About Two years ago, when I was out shopping, I ran across an amazing rocking unicorn.  If you squeezed its ear, it came to life.  The head bobbed, the mouth moved, and it made horse sounds.  There was the clip-clop of hooves and a good, spirited neigh.  I was captivated by the thought of my little girl, then about three and a half, perched on top of this magnificent plush toy.  It was on sale, and I was weak.

I was also not thinking straight.  First off, my daughter was too small for any such toy.  It as a good year and a half before she was large enough to sit on it safely.  Secondly, and more importantly, I bought the thing because I thought it was cool, and without thinking about how she would like it.  Katie hates toys that talk or move.  She goes into hysterics over walking robots and shaking ghost-things at Halloween.  She’d growing out of that now, but at the time, if I’d given it the slightest thought, I’d have realized what was going to happen.

The $100 plus toy came home.  We showed it to Katie.  She was mildly amused and rubbed its nose.  Then we pushed the button in the thing’s ear, and it came to life.  She hated it.  We turned it off.  Her brother and sister, of course, would from time to time turn it on because they thought her reaction was funny.  I left it in her room, still clinging to my image of the little princess hugging the neck of her plush steed, but over the years she never liked it.  When it came time to decide what toys we’d take to donate to needy children, she offered him up almost with relief. That was this year.

The lesson, of course, is a simple one.  Don’t buy toys for your children that you think are cool unless they think they are cool as well.  Don’t project yourself onto them, but allow them to grow and guide them when you can.

The best gifts come through understanding your child.  Parents have to learn too.

-DNW