The use of aluminum bats in high schools and colleges has always bothered me. Major League Baseball does not allow aluminum bats and only uses wooden bats. However, high schools and colleges all across the land use this deadly weapon all because of economical reasons. T-Ball and Little Leagues also use these thunder sticks.  I’m sorry, you cannot put a price on our children’s safety! Yes, wood costs more and does not last as long, but I say so what! I hope this will lead to the end once and for all for aluminum bats.

Besides being safer to use, wooden bats would also better prepare youngsters for minor league and major league play which only uses wooden bats. Having played with both types of bats I can tell you it makes a tremendous difference in hitting. It also changes the way you field the ball because of the incredible speed of the ball coming off the metal bat.

Here’s a short video about the horrific accident that might actually help change a decades long travesty. As fathers, I highly recommend that you insist that your children’s baseball team not use aluminum bats anymore and only use wooden bats. Even if it means you have to buy your own, I would do it. Talk to your coaches and other dads and let’s continue this important movement before another one of our children is hurt. It’s not a question of if but when it happens again.

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Words are powerful. Words spoken by a parent to a child are very powerful and often can carry far more weight and impact than we realize, so as parents we should choose our words carefully.  With that in mind, here are:

5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Kids

1) F#&*! – You need only watch prime time TV to understand that our standards of what words are acceptable on television have been substantially reduced over the years.  George Carlin’s (R.I.P.) infamous “Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television” are all practically standard fare on Cable TV and at least two or three of them have crept their way into acceptability in broadcast TV.  Despite what we watch and how we may speak amongst adult friends and co-workers, we should never use such language when talking with our kids, no matter what their age.  There are times when I enjoy cursing like a drunken sailor, and even times when it is sort of appropriate (amongst adults), but if I use those words with my kids, I am sending them all sorts of wrong signals.  Yes, they are aware of and use “the F word” and other expletives, but it is different when they hear it in a conversation with mom or dad.  This is one case where I think a “double standard” is for the best.

2) “Shut Up!” – I worked as a Camp Counselor for many years at Camp Winadu in Pittsfield Mass, and one of the great policies they had was that we were not allowed to say “Shut Up” to the campers and we were instructed to treat it as a “dirty word.”  We shared that with the kids in our charge and discouraged them from using the phrase as well. I have tried to carry that rule with me as a parent as I agree with the wisdom of Winadu that “shut up” is insensitive and inappropriate.  There should never be a situation where not allowing someone to say something is an option.

3) “…or else…” - How many times have you said to one of your kids, “You’d better not do that… or else!” ???  How many times have you said that knowing full well that in fact there was no “or else” in the cards.  I am definitely guilty of that one.  But why bother tagging a declaration to your kids with an idle threat?  Isn’t it better to just say, “Don’t do that.”  Period.  They should know why, and they should respect what we say without the dangling threat of “or else…”  It is silly.  They know as well as we do that the odds of there really being an “or else” are pretty thin.  Say no to “or else”… or else!

4) YELLING AND SCREAMING – This is another one I have certainly been guilty of on occasion.  Parents are human and we can lose our cool too.  When we do, it is easy to yell at our kids.  However, rarely does screaming improve whatever situation you are frustrated about, and it certainly doesn’t give our kids the sense that we are the adult and in control.  Plus, doesn’t it feel silly afterwards?  I try hard not to let myself yell and scream at my kids.

5) Lying - Honesty and trust are of paramount importance in any relationship.  Honesty and trust are essential traits for a happy and successful life, which is what every parent wants for their children.  You can’t teach your kids the value and importance of honesty and trust if they catch you in a lie.  Pulling the wool over your kids eyes will only blind them to the importance of telling the truth – always.  George Washington had the right idea when he said “I cannot tell a lie…”  We shouldn’t either.

What do you think?  Do you agree with the 5 things above?  Are these things you should avoid saying to your kids? Are there other things you would add to this list. Let’s continue the conversation in the comments!

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

Photo Credit: © paxi – Fotolia.com

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Day 94 - HNT Massage by lintmachine, on Flickr

It’s a rough life. You need to relax. Massage therapy turns out to be the perfect thing. Now how do you explain it to the children before they overhear about it, talk to their friends, and think you’re doing something dirty.

Farfetched? No. My own late teens son didn’t understand what massage therapy was. My wife and I  had to walk him through the concept.

How can you present massage therapy to your children?

• Massage therapy is …
  • a therapist massaging muscles and tissue
  • involves touching legs, arms, back, and neck
  • is not done in secret
  • is normal therapy
• Massage therapy involves removing some clothing.
  • at no time is the body fully uncovered, just one limb at a time or only the back
  • the person receiving the massage can remain fully dressed
  • you keep your undies on <- important for children!!
• Massage therapy benefits by …
  • improving circulation
  • relieving stress
  • preventing headaches
  • aiding in recovery from illness and injury
• Massage therapy isn’t about sex.
  • it’s about healing
  • it’s about dealing with stress
  • it’s to reduce tension in the body

Now these talking points aren’t comprehensive. They’re a guideline to get you started. I’ve been getting massages for a couple of years now. It started with a coworker recommending them. Yes, another adult male, with a child.

