From the mundane to the major, one of the things I have had to grapple with over the seven months since my wife passed is that I really no longer have a single sounding board to just talk through issues or hear myself say them out loud.

I recently posted on my Single Dad blog about missing this aspect of a relationship.

The current conundrum is an important decision.  The good news is no matter what I do, I am OK, but still I’d love to make the right decision.  Yeah, there are a lot of people I can seek out and opinions I can get.  But there is not really anyone who knows the intimacy of living in my house and how things go.  And that’s what’s missing.

I even remember a moment when I was dealing with an issue of similar gravity a year ago, and I sat in my wife’s hospice room and talked to her.  At the time she was non-communicative and I am not sure if she even heard me or understood what I was saying.  But it helped to just say it out loud and hear the issues and run through the possible solutions.

So for now, I’ll take this one on myself-spend the day (or the weekend) over analyzing and then jumping forward with what I am sure will be the right course.


  1. I totally get where you’re coming from.

    At least once a day I run through various thoughts to gain clarity with my loved one. As a result, when I step forward or make a decision I feel incredibly sure footed.

    The funny thing is for the first half of my marriage I didn’t really value this incredible gift. I used to go off half-cocked and make various ‘executive decisions’ without really considering my wife’s wisdom.

    I would only share my ideas to gain approval, and if my wife didn’t respond faviourably I’d feel offended. I’ve now learnt to value her truth, regardless of whether it ‘agrees’ with my ideas.

    Knowing the value and joy of this intimate sounding board, if something happened to my wife, I’m not sure if I could remain a ‘single dad’ for long.

    I take my hat off to all you single dads (and mums) doing an amazing job without this kind of support.


  2. Dad the Single Guy

    Thanks Luma for the comment.

    I have to admit, I did not realize what I had until it wasn’t there-and event then it took a while.

  3. Hi there, just striving aunord several weblogs, appears an excellent platform you’re making use of. I’m at found utilizing Hubpages for a few of my personal web-sites even so trying to transform one amongst these individuals onto a new system much like the one you have as a tryout operate. Everything especially you’ll recommend concerning this?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *