Tonight, I watched Dave do something pretty amazing. With a short blog post and a tweet to alert the thousands folks who “listen” to him, he told a digital story. The story of Daniella and her 3 children. A story about how Daniella left her husband after years of physical abuse. And it included a photo. Just one. Of Daniella and her kids (they’re staying with Dave and his family).

Dave asked people do whatever they could financially to help them get an apartment. Enough to cover a deposit and rent for a few months.

So I pitched in and then sat back and watched others do the same thing, some folks noting how despite their challenging finances, they were still going to give, even if it was $1 or $5.

Dave’s goal was $5K.

In just over 2 hours, hundreds people have raised more than $8K for a family they don’t know and will probably never meet. Because someone they trust – a key influencer in their lives – asked them to help and made it very easy. Compare that with Tweetsgiving, a group that came out of nowhere and raised $11K in 48 hours around Thanksgiving to help expand a school in Nambia. People contributed generously and exceeded the $10K goal, but Dave’s relationship with the 200+ contributors is what has been able to drive this success in such a short timeframe.

You can see Dave’s original post here:

http://darmano.typepad.com/logic_emotion/2009/01/pleas-help-us-help-daniellas-family.html

And see how Twitter is abuzz with it here:

http://search.twitter.com/search?q=armano

And Dave’s use of video to say thanks:

http://darmano.typepad.com/logic_emotion/2009/01/thank-you.html

Dave’s generosity and first-ever request like this shows that success in social media continues to be based on real relationships with fans and advocates. And as dads, it’s a reminder that our #1 job is to be an example to our sons and daughters, to teach them by doing the right thing, not just telling them what it is.

These days, I get more raised eye brows and rolled eyes from her than hugs. The little girl scream of “Daddy!” when I come in the house is replaced by “Oh, Dad, puh-leeze.” when I pull some knot headed move that I was unaware of as being highly embarrassing or lame. To make it even more bizarre I also have a 2 year old daughter who knows a rock star when she sees one (that rock star being me, of course).  I am living on both sides of the Daddy-Daughter Divide at the same time.

So I am on the edge with my oldest daughter and I don’t want to let go. Thankfully, I have actually found a solution to slow this process down. It’s Daddy-Daughter Date Night.  A good friend of mine introduced the idea to me a while back and after I got over the creepiness of the name I gave it a shot. Man, it works like a charm.

I am not trying to trick my daughter into liking me by taking her to the movies and dinner without her mom, brother and sister along as well. Admittedly, at first it felt that way. Instead, I started to see that I had a chance to model what a great date should look like. I know she is a few years away from that but if I don’t show her now I will lose my chance.

I open the car door for her (not all the time because I am still a guy and I forget but now she even reminds me when I don’t). I treat her like a queen on our “date”. I tend to forget that she will measure her future relationships with guys using the metrics that I establish.  Honestly, the thought of a relationship with her and a boy makes me want to puke but it’s inevitable.

At this point in time in my daughter’s life I am both loved and ridiculed in the same breath. I have received the “At least you don’t usually embarrass me” line which is a small victory. I can’t settle for that though. She is just too important to not show her that if someone can’t treat her with respect and honor then that guy gets the boot (which I will gladly do for her).

I am at a critical point in my daughter’s development and I have a choice. I can let the world determine what is healthy for her or I can model what is truly best for her. This awareness has actually made me a better husband because she is watching me with mom as well. Talk about pressure!

No offense to other dads reading this but I am going to make it difficult on your sons. Actually though, I would like to think we could all benefit because by teaching her to expect the best from the opposite sex then the one that can offer the best will be a real winner.

Foolproof? No. Foolish? Maybe. I love her too much to not try anything for her, though.

About a year ago we instituted “No TV Day” to minimize the amount of TV the kids watch.  On Mondays the kids are not allowed to watch television (DVDs were okay sometimes).  After a bit of consternation, the kids acquiesced and usually found another way to spend their time.  The success of “No TV Day” encouraged me to expand it to Mondays and Fridays which has worked quite well.

But lately, as the kids get a bit older, when the TV goes off, the Nintendo DS and computer (Webkinz, Toon Town, CartoonNetwork.com, etc.) goes on.  And that familiar glazed look returns.

At dinner this weekend my wife, the children and I talked about our concerns over the amount of time they spend passively staring at monitors (no, we didn’t use those words).  I proposed that “No TV Day” be expanded to limit other forms of entertainment.  My seven-year-old daughter suggested “No Technology Day” which sounded like it was headed in the right direction, but I wanted to put a more positive spin on it–a name that would reinforce positive behavior.  And “Imagination Day” was born.

“Imagination Day” is pretty much what it sounds like.  Watching television (even movies) and playing computer games are not allowed.  But the kids may interact with technology (even TV) if they are actively using their minds to create something e.g. composing a song on a keyboard or using my video camera to make a movie.  My wife and I must also adhere to the rules of “Imagination Day” (it’s only fair), but we are allowed to work, or write blog posts.  What better way to use my imagination?

Today was the our first run at “Imagination Day,” and the kids played very well together.  I’ll keep you posted on how it goes; in the near future maybe every day of the week will be “Imagination Day?”

The animation is very well done, and blended with the amazing voice talent and an engaging storyline, made the film entertaining from start to finish.  The tale follows the dreams of a young panda, Po, who has grown up working in his family’s noodle shop in the Valley of Peace, secretly idolizing the Furious Five - Tigress, Crane, Mantis, Viper and Monkey — under the leadership of their Sensei, a Lemur named Master Shifu.  Po dreams of being a Kung Fu master, even as his father dreams of his one day growing up and assuming control of the noodle business.

There are no really new or innovative plot twists in this film.  It’s the story of a young man with dreams who gets the opportunity to fulfill them.  While there is a lot of buffoonery on the part of Po (Jack Black), there is also a very heart-warming message permeating the script.  There is no effort to make great changes in the protagonist, but instead an effort to help him understand and have faith in himself.  The issues of parental projection of values and dreams is addressed as is that age-old chestnut about judging a book (or a Panda) by its cover.

We thoroughly enjoyed the film, from parents down to five-year old Katie.  Finding time and experiences that the entire family can enjoy grows more difficult as the dispartity in ages increases, and the older children begin to branch out into lives of their own.  It’s important to find a way to bridge the gaps and share some smiles; moments like this are special.  Here’s to Po, the true Dragon Master.

Be careful what you wish for… you might get it.  I always wished my rockstar son would keep his room clean.  Invariably, whenever I walked by and heard his guitar playing and opened the door I regretted the mess I saw.   Now his room is clean.  It is more than clean, it is practically empty.  It is empty because on Friday he and I shared a moving experience: he moved out!

The Nest Took One Giant Leap Toward Empty

I have been a single dad for the past seven years, and as my three kids have grown I have grown to depend on them being around.  As my sons crossed the age eighteen threshold and began to drive their own cars it was great to feel like I was no longer the lone adult in the house.  Having two responsible young men around to help was a welcome new phase of fatherhood, and frankly, knowing they could pitch in and drop off or pick up their younger sister in a pinch made my life a lot less complicated.

It’s Not The Motion, It’s The Emotion

Who am I kidding?  Worries about driving logistics is not the reason my throat swells and chokes up when I look at my son’s empty (clean) room.  The truth is I already miss him!  I miss the constant soundtrack of his guitar practicing drifting through the house, our own private musical score.  I miss walking into the kitchen and seeing him eating cereal standing at the counter, and telling him to sit down at the table and eat like a human being (only to stand and eat at the counter myself as soon as he walks out of the room).  I miss his presence in our home.  I can feel something missing, and I don’t like the feeling.

The Dorm Is The Norm

I am extremely proud of my son (and all three of my kids) and I can certainly appreciate his desire to stop commuting and live on campus as he becomes more immersed in his college experience.  After all, when I look back at my own University days, my education came as much from “living away from home” as it did from the textbooks, classrooms and lecture halls.  It is a priceless experience I have always wanted my kids to be fortunate enough to enjoy.  I just never imagined how hard it would actually be to let them go.

Who Ya Gonna Call?

I am not afraid of ghosts, but I am scared of how my role as Dad is rapidly changing.  I am frightened by the sadness creeping into my heart as I realize that this is the first step toward the inevitable “empty nest” and a dramatic change in the way my kids will “need” me in their lives.  Intellectually I know this is all good and healthy and normal, and as good for me as it is for my kids, but emotionally I find it far more overwhelming than I had anticipated. Going from being their caretaker, to hearing your kids say “take care!” as they walk out the door to their own lives is a big deal!

A Moving Experience…

What do you think?  I turned to Twitter to help me decide on the title of this post, and now I am turning to YOU to help me finish it off.  Since this is all new to me, I’d welcome some tips and advice from those of you who have already been down this road.  Please share your own moving experiences in the comments.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 20, Ethan, 18 and Olivia, 17).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

Photo Credit © Bruce Shippee - Fotolia.com

Anyway, we were talking about our families and our relationships with our wives and we stumbled upon this startling conclusion:  Every man we know is grappling, struggling with the same fundamental question in his personal life:  Is my marriage solid?  There are two facts of life conspiring to make the lives of American men aged 30-50 more challenging right now.  Forgive me the gross over-simplification, but I think it’s necessary to make my point.

First, as we age, most of us slow down; we have a decreasing amount of energy at our command.  There may well be exceptions, but I haven’t met them.

Second, as we move from newly-weds to empty-nesters, the demands on that diminishing energy pool change dramatically.

Early in marriage, our robust energy is focused on the marriage and budding careers.  As we move into our late thirties and forties, careers get more time-consuming and kids hit the stage.  Not a lot of time to focus on our wives or even ourselves.  This is the stage when most of us fall out of shape and out of love.  Love in the romantic sense; our marital relationships are more important than ever, but for many of us our passion for our kids is more evident than our passion for our wives.  As the kids mature and gain independence - and here I’m conjecturing since I am not there yet - the kids consume less energy which means we can begin to focus on our wives again.

I saw my own parents go through this evolution.  There was a time when 110% of their time was consumed by kids and work, but now that they are semi-retired grandparents, their marriage seems to have regained a richness and levity that didn’t exist when I was living at home.

Why am I bothering to write this?  Because I think this is a universal issue associated with all young families.  It is easy to give up hope, to forget why you married your wife in the first place; to figure that your marriage will go downhill as time passes.  But that’s doesn’t have to be the case.  In fact, there are things you can do today to rekindle your optimism and commitment to your marriage.

• Don’t give up the faith.  Recognize that the doldrums you may perceive have more to do with your stage of life than your connection with your wife.  At some point you and your wife will both have more time to devote to your relationship.  I can’t say when, but I know that kids become more independent over time which restores energy to your marital relationship.

• Re-prioritize your relationship.  If you can see a light at the end of the tunnel - a rich, bright light - it is easier to commit more attention to it.  Dare to believe that you will turn a corner at some point, and you will find yourself putting more thought into maintaining a good marriage.

• Look for the easy wins.  Most of us overlook chances to score huge points by doing the little things.  Take out the garbage without being asked, buy some flowers on the way home from work on a Friday, surprise her with a babysitter and a night out… These things don’t take a lot of time or energy, but they help our wives see that we are committed to our relationships.  And that, in turn, will inspire them to respond.

I’m no marriage counselor, but I’ve talked to enough friends to believe what I’m telling you.  I think women discuss the state of their marital relationships with their friends all the time; men never do.  And because we don’t, we have no support system to bolster us when we tire.  Wouldn’t it be nice if we men dared to talk about the universal challenges we face as fathers and husbands?  We’d all feel a lot better.

For more of John’s musings on fatherhood and parenting, visit his blog.

About Two years ago, when I was out shopping, I ran across an amazing rocking unicorn.  If you squeezed its ear, it came to life.  The head bobbed, the mouth moved, and it made horse sounds.  There was the clip-clop of hooves and a good, spirited neigh.  I was captivated by the thought of my little girl, then about three and a half, perched on top of this magnificent plush toy.  It was on sale, and I was weak.

I was also not thinking straight.  First off, my daughter was too small for any such toy.  It as a good year and a half before she was large enough to sit on it safely.  Secondly, and more importantly, I bought the thing because I thought it was cool, and without thinking about how she would like it.  Katie hates toys that talk or move.  She goes into hysterics over walking robots and shaking ghost-things at Halloween.  She’d growing out of that now, but at the time, if I’d given it the slightest thought, I’d have realized what was going to happen.

The $100 plus toy came home.  We showed it to Katie.  She was mildly amused and rubbed its nose.  Then we pushed the button in the thing’s ear, and it came to life.  She hated it.  We turned it off.  Her brother and sister, of course, would from time to time turn it on because they thought her reaction was funny.  I left it in her room, still clinging to my image of the little princess hugging the neck of her plush steed, but over the years she never liked it.  When it came time to decide what toys we’d take to donate to needy children, she offered him up almost with relief. That was this year.

The lesson, of course, is a simple one.  Don’t buy toys for your children that you think are cool unless they think they are cool as well.  Don’t project yourself onto them, but allow them to grow and guide them when you can.

The best gifts come through understanding your child.  Parents have to learn too.

-DNW

In the big picture, much of what I do for a living is at best fleeting and at worst irrelevant. There is impact on lives due to providing services that improve businesses but that is fleeting as proven the last few months of economic disasters. Business and financial success comes and it goes. It’s often what our society values more than the things that have lasting impact for generations to come. It saddens me to think that the value placed on business and financial success often exceeds the value placed on things that are truly generational: people.

