Welcome to my regular Friday feature, Worst of the Week. As a white, suburbanite husband and dad of two kids, there’s a lot that can go wrong and this entry is all about how to fix it. I hope you enjoy it!

Well it was just a matter of time – Patrick, my eight year old, is now getting junk mail. It all started Tuesday when he received an oversized manila envelope from Canton. Ohio. It looked very official and was thick with material. I opened it to find a few different things:

1) A nice full color brochure featuring a “Quartz Infrared Portable Heater”.
2) A 4 page professional letter from the Director of Product Development telling Mr. Patrick Marshall that he could save 50% on heating bills this winter.
3) Testimonials from satisfied customers.
4) A Fact Sheet of the featured product.
5) An Authorized Discount Claim Form.
6) A return envelope.

OK, first things first, it didn’t bother me that he got the mail. I have signed up Patrick for at least two magazines in his name (Highlights and Sports Illustrated for Kids) and I know that magazines sell the names they collect to companies that deal in such business practices. But it just looked out of place. I could see him getting a toy catalog or an ad for Zoo Books or something like that but a portable space heater accompanied by all this paper just seemed a bit much. So I decided to give the Customer Service number a call to see what I could find out.

I told the first woman my situation and said that she would take his name off the list. Fine. Good. I fully expected that, but how was he put on the list in the first place? She quickly gave me a number to someone else in CS. BTW, she couldn’t transfer me. Give me a break.

The second guy was much more helpful and told me that he and the first woman I spoke to was just a phone bank to answer overflow calls that the company couldn’t answer right away. This is not uncommon. Many companies can handle only so many calls and do need to outsource support. Anyway, he put me in direct contact with a person at the company.

That guy was empathetic to my inquiries and he too understood as a parent the importance of protecting children. As he was digging we both were wondering if Patrick was the victim of identity theft. It turned out that wasn’t the case – thank goodness. We did find out that one of our relatives bought Patrick one of those commemorative coins (a few years ago) in his name. This company bought the list of buyers and with it came full names and addresses. That’s how we received their package.

Patrick’s name is taken off the list but his name is still floating out there, somewhere. It’s 99% impossible to stop now. I wonder how many times his name has been bought and sold in his short life.

The moral, if any, is to be careful and conscious as to what you sign your kids up for with their information.