Calm down fellas, this is not going to be an expose about your favorite Showtime series. This is going to be a quick look at a four letter word that parents and kids should make themselves comfortable with and use much more frequently.
NOT ALL FOUR LETTER WORDS ARE BAD
The late, great George Carlin was a brilliant linguist and a master of manipulating language to reveal words for their most comic and socially relevant meaning. Of his infamous “seven words you can never say on television” at least five of them are actual four letter words and words that would clearly fall into the category of “dirty words” that you would not want to hear coming forth from the pouty pristine lips of your darling child. But kids love four letter words. Four letter words like “FART” and “POOP” are staples in the lexicon of little ones from five to fifteen (not to mention a few of us approaching fifty.) Those words are fun to say aloud and not nearly as offensive as Mr. Carlin’s sinister seven, but neither of them are the word I am here to mention today.
AND THE SECRET WORD IS…
L O V E. Love is a four letter word that is often underutilized by parents and children alike, yet that simple word can add meaning and substance to even the most mundane conversation. I don’t know exactly when or how it actually started, but for many years now I’ve noticed that my own kids typically end their conversations with me by saying “I love you.” They do this over the phone, in person, and even in text and IM messages (in which case it often becomes “luv u” or “I <3 u”). They do this after longer conversations, and even after a brief sentence or two. At first I was taken aback, and didn’t know how to respond. Of course I knew they loved me, but did they have to say it all the time? What was I suppose to do? And then one day, I figured it out. What I was supposed to do was to return the favor and say it right back to them. I tried it: “I love you too.” There, that was easy. And it felt good. And it makes them feel good. So now, saying “I love you” is something we do every day and often many times a day. Surprisingly, it never gets old or repetitive. In fact, it seems to get better and better all the time. I think that is because we mean it when we say it!
ALL YOU NEED IS…
Love is such a simple word you would think it could be easily abused. However it is much stronger and more resilient than that. It is also contagious! I am very fortunate and can say that I had a great childhood. I really did. However, when I think back upon my happy days of youth, I don’t have very strong memories of my parents using the “L” word with me. Even as an adult, talking on the phone with my parents typically ended with a simple “bye.” That is, until I started doing to them what my own kids did to me. I started ending every conversation with “I love you,” and sure enough, it worked. After just a few short calls I noticed that my parents were now saying “I love you” to me. And guess what? I like it! It makes me feel good, and I am pretty certain it makes them feel good too.
USE IT OR LOSE IT!
Try it. Don’t be shy. Start saying “I love you” to those you really do love. Don’t save it for a special occasion or a rainy day. Don’t worry about over using it, or wearing it thin, because you can’t! Teach your kids to be comfortable saying it, and say it to them to give them comfort. Make sure it is the one four letter word everyone in your family knows!
What do you think? Share the love and leave a comment!
Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 20, Ethan, 18 and Olivia, 17). He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast. You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.
Photo Credit: Saniphoto – Fotolia.com
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Great article Jeff.
I still remember my father using this four letter word when he spoke on the day I got married, and like you, he was saying it was a word we needed to hear more of. Thanks for sharing that.
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Great article Jeff.
I still remember my father using this four letter word when he spoke on the day I got married, and like you, he was saying it was a word we needed to hear more of. Thanks for sharing that.
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Glad Chris B and all you others started this blog. This is a great post, esp. for dads to read. I just say I love you to my kids all the time, from my heart, but it’s become force of habit – and they say back to me too. So hubs also picked up the habit. The result? kids who know without any question that their parents are totally and always on their side, with love 🙂
Thanks guys! keep up the good work.
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Glad Chris B and all you others started this blog. This is a great post, esp. for dads to read. I just say I love you to my kids all the time, from my heart, but it’s become force of habit – and they say back to me too. So hubs also picked up the habit. The result? kids who know without any question that their parents are totally and always on their side, with love 🙂
Thanks guys! keep up the good work.
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Very Nice. My father alway’s told me and my siblings this and as a result, I say it (and mean it) to my son’s all the time. It is how I feel and they say it back (just as I did to my Dad) because I beleive it’s how they feel. It’s important to let them know early on that it’s perfectly fine to say and mean the “L” word.
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Very Nice. My father alway’s told me and my siblings this and as a result, I say it (and mean it) to my son’s all the time. It is how I feel and they say it back (just as I did to my Dad) because I beleive it’s how they feel. It’s important to let them know early on that it’s perfectly fine to say and mean the “L” word.
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Thanks for sharing your comments, and glad to hear many others are happily engaged with the L word! Love ya!
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Thanks for sharing your comments, and glad to hear many others are happily engaged with the L word! Love ya!
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This is a good post. We were loved as kids, and both Dad and Mum told us this. And now, my beautiful half and I tell it to our kids all the time.
It is with purpose though. Our love blossoms for our children. It grows. But it’s nurtured. We are active in our love. Experiencing things together. Guiding our children. Growing together as husband and wife. Growing together as a family. Building individual relationships with each child. Watching as they grow. Seeing characteristics passed on, and characteristics new.
Thanks Jeff for sparking more thought and conversation!
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This is a good post. We were loved as kids, and both Dad and Mum told us this. And now, my beautiful half and I tell it to our kids all the time.
It is with purpose though. Our love blossoms for our children. It grows. But it’s nurtured. We are active in our love. Experiencing things together. Guiding our children. Growing together as husband and wife. Growing together as a family. Building individual relationships with each child. Watching as they grow. Seeing characteristics passed on, and characteristics new.
Thanks Jeff for sparking more thought and conversation!
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I totally love George Carlin!
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I totally love George Carlin!
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This is so true! Saying i love you goes a long way! Me and my sister are going through a tough time and she is pregnant. I dont know how long its been since she told me that she loves me and it is causing all this grief, i love her dearly and wish i had the loving sister i once had, when she saw me i heard “SeEeESSTTEr aww i love you ” (with a great big warming hug) <3