11 Comments


  1. Loved this, Jeffrey… thanks for pointing it out!

    (Although this line did make me cringe slightly….”To become a great Dad there are two women you need/Your mom, and the woman who’s the mom of your seeds.” Trying to find another words that rhymes with “need” that is a little more… well, eloquent: “…the woman who puts up with your deeds? Whose advice children heed? Who mothers your half-breeds?” Still thinking….)

    ; )


  2. Loved this, Jeffrey… thanks for pointing it out!

    (Although this line did make me cringe slightly….”To become a great Dad there are two women you need/Your mom, and the woman who’s the mom of your seeds.” Trying to find another words that rhymes with “need” that is a little more… well, eloquent: “…the woman who puts up with your deeds? Whose advice children heed? Who mothers your half-breeds?” Still thinking….)

    ; )


  3. Ann, join the club! LOL. I spent HOURS trying to improve that line, but I could not do better, and I wanted to make that point (and I do often, jokingly, of course, refer to my offspring as my “seeds…”) LOL. What else could I do? Kids rhymes with “yids” but my kids were baptized… Children rhymes with.. NOTHING! Child rhymes with “mild” and “wild,” neither of which fits the bill. So… revoke my creative license if you must. I did what I had to do! 😉


  4. Ann, join the club! LOL. I spent HOURS trying to improve that line, but I could not do better, and I wanted to make that point (and I do often, jokingly, of course, refer to my offspring as my “seeds…”) LOL. What else could I do? Kids rhymes with “yids” but my kids were baptized… Children rhymes with.. NOTHING! Child rhymes with “mild” and “wild,” neither of which fits the bill. So… revoke my creative license if you must. I did what I had to do! 😉


  5. Jeff,
    Good job. Enjoyed the prose, and even more so knowing that you created it with joy.

    More men should attempt poetry.


  6. Jeff,
    Good job. Enjoyed the prose, and even more so knowing that you created it with joy.

    More men should attempt poetry.


  7. Love the poem!

    In response to Ann’s comment, how about “and the woman who cleans up after your kids have peed”? 🙂


  8. Love the poem!

    In response to Ann’s comment, how about “and the woman who cleans up after your kids have peed”? 🙂


  9. Thanks Todd and Kim! At Ann’s inspiration, maybe we should turn this into a contest to find the best line to follow,

    “To become a great Dad there are two women you need,
    Your mom, and …. ”

    😉


  10. Thanks Todd and Kim! At Ann’s inspiration, maybe we should turn this into a contest to find the best line to follow,

    “To become a great Dad there are two women you need,
    Your mom, and …. ”

    😉


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