This is cross-posted from Dad The Single Guy because I think the audience here will have a different take on this one:
While it sounds simple, for the last 18 months or so I’ve tried to focus on getting day-to-day for me and the girls, and along the way doing the best I can to make today better than yesterday. Â And I’ve tried to help the girls understand this philosophy and implement it in their day-to-day as well. Â Along the way there have been successes and failures. Â By my rough count-we come out ahead though; more wins than losses.
I paid my doctor a visit yesterday-it has been a while, and as I was giving the nurse the updates on my history, I told her I was now widowed and we discussed that briefly. Â A little later in the discourse came the discussion of , “What meds do you take?”
I am not one to take meds needlessly.  In fact, even when the girls are sick, if it’s just a cold I really don’t medicate them, and almost never give them antibiotics.  It’s a personal choice.  So, when she asked me what meds I was on, I answered Zyrtec for my allergies.  Her response was, “Are you sure?”
I was pretty sure, so I asked her if she had anything good I could try.  She then told me she was expecting me to say some course of antidepressants.  And I was taken aback by that.  I’ve never even thought about needing that.  It’s just never been a part of my thought process.  Mind you, I am in weekly therapy, and the girls between school and private go twice a week-and yet I just have never even thought about it.
Which made me ask if she thought I needed it.  Her response was, “Men are good at hiding their emotions anyway.”  I am barely in my doctor’s office once a year, so there is no real way the nurse there would know my baseline, so I let the whole conversation slide-but it does make me think…
Am I too focused on the moment? Â Is it time to start thinking about tomorrow and next week and pull the focus away from what is happening now?
There is a good case to be built for that-for too long my focus has been on making sure today is a good day that we are missing out on what is ahead; not taking advantage of all there is.
But that said, there is still so much complexity in the here and now that I don’t think in total we would be doing as well without focusing on it.
So onward we go, perhaps over simplified-but when all is said and one, today will be better than yesterday.
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This doesn’t surprise me at all about getting asked about medication. I am with you on avoiding them. As a best man for a friend’s wedding one of my duties was to keep a zantac readily available for him! I had a real conversation with another friend this weekend where I asked, “Do you think I struggle with depression, or do I actually have good reason to be depressed once in awhile?” I’m not so sure that there’s an easy answer for that. Mourning a loss, raising kids on your own, maintaining a household independently, there’s a lot that can bring you down. Do we need meds for that though? Doesn’t that just cover up the spiritual growth that comes from the experience? Keep moving forward, my friend!
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I am right there with you Ray. I think if I (or anyone else for that matter) had huge mood swings and peaks and valleys it would be one thing. But a little depression is part of the mix of emotions that are life. Its like kids getting a cold. Its a bit PITA at the time, but in the long run it helps.
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Happy Friendship day sms