I don’t know how much time I am granted here on earth. I don’t want to know either. I do know though that I have been given an incredible opportunity and responsibility through the blessing of being a dad. I hope that we can all for a moment think about the upcoming year in terms of just being dad a little bit more.

Sure we only have so many hours in a day. Sure we have to ‘make hay while the sun is shining’. Sure we have to have a life of our own so we can stay strong (and sane). Of all those things though, I know in my life there is extra time spent doing things that don’t involve directly being dad and I want less of those and more of just being dad.

Dad means strength. Dad means love. Dad means influence. Dad means caring. Dad means modeling. Dad means paying attention. Dad means asking the hard questions. Dad means providing the hard answers. Dad means being a rock. Dad means being real. Dad means so much. Our kids deserve every ounce of our ‘daddy-ness’ this year. In fact, they deserve more than we think we can give.

There is no greater thrill, in my opinion, than being a father. I have a specific worldview, as we all do, that helps shape this for me. No matter what perspective you bring to the table make sure you bring dad to the table first. Let your kids have more of their dad this year than ever, then we can reconvene a year from now and celebrate real success.

Thanks to dads everywhere. You all rock.

We have strict rules about what Danni can and cannot get into at our house.  She is allowed to touch certain drawers and cabinets.  She is not allowed to touch the drawer with the eating utensils.  At other people’s houses she is allowed to go into those drawers (i.e. grandparents).  This is fine.  Danni is smart enough to know if something flies at Mimi or MeeMaw’s house that doesn’t mean it will fly at Mommy and Daddy’s house.

Chelsea was cooking dinner in the kitchen.  I was standing at the kitchen bar and telling her about my day.  Danni was running in and out of the kitchen.  Chelsea asked me to get Danni’s chair ready so she could eat.  Danni heard this and went to the drawer.  She opened it and reached in.

“No Ma’am!  We do not go into that drawer.”

“Okay, Daddy, Sorry” batting her eyelashes at me. (She gets THAT from her mother)

“It is not okay.  Next time you do that, we are skipping time out and you are getting a spanking.  Next time you go in that drawer what are you going to get?”

“A fork”

Previous TWSS:

Christmas Lights

She Sings

Santa

Last Word

So Sick

Mommy Sad

You can find Buck’s almost daily musings at Buck’s Blog

One thing I’ve learned is that the clock doesn’t move the same for parents as it does for children.  The older you get and the closer you come to watching everyone branch off into their own lives, the faster the days and years tumble by.  I remember when they moved more slowly.  I suspect that, for my children, it seems at times as if the hands on the clock are standing still.

My step-son Billy, the Guitar Hero whiz, has stepped up to real guitar and is learning fast.  He’s always been a little headstrong, but in the past year - he’s fifteen now - he’s begun reading for pleasure, learning to build websites, learned to play chess so well I don’t even want to play him anymore, and - in general - shown the signs of growing up and moving on that I knew were coming, but still find myself surprised to see.

I don’t want to go on and on here, but there is a message in this for me, and it’s a message I’d like to share with fathers and parents everywhere.  Whether you have fifteen years or only a matter of months left with your kids before they move on to begin their own separate lives, make the time you have left with them special.  Remember where life’s real priorities lie and invest in their future.  I have only months to go with Stephanie before she starts college and breaks away.  Billy isn’t far behind.  I have two boys from a previous marriage that I don’t see often enough - they are fourteen and fifteen and growing into young men.  We have a little longer with Katie, but when she crosses the threshold into school that first day, a bit of her life is lost to us as well.  I know we’ve forged bonds that will bring them back and keep us a family, at least I hope we have, but it will never be quite the same after 2009.

In the coming year, then, I have a family-oriented resolution. I hope to pry myself from my job and my writing career and focus more of my time on making it a year we all remember - a good year that will bring us closer together.  Maybe next January 31st I can drop back in here and tell you how it went.

David Niall Wilson

Today I had to have a difficult conversation with my daughters.  It was made harder because we live apart, they in the UK me here in the US.

So over the phone I had to break the news that I had received only a few hours earlier, that their Grandmother, my Mother had passed away.

My daughters are older - one is 20, the other just turned 18 two weeks ago.  This type of conversation is hard at any age face to face, the awkwardness of it over the phone made it seem even harder.

Having broken the news to them, I was of course, concerned about them.  Were they upset, how would they take the news.

What I found instead was that their concern was how was I? I was confused, I’m the parent, I’m the one that is supposed to be the strong one, the one that shoulders their concerns.

Their concern for me reminded me that I too was someone’s child. That parenting isn’t a function of age and that your children can teach you about being a parent as much as you can teach them about being an adult, if you are prepared to be open to learning that.

So I go forward into the New Year as an orphan, but instead of feeling only a sense of loss, I feel I have gained a knew insight, that my daughters have grown into wonderfully compassionate strong women - just like their Grandmother was and that as long as I remain open they, like her, have much to teach me.

What will you learn from the difficult conversations you have with your Children?

Image via Wikipedia

1. I wish I’d taken the kids to Disney World.  Let’s face it, I’m a bad dad.  The kids have gotten to a full decade and I haven’t taken them to the Mecca of Kiddom.
2. I wish I’d been able to take more vacation time with the kids. I was laid off in 2007 and didn’t get full time work until the very last day of the year.  That was on contract, so I didn’t start accruing vacation time until Memorial Day.  If I’d really been thinking, I’d have worked out a way to take more time off.
3. I wish I’d spent more time fishing with the kids. It’s the sport I shared with my father and grandfather and I need to spend more time sharing it with them.
4. I wish I’d realized earlier in the year how much my daughters are starting to grow up. They’ve learned to appreciate a real discussion with their father and their fathers friends.  Somehow I had deluded myself into seeing them as 6 year olds, and they haven’t been that age for several years.
5. I wish I’d replaced my small pickup with something the kids and I can be comfortable in. Too many trips started off with someone getting sent to the penalty box for elbowing before we arrived at the destination.  And too many times I had to utter the infamous words “Don’t make me stop this truck…”
6. I wish I’d taken the time to stay at horse riding lessons and watch the girls more instead of running errands.
7. I wish we’d read together more and used the Playstation less.
8. I wish I understood more how to reach my eldest daughter who has Asperger’s Syndrome.
9. I wish I could better explain to my youngest daughter how much I appreciate that she is patient with her older sister, who doesn’t always understand social situations.
10. I wish that I took better care of myself and stopped trading my health for dollars by working like a dog. That translates into having more time in the long term to spend with my children.

It’s sounds pretty bad on the surface.  Yet I’m a glass half full kind of guy, so I pledge to turn that list around and make it my self-improvement list for the coming year.

One funny thing, while I wrote that list, I didn’t think once about how I should spend more time in the office.  Imagine that…but then I guess I’m not writing this for “Work-o-matic”.

(Mark Cahill blogs at http://www.allthingscahill.com on tech, social media, and online marketing)

Great entertainers like Art Linkletter and Bill Cosby recognized the attraction of the pure innocence and good humor of kids being kids.  When he was younger, my middle son Ethan (now 18)  seemed to be constantly auditioning for his own regular slot on “KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS.”  Some of my all time favorites were his insistence that our first (and cleanest) President was “George Washingmachine” and that every year, around this time, we gathered our pens and swords and prepared to make our “New Year’s Revolution!”

In the spirit of my son’s New Year’s Revolution, here is a list of some New Year’s Resolutions for parents and families.  Hindsight is always 20/20 so it is easy for me to write these out now, although I wish that I had perhaps been more diligent myself in adhering to these suggestions over the years.  Most of these are painfully obvious, yet so easy to let slip by, so I hope you don’t mind me stating them here as a reminder for us all as we enter 2009.  These are suggested resolutions for parents, and for us parents to instill upon our kids.

TOP TEN NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS FOR PARENTS AND FAMILIES:

1. Eat meals together as a family as much as possible (and with  NO TV, Phones, iPods or handheld games).
2. READ. Books, comics, magazines, newspapers, anything and everything. Just READ.
3. HUG more.
4. Say “I love you” more.
5. Exercise regularly.
6. Eat healthier.
7. Have more real conversations, and LISTEN.
8. Stay in touch more with friends and relatives in other cities.
9. Learn to play a musical instrument.
10. Recognize what you have and be grateful, every day.

How about you?  What are your family oriented resolutions?  What should be added to this list?   And as for those kids saying the darndest things, here is a classic clip of the late, great Art Linkletter.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 20, Ethan, 18 and Olivia, 17).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

Photo Credit: © design56 - Fotolia.com

SecretBuilders is a world where children will be entertained by the geniuses and intellects that gave rise to the best in human civilization rather than mass marketers. At SecretBuilders, children will not be tracked for revenue purposes or as potential consumers but rather as creative, ingenious beings that will help build a vibrant virtual world that will also impact their real world. In all, a tall order but then most of us behind SecretBuilders are parents ourselves so we are catering to two very demanding audiences – our children and ourselves!

