she told a lie, he said, “OK, you’ve shown your mom and me that it’s ok to tell a lie in this family. So we’re going to start lying to you.”

“You can’t do that,” she protested. “You’re the parents.”

A few days later ….

“Dad, will you pick me up at the mall?”

“Yup.”

Never shows up. She can find her way home. Boy, was she pissed.

Later, “Dad, will you pay so I can go to the whatever-it-was?”

“Yes.”

Didn’t pay. She couldn’t go.

Now they joke about it. “Cured me from lying forever,” she says.

What do you do when you really need to alter your child’s behavior?

Good luck from a fellow Dad,

Joe Hage

…

Other posts from Joe Hage: Dad’s Life Lessons: Rule #1

Mom and Dad on Strike

Emploment Opprotunities

Dad’s Life Lessons on the Wall

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Inspired by fellow Dad-o-Matic author Brendon Connelly and his Photowalking with kids, here’s five easy steps to family fun.

1. Get camera.

2. Go to Party City or equivalent.

3. Try on ridiculous hats / glasses.

4. Photograph.

5. Repeat.

Have fun! From Joe, Beth, Zachary, and Lucas Hage!

P.S. We bought Lucas’ birthday candles glasses. They broke almost immediately.

...

Other Dad-o-matic posts by Joe Hage: Emploment opprotunities

Dad’s Life Lessons: Rule #1

Dad’s Life Lessons on the Wall

Mom and Dad on Strike

…

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We were driving today when we passed a sullen man on a corner waving an arrow back and forth.

“Going out of business sale,” his sign said.

I asked six-year-old Zachary, “Do you think he likes his job?”

“No,” he answered.

I told him I felt sad for the man. Sad that he wasn’t able to do the kind of work that he would like to do.

I told Zachary, “It’s very important that you find out what you want to do in life. Then focus on it. And get it.”

He understood my point.

What do you think of this example? The man might actually be thrilled to have the job.

I could have talked about how great that man was for doing that job to support his family. I chose instead to suggest that he could have been more than “a guy holding a sign,” and “you, Zachary, can be more than a guy holding a sign.”

Did I teach the wrong thing? Did I miss an opportunity to instead teach empathy? I look forward to your feedback.

Let’s figure this one out together,

:: Joe Hage

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Dad’s Life Lessons: Rule #1

Dad’s Life Lessons on the Wall

Mom and Dad on Strike

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Hitting at school. This after yesterday’s “pushing game” at school and the day before’s “spitting at school.”

Now his mom and dad are on strike. And we kept him home from school today.

Going on strike

Lukey gets what “going on strike” means. It means he’s drained our energy.

– He has to prepare his own food.

– He has to clean his own dishes.

– He has to put himself to bed.

When Mom and Dad are on strike, we make a clear (and very important) distinction between love and service. He still gets 100 percent of our support. He can still sit on my lap and get loved. He still feels very much a part of the family and keeps his self confidence and self esteem.

But he knows that he’s gone too far and he needs discipline. We’re not helping him pick up his things, do his chores. Nothing. Mom and Dad are serious! It seems to be working.

Home from school

Luke’s spending most of today in his room with books. He can “earn” some toys from his good behavior.

As I left for work this morning, I went into his room and pet his head. I looked at him in the eye and I told him,

We’re doing something nice for Eric today. We’re doing something nice for Amber today. We’re doing something nice for Russell today.

We’re keeping you home. They will have a nicer day because you won’t be there to poke them or hit them or push them.

I told him how that made me sad that we had to do that. And I told him how he was put here to make people smile and laugh (something he’s remarkably good at), not to make people sad and cry.

And I think he understood in his four-year-old way.

What do you do when you really need to alter your child’s behavior?

Good luck from a fellow Dad,

Joe Hage

…

Related Post: Dad’s Life Lessons: Rule #1

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In Dad’s Life Lessons On The Wall, I shared an easy and loving way to teach your child important life lessons. Perhaps one of my lessons is one of yours?

Rule #1: Family comes first, starting with your brother.

I have two personal experiences that make this Rule #1.

I’m proud of neither. One has a happy ending.

The Ghostbusters video

Remember Friday Night Videos? For those of us who didn’t have cable (thanks, Dad), NBC aired this 90-minute show featuring music videos, a new concept back then.

I loved it. I would sit there with my VHS recorder and tape all the videos.

This was important stuff; sacred time. There was no reasonable excuse to interrupt me. (I still have my tapes.)

Finally, one of my very favorite songs came on. Ghostbusters! A bonus feature: it even had a scantily-clad model I recognized running through it. And I was taping it all!

In walks Dad. He has something to say.

My reaction was visceral and fierce. “GET OUT OF MY WAY!!” That didn’t go over so well.

He was maaaad. “That’s just a television show! I am your father!!”

Moral of the story: Family comes first. More important than things. Zach can relate to this story. (Luke doesn’t really understand Daddy’s stories yet.)

Cranky after a nap

As a high schooler, I wasn’t very nice to my family. Plenty of smiles and energy for my friends. Cranky and selfish at home.

One day my dad challenged me: “Why are you so nice to your friends and so mean to us?”

Without a pause I answered, “Because you have to take it. If acted like this to my friends, they wouldn’t be my friends anymore.”

I told you I wasn’t proud of it.

In a lesson I never forgot, Dad told me that “friends come and go, but family remains.” And while I’ve clearly had and have some exceptional and supportive friends, he was right on most occasions. Many friends were transitory. We were close while we were in school together, or worked together, or some such thing.

But family remains. Which is why Moral #2 is family comes first. More important than friends.

I add in “starting with your brother” because, God give us long life, I hope the boys will outlive us both. I want them to be best friends forever.

…

Oh, and the happy ending I promised. When I thought I was going to lose my 83-year-old father two years ago (he’s still ticking), I apologized for what I said. I told him how important the lesson was to me. I told him how it became Rule #1. And I was happy that I had the chance to apologize face-to-face in this lifetime.

Good luck from a fellow Dad,

Joe Hage

Other posts from Joe Hage:

Mom and Dad on Strike

Emploment Opprotunities

Dad’s Life Lessons on the Wall

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Once I thought, “What if I didn’t come home safely today?”

There’s so much I want to share with my children. Zachary (6) and Lucas (4) would never hear all the life lessons I want to teach. All the anecdotes I want to share. All the guidance I want to give.

And it made me very sad.

A letter from me to you

I began to pen letters from me to the boys. Something I prepared for just such an occasion. It morphed into a list of life lessons.

Then I thought, why save it?

I could begin to share my rules for a happy life right away.

Enter ‘The Wall’

The boys spend a lot of time in their rooms. Going to bed early, waking up early, time outs: all can be opportunities to leverage the real estate in the room for something positive.

On each boy’s bedroom wall is an illustration of each of the ten or so lessons in life I want to impart. I put them up one at a time. Months pass before I put up the next. And from time to time I ask, “What’s Rule #1?”

I just put Zach to bed. I gave him a quick quiz: What’s Rule #1? #2? He was able to give them all back to me, if not verbatim, the essence of each one. He gave color to them that went beyond what was on the page.

This “wall thing” is paying great dividends for us. I highly recommend it.

Good luck from a fellow Dad,

Joe Hage

What do you think of this idea? What would you put on your child’s wall?

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Other Dad-o-matic posts by Joe Hage: Emploment opprotunities

Dad’s Life Lessons: Rule #1

Mom and Dad on Strike

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