Before I get to the point(s) of this post I figure I ought to introduce myself. My name is Dave Brodbeck, I live in Sault Ste. Marie, ON Canada where I work as a professor of psychology at Algoma University (go Thunderbirds!) Much more importantly, I have an awesome family, I am married and I have two kids, one is 15 and one is 7, the 7 year old boy has autism, which, segues nicely into the actual point of this post.
We found out that our son has autism when he was about 3 years old. Now, there were suspicions, and I think most of those suspicions came from my wife, not from the guy in the family that has a PhD in psychology. Our son seemed so different from our daughter. He was not talking. He was not looking us in the eyes, he was loving, but in a different way. He seemed less interested in hugs and such. Of course the standard reaction is “well, of course they are different, one is a girl, and one is a boyâ€Â. This resonated with me, as I know there are developmental differences between boys and girls, especially in language. Looking back, the biggest signs were his repetitive behavior (things such as flapping his arms) his covering of his ears when he got upset, and his love of patterns. He would watch videos, but would much rather look at the credits over and over than the content of the movie. I have this great picture of him lining up chess pieces at the age of two, from tallest to shortest. Now these things individually seem maybe a little odd, and frankly kind of cute, but taken together they should have raised more red flags in my mind. The repetitiveness, the lack of communication, the self stimulation (arm flapping) and the need for order are classic symptoms of autism.
Now we eventually got a diagnosis from a neurologist, which allowed us to get government support and allowed our son, once he started school, to have a full time educational assistant in the classroom. We found out later than I would have liked (you may be able to recognize these signs as early as 18 months) but finding out helped our boy a great deal. The support from the province pays for a once a week trip out with a few other autistic kids in town and a couple of great caregivers.
He is doing very well in school, he reads, writes, does his math addition and subtraction (with some coaxing) he has friends and gets on well with the kids in his class. Oh, and he loves his computer that runs Ubuntu (I forgot to mention that his father is a bit of a geek..) and can beat his Dad at Halo 2… He is an amazing kid, and he is a hell of a challenge.
So, why am I telling you this? Well if you see signs like this, have your child checked out. The earlier you can get a diagnosis, the earlier you can get help, and get the appropriate therapy for your kid. I also want you to know that if you do have a kid with autism, it is not your fault. Parental behavior does not predict the occurrence of autism. In future posts I will talk about dealing with the diagnosis and about being an advocate for your child. However, I am starting to ramble, so I ought to wrap this one up.
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Dave, I have a nephew with autism. He is 13 and doing great in an Indianapolis public school. My sister knew something was wrong from age two but their pediatrician kept saying his behavior was “normal.” It took over a year for my sister and her husband to get a diagnosis; A whole year of early intervention lost.
My advice to parents: if you get that gut feeling that something isn’t right with your child, get a second opinion. Trust your gut and instincts – your child deserves that from you.
Katherine
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Dave, I have a nephew with autism. He is 13 and doing great in an Indianapolis public school. My sister knew something was wrong from age two but their pediatrician kept saying his behavior was “normal.” It took over a year for my sister and her husband to get a diagnosis; A whole year of early intervention lost.
My advice to parents: if you get that gut feeling that something isn’t right with your child, get a second opinion. Trust your gut and instincts – your child deserves that from you.
Katherine
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Thanks for sharing this. My son has an ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder), Aspergers Syndrome. He was diagnosed at age 5. He is now 13. His mother noticed many of these symptoms when he was under the age of 2, but the doctors kept saying he was just a little behind. He’d catch up!
It wasn’t until he finally went into Kindergarten that they started taking her concerns seriously (and she went to multiple doctors, but ASDs were still not often diagnosed in the mid-90s). My son (who I call CT online or Cool Teen because that’s what he likes to call himself), loves computers, technology and is obsessed with video games. Getting him to do school work is a major challenge, especially now that he is in 8th Grade. He’s so smart though and since we home school him, he’s getting a much better education.