It’s easy for people to take this down the sexual route and make jokes. It’s critical that in your conversation with and without your children that you steer clear of that.  What you say in private often ends up at your kids ears.

Finally, not only talk with your children, but make sure to include your partner. It should be clear that the whole family is on board. Trust is key.

I hope you take a few minutes to not only consider massage therapy but if you do, consider discussing it openly with your children.

Todd Jordan is a father and grandfather. He regularly blogs at The Broad Brush on social media and things more personal. Todd is available for guest blogging and more at tojosan-at-gmail.com.

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No, this is not a show about Tony Danza and Alyssa Milano, but in this week’s Cast of Dads podcast we do start off discussing who plays the role of chief disciplinarian in each of our homes.  And of course, what would a show about discipline be without a healthy peek at punishment.  From “dunce caps” to spanking to a good old “guilt trip,” us dueling dads tackle tough love and more in this week’s talk.

Topics discussed in this episode include:

• Who is the softy in the house?
• Who is the enforcer?
• When siblings begin helping with the parenting
• Teaching to respect adults balanced with not trusting strangers
• Friends known as “aunts” & “uncles”
• Naughty Steps, Dunce Caps and time out
• Losing control and raised voices
• Extreme discipline
• To Spank or not to Spank?

You can listen to Cast of Dads Episode 12 here.

If you have been enjoying the Cast of Dads, please tell your friends about the show and have them subscribe to either our direct feed or via iTunes.  Also, please leave us a review in iTunes!

Cast of Dads is a group of podcasting and blogging dads who gather to gab about fatherhood.  The cast of dads includes C.C. Chapman, Jeffrey Sass, Max Kalehoff, Michael Sheehan, and Brad Powell, who collectively represent 13 kids from the youngest of babies to full grown adults. Each of them brings a unique perspective to being a father.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes!and Social Networking Rehab.

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Next. Next. Next. Whoa! NEXT! Next. Hey now! Next. Next. Next…  If you have been clicking on “next” a lot lately, perhaps it is because you have been one of the millions of Internet users checking out the latest on-line fetish fad, Chatroulette.  If you live in a cave and haven’t yet heard of Chatroulette Jon Stewart gives a nice introduction here.  In essence, as the name quite literally states, Chatroulette is an anonymous video chat randomizer, allowing anyone with a webcam and Internet connection to essentially go speed dating through the motley morass that is humanity (at least the part of humanity that in 2010 feels compelled to test their inner voyeur, inner exhibitionist, or both!)  As with any new technology Chatroulette attracts pornography like a giant science lab magnet attracts iron dust, so be forewarned (and warn your Internet browsing children), Chatroulette is most definitely NSFW (not safe for work, or a home with kids for that matter).  Which is why we need, Dadroulette!

Dadroulette: Spinning Through Your Kids’ Lives?

Consider this post as an open request to the slick young Russian dude who created ChatRoulette to re-purpose his code for a good cause and please create Dadroulette.  Dadroulette would let us dads log on and “next” our way through the webcams of only our children, wherever they may be.  Sequestered in their bedrooms, in the computer lab at school, or at a friend’s house, wherever our kids are, Dadroulette would let us click through and be right there with them to check in and say hello.  I mean, if schools in Pennsylvania can do it, why can’t Dads everywhere?  Think how happy our kids will be to know that dear old dad loves them so much he wants to randomly pop up in their webcam while they are in their bedrooms and dorm rooms. Think how happy us dads will be to toss out any semblance of trust and responsibility and poke our pointy parental noses into the private lives of our progeny?  Awesome, right?  NOT!

Good Gimmick, Bad Idea

I hacked into the Chatroulette code and did a little test of my Dadroulette concept.  As the screengrab in this post documents, I came across my son in his apartment at college and my oh my, I found him hanging out with his roommates and one of them had, oh my gosh, A BEER!  I wanted to say hello and give him a fatherly lecture about responsible drinking but before I could finish unwrinkling my furrowed brow he went ahead and clicked “next”, sending me off to my daughter’s webcam, where I was equally shocked to find her doing her homework.  She looked up, gave me an exasperated, “Daaaad!” and “nexted” me off to chat oblivion.

The Real Roulette

Clearly, my satirical game of Dadroulette would in practice be a very bad idea.  However, I hope it helps illustrate a bigger point that we have written about before.  The Internet IS a game of Russian Roulette, especially for our kids.  At any given moment an on-line session can turn sour, exposing us to bad viruses and bad people.  Our digital trails do indeed go on our “permanent record” and can become a bullet in the chamber, shooting us in the foot when discovered by friends, family or employers.  From Chatroulette to Facebook, we can’t stress enough to our kids how important it is to be careful, cautious and to use common sense when hanging out in our digital world.  Chatroulette may be another good excuse to have that conversation with your kids again.

In the end, Chatroulette can be at once fun, funny, daring, disgusting, deplorable and delightful.  Just like the Internet.  Next!

What do you think??? Let’s chat about it in the comments…

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

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It’s hard for me to believe but I just went back through my posts on DAD-o-Matic and saw that I hadn’t talked much about my number one topic and how and why I got into blogging consistently. My oldest daughter.

My oldest daughter Haley has CP, Cerebral Palsy. When I finally decided to start my own blog I wanted a topic I felt I could write consistently on and my kids were the best bet and my oldest daughter was always providing interesting challenges partially because of her CP and partially because she like to provide interesting challenges.

Fast forward to the begining of this school year Haley entered the first grade and another student called her weird because she walked weird.

That event set off a spark and Haley with the help of Raye Lynn, her grandmother, decided to write a book about Cerebral Palsy and explain what it is and how she is not weird. The book turned out to be wonderful so we decided to publish it.

The book is being published as an 8.5×8.5 hard cover.

The time has arrived and the publisher is ready to print. We are taking initial pre-orders for the book.

If you are interested in pre-ordering your copy the cost is $19.95. This is $5.00 off the cover price. We will be donating 10% of the proceeds of the sales of the book to the ALC. The (ALC) Adaptive Learning Center was instrumental in helping Haley achieve her current abilities and confidence and we love the program. They facilitate inclusionary classrooms in pre-schools.

The back cover of the book reads:

Haley, a first grader, never thought of herself as different because she has cerebral palsy. When a new classmate told her she was weird because she wore braces and walked funny, Haley was upset. She did not know what to do or what to say as a response. With help from her parents and grandmother Haley decided to write a book explaining that she was not weird-cerebral palsy is not weird. Haley tells what cerebral palsy means and tells all that she does, just like everyone else. Haley brought her book to school and it was read to the class to help the children understand. Haley is proud of herself and hopes her book will help others to understand about cerebral palsy
Haley is an incredible girl who’s just like anyone else except she walks differently. Haley’s writing guide is RayeRaye, her grandmother, the director of a pre-school where she helped to facilitate a model inclusionary pre-school in Atlanta. Haley lives in Marietta, Georgia with her parents and sister and brother.

To order the book go to “I Am Not Weird”. You will be able to order your copy of the book via Pay Pal. If you live in the Atlanta area and we can hand deliver the books to you choose the local pay pal button. If you are not local, do not know us, and we will have to ship the books to you please choose the pay pal button labeled “With Shipping.” The shipping charges are $2.99 and we will send the book via USPS media mail.

Here is a quick video of the interview I did with Haley on writing the book:

I know I’m biased but I think this a great book to share with your kids.

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My youngest’s bio on Facebook. Why I love him.

I’m a pretty laid back person. Unfortunately, I’m a person who wears their heart on their sleeves.

I’m the son of an awesome father, Todd Jordan, who really cares for me. Also, an awesome loving mother, Sharon Jordan, who cares for me just the same. Without these two people in my life, I’d probably be in shambles right now. Sitting somewhere on the side of the roads. They’ve helped me with a lot of my troubles. Its enough to where I talk about how I love being with them, despite not always showing it.

Todd Jordan – The man who has taught me enough to run circles around some computer situations. And enough to also be able to adapt to new computers and technology. Also the man who has taught me discipline to be able to turn the other cheek on stressful times and become the person I am today. Without his guidance, I would surely not be sitting here today.

Sharon Jordan – The women who has, still is, and always will be teaching me how to better my house living. Washing dishes, doing laundry, cleaning, etc… You name it, she basically will have it covered. Though a bit of a softy, she will not miss a chance to speak her mind. And you’ll know when she does. She has also done her best to raise me just as well as my father has.

Steven Jordan – The person who used to always watch over me as a child while my dad was out as sea, and my mom was working. If it wasn’t for him, a lot of what my family has been able to do, probably wouldn’t have happened. Family is always nice to be able to rely on in toughest of times, and it was awesome that he was around to help. For a good 13 years of my life, he did just that. I love him to death, and felt like most of my life went bleh when I couldn’t be around him. When my parents weren’t around, he was definitely both the Mother and Father of my life. Always continuing where they had left off. So you can bet your butt that I didn’t get away with anything no matter what while they were away.

Those three people listed above have help mold and shape my life into what I’m living right now. Sheltered, clothed, fed, loved, comforted, taken care of, and a place to sleep. I can not thank them enough for what they have done these 19 years of my life. And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to in the years to come.

Music is apart of my life, and I enjoy singing the songs I know the lyrics to. Even if its just part of the song. Please do not stop me. If you don’t like it, then i’m sorry. I learned to play the guitar in High School, but due to my laziness, I never continued. I stuck with computers and had bettered myself in what I already knew.

Computers and Technology have been apart of my life ever since I can remember. My dad, being a Computer Programmer and Data Analyst, has taught me a lot. He taught me how to do the basic of Web-Design when I was in Middle School. He also taught me how to stop problems before they become bigger. And fix problems that have already occurred.

He’s brought me troubles, heartaches, losses and made me angry, but all of those things are transient. He’ll always be my son, whom I love.

Todd Jordan is a father of two boys, and grandfather of three lovely girls. He’s a geek, playing photographer, programmer, and blogger at The Broad Brush.