A “tall order” indeed, and one that is not quite filled by SecretBuilders in its current incarnation. It’s a hard row to hoe if you want to get into the online gaming game, and I think there are several obstacles that stand in their way:

1. Reading

I first asked my six year-old to try it out. Unfortunately, you need to be able to read to understand how anything works in this game and he cannot (yet). While I could see this “forcing” a father-son interaction, what I actually saw was how it frustrated him. As he put it, “I don’t like it one bit.”

2. Competition

Frankly, there are a lot of games out there, and not just inappropriate and sketchy ones, that are already more established. SecretBuilders reminded me most of Club Penguin and that game already has legs (or fins, as the case may be). The question is: Why would a child choose this game over any of the options they already know? The answer is: I’m not sure. Nothing immediately differentiated this game in a “this is new and better” way.

3. Performance

I went on the game myself to try it out. It was easy enough to get started, but I was a little frustrated that you can’t really explore in the sense of just start walking and see what you stumble across. There are browser based games, such as Runescape, where this is possible and I think this capability makes a world automatically more engaging. Waiting around for the next place to load, is a buzz-kill.
———-

Like I said, the intentions behind this game are noble and if the idea is for it to serve as a platform for teachers, for example, then I could see it working. On the room-for-improvement front, my three recommendations for the creators are:

1. Add Explorability

The more explorable, the better. This is what makes WoW, Second Life, and Runescape interesting even to the novice. You can just jump in and start looking around without encountering immediate loading road-blocks (though, of course, you might get killed, but how else are kids going to learn?).

2. Add Constructability

The designers want kids to participate in adding features to SecretBuilders, but the way you do this is my emailing in ideas. Why not allow people to build basic structures or objects like in Second Life? There may be technical hurdles to implementing this, but they are not insurmountable. I think it would be cool if kids were able to make things that other kids could use or play with.

3. Colonize or Borrow Another Game/Platform

If you think it’s a good idea for kids to learn about history and culture through encounters with famous figures from fact or fiction, why not recreate these characters in a world that already exists (like Runescape, for example) and invite people to meet you there? If Runescape is too PG-13 for you, I’m sure there are PG or G-rated virtual worlds out there where you could basically take kids on field trips. Or, push coming to shove, ask one of the virtual world vendors to sponsor you or lend you server space so that you don’t have to reinvent the wheel. I could actually see one of these vendors being attracted to the idea first as a PR opportunity and secondly as a way of cultivating future users.
———-

Anyway, that was my take. Anyone else checked out this game? Did I miss something?

The other scary part of this seems to be the fact that you know they will make “big mistakes” which is why you have to give them plenty of room to grow as adults, hence wide open spaces. Still, you hope that your children will remember all of the valuable lessons you’ve taught them, not just verbally but via actions as well. Perhaps through osmosis?

My kids are still many years away from jumping ship but I’m already preparing for that day and making many pre-flight checklists. I’m trying to lead by example and by giving them little spaces to grow and make mistakes to learn from. Nothing major or dangerous, mind you, just little opportunities for growth for self-confidence. It’s also good practice for me in learning how to someday let go and let them fly away.

WIDE OPEN SPACES

Who doesn’t know what I’m talking about
Who’s never left home, who’s never struck out
To find a dream and a life of their own
A place in the clouds, a foundation of stone
Many precede and many will follow
A young girl’s dream no longer hollow
It takes the shape of a place out west
But what it holds for her, she hasn’t yet guessed
[Chorus:]
She needs wide open spaces
Room to make her big mistakes
She needs new faces
She knows the high stakes
She traveled this road as a child
Wide eyed and grinning, she never tired
But now she won’t be coming back with the rest
If these are life’s lessons, she’ll take this test
[Repeat Chorus]
She knows the high stakes
As her folks drive away, her dad yells, “Check the oil!”
Mom stares out the window and says, “I’m leaving my girl”
She said, “It didn’t seem like that long ago”
When she stood there and let her own folks know
[Repeat Chorus]
She knows the highest stakes
She knows the highest stakes
She knows the highest stakes
She knows the highest stakes

For 53 years, NORAD has been tracking Santa’s trips from the North Pole and around the world and providing up to the minute updates on his deliveries. This year you and your children can track Santa with NORAD by visiting NORAD Track Santa where you will find real-time updates on Santa’s position, videos from his stops in various cities, and the option to track him with Google Earth in 3D.

We have our Santa tracker already set up and are watching him make his way from the other side of the globe to our house. I hope he remembers to stop!

