Everyone has family secrets…things that all the relatives know, but are better left unsaid outside the family circle. The worse family secrets are the ones we label as the “skeletons in the closet” – the things we truly dread anyone ever finding out about.

No Bones About It…

Not all family secrets are bad. In fact, if you believe that knowledge is power, then sharing a “secret” with your kids can be a special bonding experience and a great way to demonstrate your trust in them. Sharing special secrets with your kids can empower them with a sense of family, trust and belonging that nobody can take away from them. Plus, it is just plain fun to share something special only with your kids.

A good secret to share with your kids can be as simple as trusting them with an alarm code, or the combination to a lock, or some other bit of important information, as long as it is clear that the “secret” is not to be shared with anyone… not even a best friend, girlfriend or boyfriend.

Give Me A Hand(shake)

My personal favorite family secret is that my kids and I have a secret handshake!  We created it more than 10 years ago, and to this day all three of my now young adult kids can whip through the motions whenever our hands connect.  It has been our special secret for all these years, and except for their mom, who insisted on being brought “into the fold” we have NEVER taught anyone our secret grip (which is complete with a top secret sequence of finger twists and an elaborate array of wrist wraps, and fist bumps.)  When we show it off to mere mortals, we move our fingers and hands so fast and with such practiced skill that nobody could ever repeat what they saw us do without our instruction.  It is an awesome handshake and it is guaranteed to make us smile whenever we use it.

Do you have a secret handshake or other “secrets” you like to share with only your kids?  Without rattling the skeletons in the closet, feel free to share some of your family secrets with us in the comments!

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 17).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.