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As noted here, in this week’s episode of the Cast of Dads podcast we talk about how to be prepared for a natural disaster.  The topic was no surprise, since we recorded the show just hours after the earthquake in Chile was reported and while the world waited to see what coastal areas would be affected by the resultant tsunamis.  As usual for the Cast of Dads, we cover a lot of ground.  Living in an area frequented by hurricanes, this was a topic that hit close to home.  Speaking of hitting close to home, below is a picture I took outside my home after Hurricane Wilma…

Topics discussed on this episode:

• Emergency preparedness for families
• Earthquakes, wild fires, hurricanes, tornados & blizzards
• Planning vs. Reacting
• How does your school notify you about emergencies?
• Steve Garfield’s French Toast Level Alert
• The Media fueling panic with weather
• How to deal with kids while going through a weather event
• Technology solutions for disasters
• Generators, Crank Up Radios & Battery Backups
• Drobo
• Getting rid of land lines
• 911 Locations
• What is in your car trunk?
• Growing up on a sailboat
• Remaining calm around the kids
• Fear of kids in cars
• I Saw Your Nanny
• Nanny Cams
• Finding your 13 year old driving
• Fire Alarms & Smoke Detectors
• The possibility of an upcoming “Mime Episode”

You can listen to Episode 11 here.

If you enjoy listening to Cast of Dads, pleased don’t forget to tell your friends about the show and have them subscribe to either our direct feed or via iTunes. Also, please leave us a review in iTunes!

Cast of Dads is a group of podcasting and blogging dads who gather to gab about fatherhood.  The cast of dads includes C.C. Chapman, Jeffrey Sass, Max Kalehoff, Michael Sheehan, and Brad Powell, who collectively represent 13 kids from the youngest of babies to full grown adults. Each of them brings a unique perspective to being a father.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

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When I was a kid, there was a series of commercials for “Chiffon” margarine that had the tag line, “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature!”  Lately it seems that perhaps we must have been trying to fool her and now Mother Nature is seeking her revenge and proving her prowess with a daunting display of disasters.  Earthquakes, blizzards, hurricanes and tornadoes are just the tip of the melting iceberg.  What’s a mere mortal human being to do?  In all seriousness, the Boy Scouts had it right when they made their motto “Be Prepared.”  There are many things in life that we cannot prevent, and the sudden seeming wrath of Mother Nature is one of them.  But we can do our best to be prepared, and keep our families prepared for the unexpected “force majeure.”  Inspired by a recent recording of the Cast of Dads podcast, and my own experiences with Hurricanes living in Florida, here are…

5 Ways To Be Prepared When Mother Nature Roars:

1) Portable Power – An unfortunate side effect of many natural disasters is the loss of power.  When Hurricane Wilma struck my neighborhood, we were without electricity for almost 2 weeks.  You quickly learn how reliant we are on electricity.  Having multiple sources of portable power in your home is a must. Options include generators and lots of batteries.  There are many battery chargers that include USB or 12-Volt plugs so you can use them to charge your mobile phones and other devices.  The problem with batteries, however, is that they have to have a good charge to be worthwhile, and they lose their charge over time when idle.  Therefore it is important that “emergency” batteries are replaced with fresh ones periodically, and that battery charger devices are regularly plugged in to refresh their charging abilities.  It goes without saying that multiple flashlights are an essential need, and I have found that having a few self powered (wind or shake) flashlights really come in handy as the “battery” issue is no longer a worry.

2) Reliable Communications – While we all rely on our mobile phones for just about everything, there is a good chance you won’t be able to use your phone reliably after a natural disaster.  If the networks are not directly affected, there will be extraordinary high call traffic, making it hard to get a connection.  Try text messaging if you cannot get through for a voice call as you may be more successful with the data network.  Also, as you want to conserve battery life, you want to keep voice calls short and to the point.  Eventually, you may no longer have use of your phone if the battery dies and you’ve exhausted your charging options, so it is important to have other ways to get information and find out the status of the emergency.  I have found a wind-up (crank) emergency radio to be extremely useful.  They are inexpensive and functional.  I have one that has AM/FM/Shortwave Bands as well as a USB plug to charge other devices.  I have a second one that has dedicated weather radio bands, and a built-in flashlight.  Not only are these radios great for finding out the latest news and other reports when the power is out, but you also need to keep everyone relaxed and entertained, and a little background music from the radio goes a long way to give a semblance of normalcy to an awkward and quiet powerless home.

3) A Family Check In Procedure – Of course disaster can strike at any time and therefore it is possible that you and your family members may not be together when Mother Nature goes ballistic.  As parents, our greatest fears are when we are away from our children, so make sure you and all your kids (or their schools and caretakers if they are too young to do it themselves) know what the family emergency check in procedure is.  Assume that you may not be able to just call each other.  Therefore you should consider establishing a reliable relative or friend in a different State or part of the country that can be the point person.  Make sure all your family members know multiple ways to contact the point person – home/office/mobile phone, email, text message, social networks, etc. – and let everyone know that if they can’t reach you, the next thing they should do is contact the point person, and let them know their status.  Of course the point person can also reassure everyone about who they have already heard from.  Another good idea is to have an agreed upon meeting place away from your home in the event your home is inaccessible. (Note to self: refresh this program with my own kids!)

4) A Plan For The Pets – If you have pets they are part of the family, so a family emergency plan has to include your fine furry friends.  If you have multiple pets and multiple family members, you might assign each person a particular pet that they are responsible for watching over and/or evacuating in an emergency.  Have proper crates, carriers and leashes easily accessible and it is probably best to keep pets contained during the crisis, as they are every bit as frightened and concerned as you are.  When Hurricane Wilma struck, we kept our three dogs and cat contained in a bathroom, and while their howling added to our stress, we knew exactly where they were and that they were safe.

5) Food & Water – It is always a good idea to have an ample supply of water in the house.  Stick a case of bottled water in a closet or in the garage and forget about it.  If you have 5 gallon water bottles delivered, make sure your regular order is for a few bottles more than your family actually drinks so you always have a few “spare” full bottles.  A stock of canned goods seems like a good idea, but keep in mind that you may not have the ability to heat things or boil water.  Take a look in your pantry and cabinets and see what foods you have that are not perishable and are “ready to eat” without cooking or boiling water.  Stock up on more of those.  Peanut butter, dried fruits and nuts and power bars are all good things to have “extras” of at all times.

These are just a few of the basics and I am sure there are many more important tips for being prepared.  Please add your own tips and suggestions to the comments and together we can turn this post into a useful resource for parents and families.

Most importantly, especially for parents, do your best to remain calm and provide your children and family with the support, confidence and leadership they will most certainly need when Mother Nature strikes.

NOTES AND DISCLAIMER: Our thoughts and prayers continue to go out to those affected by the earthquakes in Haiti and now Chile.  If you are so inclined you can donate to the Red Cross here.  Also, some of the links to products in the above post are Amazon Affiliate Links.  Any affiliate revenue generated by the links in this post will be donated fully to the Red Cross.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes!and Social Networking Rehab.

Photo Credit: © victor zastol’skiy – Fotolia.com

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Here’s a news item about a tragedy that has a silver lining thanks to the University of Clemson and its football coach Dabo Swinney. High School football star Jake Nicolopulos had a dream to play college football for the Clemson Tigers and it was all set to become a reality until he had a stroke that now requires him to learn how to walk and talk all over again. It appeared as if his lifelong wish to be a part of the Tigers would never happen now.

Not until coach Swinney and company decided to honor Jake’s commitment to Clemson and proceeded to make their offer anyway. Somehow, despite the difficulty in even holding a pen, Jake signed the contract and his dream came true. Just like that. All because of a class act named Dabo Swinney and the fine institution called Clemson.

I heard this story while driving into work this morning on 790 the zone as they interviewed coach Swinney and it moved me deeply. What a wonderful display of humanity that put things in perspective. I’ve always liked Clemson (because my wife graduated from Clemson and played in the Tiger band) but now I’m an even bigger fan. Now that’s a man I would love any of my sons to play football for. Incidentally, my wife Lori also worked as a rehab nurse at Spinal Sheppard Center in Atlanta, GA where Jake is rehabbing.

Here’s more information about Jake and this heart-warming story.

Photo credit: Jason Getz, jgetz@ajc.com

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At the opening of this episode you will hear a promo for The Boom Effect, an auction and fund raiser for fellow dad and good friend Tee Morris who recently lost his wife.  Tee will be raising his little girl known as “Sonic Boom” on his own, and the Podcasting community has been very supportive with contributions and events such as this auction. The Cast of Dads encourages you to donate and help in any way you can to assist in making sure this little girl has what she needs as she grows up. Tee, our thoughts are with you!

This week the Cast of Dads faces off with Facebook as we talk about the challenges of raising kids in a digital world.  How old (or young) should kids be when they start using Facebook?  Does everything really end up on your “permanent record?”  These are just some of the things we cover in this episode:

• Kids getting on Facebook (Under 13 not allowed)
• COPA Law
• Oh Snap It’s Violet
• Should Facebook have more parental controls?
• Teaching children online values
• The Next Great Generation
• The digital trail we all leave online
• Social Media Guidelines
• Todd Defren’s “Team Before Tweet“
• The Don’t Be Stupid Rule (Olympic snowboarder pictures)
• Be Upfront
• Camera that captures your life
• School Laptop webcam privacy case
• Digital Nation
• Open conversations on mobile phones
• Candid Camera
• PleaseRobMe.com
• Blog Design – roll your own vs. hiring a designer
• The hotness that is the new Dad Labs
• Dadsourcing
• Our search for guests (e-mail us if interested)

You can listen to Episode 10 here.

If you have been enjoying the Cast of Dads podcast, please tell your friends about the show and have them subscribe to either our direct feed or via iTunes. Also, please leave us a review in iTunes!