Chris Webb is the father of two amazing sons, a self-professed (and proud) geek and perhaps enjoys Star Wars a little too much for someone his age. Professionally he is an Associate Publisher for John Wiley & Sons where he manages a global technology publishing program.  His publishing blog is http://ckwebb.com.

In addition, he finds is slightly odd to write about himself in the third person.

I had this whole other story written out but it will get posted next week.  TWSS (That’s What She Said): Christmas Lights is more timely seeing how it is Christmas Eve.

As I stated in a couple of week’s ago TWSS post about Santa, we are all traveling around town in my Ford Ranger with Danni sitting in the front seat.

Danni can see everything and is loving it.  Besides yelling at Santa and telling them “TWO BARBIES!!!” She has taken to telling me “I see Christmas.”  This means that up ahead on the right or left is Christmas lights.  The other night on the way to drop her off at my mother’s house I decided that I would turn down streets where she saw Christmas.”

We made lefts and rights until we could see no more lights.  She turned to me and said. “Aww no more Christmas.”  More importantly we were lost.  I had made so many turns and not paid attention to where I was going that I had gotten lost in suburbia hell.  All the houses looked the same.  Intersections had not street names.  Suddenly, Danni said, “I thought we were going Mee-Maw (my mom) not Mimi (Chelsea’s mom) house.”  Eureka, Danni knew where we were.  The 2 yr old was able to help me get my baring.

Needless to say we were about an hour late for my mom’s house.

Previous TWSS:

She Sings Santa

Last Word So Sick

Mommy Sad

You can find Buck’s almost daily musings at Buck’s Blog

Then I realized that while my hips were fine, my belly can be in the shape of a pot at times, which was quickly followed with the idea that men usually die before women in part because many of us will eat whatever is put in front of us.

Now, I’m an avid cook. I’ve got about 30 cookbooks in all. And I’ve cooked for parties large and small. So I’ve come to appreciate how to put together good tasting meals and, while I think cooking is fun, I still want to learn.

The book was written by two telegenic Polish Canadian sisters, Janet & Greta Podleski. They certainly have a lot of enthusiasm. The two have their own TV show on Food Network Canada and their website is right here. Essentially, they’re creating their one little media empire in print, television, and the web.

The book is about 200 pages long with twelve reciped chapters such as “Hey, hey…We’re the Munchies!”, “Poultry in Motion”, “A Chorus Loin”, and “A Sweet Carb Named Desire”. Interspersed with the recipes are features such as “Return to Slender”, “Funky Factoid”, and “The E Files”. There’s not necessarily much difference between each feature, but they do give good advice on cooking, eating, and nutrition. And it seems as if each and every one was written carefully enough in a fun way to help the reader remember the content.

I tried four recipes from the book. Most of them are relatively simple. I say that as someone who’s whipped up some pretty extravagant meals. But simple make sense here. The spirit is fun, not formal; convenient, not complicated.

Bewedged, on p. 21, is baked whole wheat pita wedges with Parmesan and rosemary. They turned out pretty good, although some seemed to be more “well done” than the others. It’s a great snack that’s got only 1.4g of fat. Each wedge was 29 calories which quickly turned into 174 calories as I ate six of them. Made a meal out of it. Was watching football at the time. They’re good with beer.

I had to try the “Pizza for the Upper Crust”. Thin sliced pizza. I really liked it, but, perhaps being a guy, I saw it more as an appetizer. Football again. Easy to eat a lot while you’re sitting down. Sort of kills the idea behind the book, but, well, football was on. I definitely recommend using fresh tomatoes and herbs for this. The flavor comes out a lot better.

The third recipe I tried was “Dilly Beloved”. A chicken breast recipe that uses maple syrup, Dijon mustard, lemon juice and balsamic vinegar in the dill-based marinade. I really liked the marinade, but i think I did something wrong. I had never used maple syrup in a marinade before, so part of the marinade was thicker in some parts, thinner in others. I’ll try this one again. The marinade was tasty, but I want to do it right.

The last recipe I tried was “The Great Pretenderloin”. Wos. The seasoning rub, which called for ingredients such as brown sugar, lemon zest, dijon mustard, and streak sauce worked together perfectly. I managed to time everything just right and it was delicious. It said to cook it for 45 to 55 minutes and the roast I picked out must have been the perfect overall thickness, because it came out juicy, but cooked through. I had leftovers for days.

All and all, I’d say that it’s a great, fun book. Criticisms? They have a table under each recipe that shows calories, fat content, protein, carbs, etc. One thing that’s missing is “calories from fat”. That’s a mistake. It’s not the calories that will hurt you it’s where the calories are from. But at least they list the other attributes. Most cookbooks don’t. Probably because much of what you cook in them may be REALLY fattening.