It can be really frustrating knowing how smart he is and having him fight to do things like school work, or even common every day things people take for granted like running his bath water for himself, brushing his teeth and picking out his own clothes. He’s very friendly though and likes to interact with people, especially all of the other kids in our neighborhood.
When he was little he also flapped his arms/hands. He used to be obsessed with collecting pamphlets and organized them excessively. He also loved (and still loves) TV Guides. Before he could even talk he had the TV Guide memorized. If you wanted to watch anything, you could just ask him and he’d turn on the television to the right channel! CT doesn’t always maintain eye contact (though socialization classes for kids with ASDs have worked on that), he has trouble concentrating on things he’s not obsessed with for extended periods of time, and he doesn’t understand how to laugh properly (something we’ve noticed is if he finds something funny, he laughs hysterically to the point of where it is done obnoxiously). It just baffles me that the doctors didn’t notice anything unusual about his behavior when he was little!
I find when he’s off medication he returns to the flapping and OCD/pattern based behavior. He also will get excited, grip his hands together and shake. As he has become a teenager, we’ve also noticed other unusual behaviors and that led to a second diagnosis of Bipolar. This has been very hard to treat because the medicine that helps his Aspergers amplifies his Bipolar and vice versa. Now he’s taking something to combat both and days have been much easier.
With Aspergers he’s very awkward socially. With Bipolar he thinks its hilarious to be inappropriate, especially in public. Luckily, his medicine now has made him rational enough to know better (though some days we’re still working on what is appropriate – but he’s also 13, so some of that is being 13). This is the one thing that worries me, about him being around others that are teens. When he wasn’t being medicated for Bipolar, he’d come home and tell us how the teens in the neighborhood would make him say “bad words” because it was so funny and made them laugh. He knew it was wrong but the Bipolar in him thought it was great and why not take it a step further? No more incidents occur with his medication now and we also monitor where he goes closely. He also sees a psychologist regularly, who is working on behavioral modification.
If you think your child may be autistic or have an ASD, please don’t let a doctor tell you different. You know your child best and early intervention is key. Because CT wasn’t diagnosed until age 5, we’re dealing with a lot of things we wish we could have worked on when he was little. He acts at least 6-7 years younger than he is, and early intervention could have ensured he’d be more on his own age level. I love my son though so all the extra work is incredibly worth it!
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Thanks for sharing this. My son has an ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder), Aspergers Syndrome. He was diagnosed at age 5. He is now 13. His mother noticed many of these symptoms when he was under the age of 2, but the doctors kept saying he was just a little behind. He’d catch up!
It wasn’t until he finally went into Kindergarten that they started taking her concerns seriously (and she went to multiple doctors, but ASDs were still not often diagnosed in the mid-90s). My son (who I call CT online or Cool Teen because that’s what he likes to call himself), loves computers, technology and is obsessed with video games. Getting him to do school work is a major challenge, especially now that he is in 8th Grade. He’s so smart though and since we home school him, he’s getting a much better education.
It can be really frustrating knowing how smart he is and having him fight to do things like school work, or even common every day things people take for granted like running his bath water for himself, brushing his teeth and picking out his own clothes. He’s very friendly though and likes to interact with people, especially all of the other kids in our neighborhood.
When he was little he also flapped his arms/hands. He used to be obsessed with collecting pamphlets and organized them excessively. He also loved (and still loves) TV Guides. Before he could even talk he had the TV Guide memorized. If you wanted to watch anything, you could just ask him and he’d turn on the television to the right channel! CT doesn’t always maintain eye contact (though socialization classes for kids with ASDs have worked on that), he has trouble concentrating on things he’s not obsessed with for extended periods of time, and he doesn’t understand how to laugh properly (something we’ve noticed is if he finds something funny, he laughs hysterically to the point of where it is done obnoxiously). It just baffles me that the doctors didn’t notice anything unusual about his behavior when he was little!