Cast of Dads is a group of podcasting and blogging dads who gather to gab about fatherhood.  The cast of dads includes C.C. Chapman, Jeffrey Sass, Max Kalehoff, Michael Sheehan, and Brad Powell, who collectively represent 13 kids from the youngest of babies to full grown adults. Each of them brings a unique perspective to being a father.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes!and Social Networking Rehab.

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Here’s an excerpt from Katrina Kenison’s wonderful book “The Gift of an Ordinary Day” that totally captures the beauty and power of being a parent, for both moms and dads. I loved what she shared here because it’s something that I realized a long time ago. It isn’t really all the big important events in our children’s lives that we will miss the most when they grow up but all those little moments that most of us take for granted. I try my best to take pictures and videos of the routine day to day things that we don’t usually notice because I know I will miss them so much some day. I call them little slices of life.

My kids are 11, 7 and 4 now. I still have time to savor many more of these magical extra-ordinary days but I also know that they will fly by in a heartbeat. I remember when my big Nicholas (11) was born and I could hold him in one hand…but now he’s almost as tall as I am! I also remember when Rachel (4) was this little pixie baby but now she’s this little lady so full of questions and strong opinions already (I know where she gets that from!). Then there’s Matty (7) , whom we called Peanut because he was so tiny but now he’s a dynamic little man full of life and wonder. I love each stage for all its worth but I also miss the ones we leave behind forever. I even miss the things we get rid of such as the cribs, the high chairs and changing tables. All part of the process of letting go… but I am still hanging on for dear life as long as I can.

Please watch Katrina as she shares this portion of her book. It truly says it all. I want to thank my wife Lori for finding this treasure and sharing it with me…along with those 3 little angels we spend our ordinary days with. For more of Katrina’s insightful musings subscribe to her blog: http://www.katrinakenison.com/ordinary-day-journal/

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LIAR.  It is a four letter word that can be far more hurtful than other familiar expletives. This is especially true when the liar in question is someone you love dearly and completely.  As parents we spend our lives hoping to instill in our children a sense of truth, trust and responsibility.  We teach them right from wrong, good from bad, love from hate.  More than anything we want them to grow up to become good people, and good people don’t lie.  Good people are trustworthy.

Kids Will Be Kids, But Is That An Excuse?

This week one of my kids was caught in a lie, a bad one.  Granted it wasn’t something life threatening or irreparable, and some might argue that it it was the kind of thing that “kids do” (especially teenagers and young adults). I’d argue that the activities and behavior that were lied about may be “typical” of the age and times, but for me that does not excuse the lying.  For me, nothing excuses a breach of trust.  For me, losing that trust in my child was a very painful slap in the face.

It Is Broken, Now Fix It!

As a parent, it is relatively easy to devise ways to punish our kids for bad behavior.  From “time outs” to “grounding” to docking allowance and temporarily restricting various privileges we have an arsenal of punitive parental ploys at our disposal.  However, there is no punishment I am aware of that in and of itself will restore my faith and trust.  That is something only my child can do on their own behalf.  That is something my child will have to work hard at, over time, for trust is not something one can restore with a single action, like the wave of a magical wand.  Trust must be earned, and regaining lost trust is even harder than earning it in the first place.

Perhaps that is why lying, exposed, is so painful.

What do you think?  How important is your ability to trust the words of your children.  What are the best ways for a child to regain their parent’s trust?  I know that time is on my side, and in the end my unwavering love for my child will make it all ok in the long run, but right now it is not the truth that hurts, it is the lie.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes!and Social Networking Rehab.

Photo Credit: © Takus – Fotolia.com

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“…You can’t be too careful.”

These were the words of a somewhat strident middle-aged lady at Dungeekin Minor’s ‘football’ training session on Saturday, as she vocally and agressively demanded to see the (female) coaches ‘paperwork’.

The trouble is – I rather think you can be too careful.

When you’re not the parent, and you turn up at week five of a six-week course for 4-year-olds, and you behave with such suspicion, you don’t look like you’re acting in the best interest of the child. You look like an idiot with chronic knee-jerkitis.

Especially when said session is attended by all the other parents, all of whom are within sight of all the children for the duration of the session YOU’VE just cut short with your paedospicion.

Reality check. Despite the railing and screeching of both Government and tabloids, not everybody who has even tangential contact with your child is a predatory paedophile, desperate to deflower and subsequently devour your little angel. Surprisingly, at a nationally-accredited and franchised kids’ club and with the parents supervising, your little boy’s somewhat more likely to learn football than fellatio.

His innocence is safe with the football coach. Sadly, however, with a relative such as this the child’s innocence is somewhat less secure within the family.

Children need to grow up learning to be safe, that’s for certain. They need to learn, as they mature, that there are people and things that are a risk to them and how to verbalise their concerns if they have them.

All that acknowledged, though, they still learn to be able to trust.

Everyone is a stranger at first. If you teach your child that any non-familial adult is a rampant kiddy-fiddler, then quite aside from skewing their sense of risk-awareness they will learn only to treat every adult with suspicion.

Have you considered how this will affect their long-term ability to develop relationships? Is their ‘protection’ in childhood worthy of potential damage to their adult life?