If you’re a guy and can get past the fact that it seems as if it’s specifically written for women, and you like to cook and you’re conscious about what you eat, then I’d recommend the book. It may be a good buy because it is written in a fun style and you can use it to help teach your kids better nutrition. That’s essential. It’s handy to have around because most of the recipes are simple enough and don’t require 328 ingredients…some of which you may not be able to find at your local grocery store.

I’d say that I’d recommend this as a gift to a wife, a girlfriend, etc. But the problem there is that knowing the way many women are with their weight, I’d say some sort of clearance beforehand. Package the idea as health for the entire family. Subtle approaches like that can go along way. They won’t want to open up their gift to be greeted by the caption, “Return to Slender”.

When thinking about what to get my kids for the holidays I always try to put myself in their shoes and remember the gifts I received and how I felt about them when I was their age.  As kids grow up, the things that constitute a good gift may change dramatically, and as parents we should be cognizant of this and do our best to align the karma of our gift giving with the delicate state of our children’s gift receiving mojo.  After all, there are few things more annoying than giving a kid a gift that is clearly not appreciated.  They are KIDS, and even though you may have trained them well to smile and politely say “thanks,” you will instantly know if you hit the mark or struck out with your gift choice.  Been there, done that!

IT’S NOT WHAT YOU SPEND, IT’S WHAT YOU SPEND IT ON

I’ll never forget being about 11 and getting a gift from my Grandmother that was clearly aimed for a 9 year old!  Even worse, it was clothing for a 9 year old!  As my younger sister played with her age appropriate TOY, I sat in the corner and moped (until my grandfather had the clever idea of offering me one of the old classic book editions - MOBY DICK - that I had always admired on their bookshelf…)  Thinking back on this experience, I am inspired to share with you some simple guidelines for gifting kids.

5 TIPS FOR “GIVING GOOD GIFT” TO KIDS OF ALL AGES:

• TIP #1: IGNORE THE AGE GUIDELINES ON PACKAGING - the “For Ages blah blah blah…” that is printed on the packages of toys and games has no bearing on the habits and desires of actual human children.  It is determined by marketers and lawyers, mostly to prevent you from suing the toy company when your kid finds some creative, non-traditional, unexpected use for the item.  SOLUTION: Know your kid and what they like.

• TIP #2: FOR INFANTS TO CHILDREN UP TO AGE 2 - get whatever you want.  They could care less and will be more interested in the wrapping paper and boxes it came in.  Good time to buy them clothes and stuff they will hate when they are older.  HINT: Don’t let them eat the wrapping paper. The bright holiday colors have no correlation to the taste or nutritional value.

• TIP # 3: FOR AGES 3 to 11 - Get them anything that is geared for a kid at least 2 years older than they are provided it is gender appropriate and NOT CLOTHING or anything remotely useful or practical.  A new shirt is not a gift.  A Nintendo DS game is.

• TIP # 4:  FOR AGES 12 to 18 - At the mid to high end of this range, you may actually get away with clothing and accessories as gifts, especially if the child in question has discovered the opposite sex and desires to impress them by looking and smelling somewhat stylish and presentable.  At the low end of this age group music, video games, sports equipment, and gadgets may be your best bet.  HINT: Ask!  They know what they want.  Get a few ideas so you can still surprise them (but from a pool of good choices).

• TIP # 5: FOR AGES 18 AND ABOVE - Give them cash, and hope they will use some of it to buy you a gift for a change!

Whether you follow these tips or not, good luck with your holiday shopping and have fun (and keep a few books around as backup gifts!)

What do you think?  Any gift giving tips you would like to add?  Please share your thoughts in the comments!

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 20, Ethan, 18 and Olivia, 17).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

Photo Credit: © ioannis kounadeas - Fotolia.com

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The song “When She Loved Me” by Sarah Mclachlan was the perfect choice for this amazing scene. I think all parents feel the same way about this scene and the Toy Story series. I catch myself leaving it on in the minivan even when I don’t have any of the rugrats with me just because it’s a comforting and edifying sound to me. I know I will feel extra sad once the three year old gets over her immense love for Buzz, Woody and the gang just like her two older brothers did.

So, this Christmas we will lavish all three with more toys and know that all too soon they will grow tired of them and abandon them and continue to grow up. Some toys eventually become donations, others broken and tossed away and the most beloved ones wind up in the attic. There’s nothing we can do about it either. All we can do is try to enjoy the ride while it lasts.