Because the way I see it, the attitude of the lady in question has the potential to be no less damaging to the child’s long-term development than the actions of the very individuals from whom she wishes to protect him.

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(NOTE: usually my posts here are written originally for Dad-o-matic.  That said, I recently wrote on my personal blog about Chef Jamie Oliver’s impassioned and impactful speech about childhood obesity at the recent TED conference.  I realize that Chef Oliver’s speech would likely be of great interest to the Dad-o-matic crowd, so with permission from myself, I am reposting it here.)

My infatuation with TED continues.  I have yet to watch a TED Talk that I haven’t found thought provoking and inspiring.  It is really some of the best content you can find, and it is free!  I have written before about Natasha Tsakos and Philippe Starck’s amazing presentations.  If you want a deeper understanding of the TED conference, Robert Scoble has written an insightful overview.  This year’s TED just took place and according to reports, one of the highlights was Celebrity Chef Jamie Oliver’s passionate talk on obesity in America.  He shares some shocking and revealing statistics about how our fast food nation is literally eating ourselves to death. As someone who can certainly afford to lose a few pounds I need only to look in the mirror and at many of the people I see day in and day out to recognize that Jamie speaks the truth, and how far we have lost our way when it comes to diet and food.  What do you think?  Do you and your family cook fresh food on a regular basis?  Do your kids know how to prepare a meal using “real” ingredients?  Are these basic skills our fast-paced, over processed society has left undone?  Food for thought…

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes!and Social Networking Rehab.

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On Thursday my middle child Abby decided she was ready to wear panties. She had a hard time on Thursday but when I put her to bed Thursday night she said “Daddy can I wear panties to school again tomorrow?” So on Friday she did better and then yesterday when we were all home she did much better but was still having a few accidents.

My oldest daughter turns to us, Melanie (my wife) and I, and said, “I think we need to put her back in diapers.” Both of us responded “no” and I followed up by saying “there is no option but success now.” It only took a few minutes to hit me that this isn’t just an approach to potty training but rather needs to be an approach to life and business.

If you take “there is no option but success” and apply it to business, then can you ever really stop trying, can you ever really fail? Yes there are plenty of failures along the way. Sometimes you get almost all the way to the potty but have that accident just before you reach it. Sometimes you think you’ve got it and you’ve made it to the potty three times in a row but then you’re way deep in the middle of watching Caillou and all of the sudden the rush comes too quickly. But if there is no other option but success then you recognize that it’s okay to fail along the way as long as you don’t lose sight of the end goal.

I think we as adults forget this principle way too often and allow for the option of failure. So I suggest next time you feel like you are on the precipice of failure take a step back and look at the end goal and remember failure is part of achieving success. After all, you do wear panties to work don’t you?

Kevin Metzger is father to Haley, Abby and Isaac and husband to Melanie. He is a Business Systems Architect and writes on tech and business topics at MetzgerBusiness.com. Kevin also writes MySpellingSucks.com for which he was awarded the 2009 East Cobber Father of the year. Recently Kevin has started TheDADvocateProject.com where he is looking for participation from dads to help write a book about this current generation of dads. Come by and fill out the DADvocate survey.

Photo Credit – massdistraction

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The Cast of Dads gathered early on Valentine’s Day to catch up and compare notes on our romantic plans for the day.  Despite a few pregnant pauses as we contemplated Cupid, we managed to cover a wide range of topics, from our daughters dating, to the pleasures of power tools.  Here is a complete rundown of what is discussed in this week’s show Valentine’s Day show:

• Hanes #ComfortCrew Trip to Disney
• Chocolate Roses from Edible Arrangements
• The definition of “bridge and tunnel crew”
• Eating out on Valentine’s Day
• Our continued love of Modern Family
• Surf N’ Turn Tradition
• Baby Proofing Your Marriage
• Avoid a Valentine’s Massacre
• Not the Normal Valentine’s Day
• Nothing Says Happy Valentine Like Power Tools
• Kids copy you when it comes to love
• Evolution of the little heart candies
• Romantic Movies That Guys Can Watch
• Love Actually, The Ugly Truth, True Romance & Edward Scissorhands
• Application to Date My Daughter
• The “curse” of daughters

You can listen to Cast of Dads Episode 9 here.   You can also subscribe to either our direct feed or via iTunes.  Also, if you have been enjoying the show, please let your friends know and leave us a review in iTunes!  Thanks for listening!

Cast of Dads is a group of podcasting and blogging dads who gather to gab about fatherhood.  The cast of dads includes C.C. Chapman, Jeffrey Sass, Max Kalehoff, Michael Sheehan, and Brad Powell, who collectively represent 13 kids from the youngest of babies to full grown adults. Each of them brings a unique perspective to being a father.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes!and Social Networking Rehab.

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Yesterday was Valentine’s Day, and while Jeff has provided some great ways to avoid disaster today, I wanted to talk about why I didn’t really start caring about it all, until our oldest daughter was born.  It’s not that I’m not a romantic, quite the contrary.  I think it’s more that, like most men, I hate being told what to do.  I much prefer to give my wife flowers on a random Wednesday, for no reason other than it makes her happy, than because the calendar and a florist advertisement says I have to.

I’m not stupid. My wife and I celebrated Valentine’s Day before our daughters were born. I always remembered a card, and flowers, and sometimes we would go out, and sometimes I would cook.  It was always at least a little bit under protest though.  It was always because it was easier to go with the flow than take a silly stand against a “Hallmark Holiday.”  I looked at it as a good excuse to remind my wife how much I love and appreciate her.

You see, she loves holidays.  All of them.  That became really obvious after our kids were born.  She makes a big deal.  She gets decorations and balloons, and makes sure the house looks special, and our kids love it. Whether it’s a birthday, or New Years, or yes, Valentine’s Day, they know it’s a special day as soon as they wake up and step out of their room.

The great thing is that I enjoy them a lot more now too.  Like today, when our six year old came into our room and couldn’t wait to show us what she wrote on the card she made for her sister.  She picked out a Dora card with stickers, because her little sister loves Dora (and stickers).  Seeing how much she wanted to make today special for her little sister, the way her mom does, was one of those moments that make parenthood worth all the , well, you know.

I can’t help but get into the act. Some heart shaped pancakes were just the thing to kick off our Valentine’s Day.  I can tell you that making them meant more to my wife than buying flowers ever could.  So yes, my wife and I will let each other know how much we mean to each other, and maybe even have a romantic dinner, but our life hasn’t been just about us for some time, and today is no different. It is so much better.  It has so much more meaning.

Ian is the father of two young daughters (6, and 2).  He  has a podcast and blog about starting a business while raising young children at Startup Daddy.

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It is Valentine’s Day!  Time for everyone to get their heart on!  For us Dads it is one of those days (like birthdays, anniversaries, the day you and your significant other met, etc.) that is best not forgotten.  There are many ways to recognize the day and reveal your romantic side, and like most things in life, the best ways to show your love and appreciation and look more Cupid than stupid is to keep things simple and sincere.  With that in mind, here are…

5 Ways To Avoid A Valentine’s Day Massacre:

1. Flowers – Yes, a rose by any other name is still a rose, but giving a flower by any other name on Valentine’s Day ain’t gonna cut it.  Of course a dozen (or two) is best, but even a single long stem, elegantly and lovingly presented, goes a long way.  While roses come in a literal rainbow of colors these days, this is the one occasion when RED is a must.  Any roses are better than no roses, and in order of preference you can get your roses a) delivered, at a surprise location, by a florist, b) at your local supermarket, c) at a roadside stand, or d) cut, secretly, from the bush in your neighbor’s yard.

2. Phone – If by some chance you are not with your Sweet Valentine today, make sure you call her before she calls you (and if you haven’t already, stop reading this and do it now!). Make the call all about her, and how much you appreciate having her in your iife, etc. etc. etc.  This is the one day when you can’t get too sappy, Even if you are with your Valentine today, use the phone to reach out and touch the other women in your life.  Valentine’s Day is a great day to call moms, mothers-in-laws, sisters, daughters away from home, and tell them you love and appreciate them.

3. Food – It is no surprise that little cherub Cupid is on the pudgy side. From chocolates to breakfast in bed to dinner at a favorite restaurant, food is a wonderful way to nourish the heart on Valentine’s Day. For many guys, our preferred thing to make for dinner is a reservation, but as Digital Dad CC Chapman recommends, Valentine’s Day is also a great day to don the apron and actually cook for your better half.

4. Words – Cards are great, and they come in all shapes and sizes and now they even talk and play music, but don’t leave it to Hallmark to make a real impression on your Valentine.  Whether you are a Shakespeare or not, today is the day to put a few sentiments in your own words.  If you are adventurous, write a poem (Haiku is easy and elegant).  There is no such thing as bad original poetry, especially on Valentine’s Day.  Give it a shot, and whatever you choose to do, make sure your words are hand written!  Do not type and print them!

5. The other 364 Days of the year – And of course, the BEST way to avoid a Valentine’s Day massacre is to not let today be the only day of the year you behave this way!  Flowers, sweet phone calls, food and words are ways you can be expressing your love and appreciation all year long.   Sprinkle them unexpectedly into your routine to keep your Valentine smiling all year round.  Do that, and every day can be Valentine’s Day!

If you have some additional tips. please add them in the comments.  In any event, Happy Valentine’s Day!

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

Photo Credit: © AlienCat – Fotolia.com

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Here’s an amazing project from Pepsi called the PEPSI REFRESH PROJECT where they will spend millions of dollars to fund ideas that we submit that have a positive impact on the world and planet. It’s such a wonderful concept and makes a great deal of sense because not only can we submit our ideas but we also vote on the best ideas submitted. The winners get the financial support they need in order to contribute something good to the world. Such a win-win deal for us all. Pepsi gets their good PR exposure (well deserved in this case), good people get the monetary assistance their project needs and the world benefits from it all.

Do you have an idea that can bring about change for the good? There are several categories for idea submissions and different levels of funding from $5K to $250K. Download the project toolkit and share your idea and you never know! Don’t forget that Pai sent ya!

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