I find when he’s off medication he returns to the flapping and OCD/pattern based behavior. He also will get excited, grip his hands together and shake. As he has become a teenager, we’ve also noticed other unusual behaviors and that led to a second diagnosis of Bipolar. This has been very hard to treat because the medicine that helps his Aspergers amplifies his Bipolar and vice versa. Now he’s taking something to combat both and days have been much easier.
With Aspergers he’s very awkward socially. With Bipolar he thinks its hilarious to be inappropriate, especially in public. Luckily, his medicine now has made him rational enough to know better (though some days we’re still working on what is appropriate – but he’s also 13, so some of that is being 13). This is the one thing that worries me, about him being around others that are teens. When he wasn’t being medicated for Bipolar, he’d come home and tell us how the teens in the neighborhood would make him say “bad words” because it was so funny and made them laugh. He knew it was wrong but the Bipolar in him thought it was great and why not take it a step further? No more incidents occur with his medication now and we also monitor where he goes closely. He also sees a psychologist regularly, who is working on behavioral modification.
If you think your child may be autistic or have an ASD, please don’t let a doctor tell you different. You know your child best and early intervention is key. Because CT wasn’t diagnosed until age 5, we’re dealing with a lot of things we wish we could have worked on when he was little. He acts at least 6-7 years younger than he is, and early intervention could have ensured he’d be more on his own age level. I love my son though so all the extra work is incredibly worth it!
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Hey Dominick,
The important thing is that now CT is getting the therapy he needs, good on you and his Mom. I taught a guy with Asperger’s up until last year (he graduated cum laude with an honours psych degree last year). He was not diagnosed until he hit 18. He is now in grad school, which is pretty cool, frankly it is more than pretty cool….
Getting our boy to do some stuff has been a bit of a trial, but recently we started using pretty simple behaviour mod methods. He gets checkmarks when he does something we want (say sleeping in his own bed, or finishing his weekly homework). Ten checks gets him a reward, which currently is McDonald’s (his choice).
I agree with you, the extra work is worth it for sure.
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Hey Dominick,
The important thing is that now CT is getting the therapy he needs, good on you and his Mom. I taught a guy with Asperger’s up until last year (he graduated cum laude with an honours psych degree last year). He was not diagnosed until he hit 18. He is now in grad school, which is pretty cool, frankly it is more than pretty cool….
Getting our boy to do some stuff has been a bit of a trial, but recently we started using pretty simple behaviour mod methods. He gets checkmarks when he does something we want (say sleeping in his own bed, or finishing his weekly homework). Ten checks gets him a reward, which currently is McDonald’s (his choice).
I agree with you, the extra work is worth it for sure.
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Hey Dave! I’ve heard the chart system works for most kids. Unfortunately, CT often responds best to a punishment chart as opposed to reward charts. We tried the reward chart and offered all of his favorite things (even letting him eventually earn video games – something he lost because they have the tendency to make him violent if not heavily monitored). We let him pick what he wanted for a reward (within reason – he wanted Legend of Zelda games but they make him nuts, so that was a no!), but for some reason, it doesn’t click in his brain that he has to actually behave to get those things he wants.
We have a chart with twenty spaces per day. Various bad behaviors get checks. Some offenses get more checks than others. Like schoolwork is a check per subject not completed, and sneaking out of the house gets three checks because it is a more serious offense. Days with no checks get a smiley face for the day. He has two weeks to fill the chart (ten per day). If he gets ten or more checks per week he loses something for 1 week. These are things like TV time, time outside playing with the kids in the neighborhood (something he is almost always willing to behave for), computer game time, etc. If he gets 20 or more checks per week, he loses those same things for two weeks. He likes his smiley faces because one smiley will erase a check mark from another day. So far, he’s had marks but has only lost one thing for one week.
We also have a competition going on. We live with my mother-in-law, who helps take care of him while we work. She is a very opinionated woman and is just learning to use the internet. CT has been dying for his own blog. His mother and I agree that he’ll benefit greatly from having a way to express himself and writing/typing seems to help him get his feelings out. Well, I had a URL I wasn’t using much, put a wordpress on it, and his Nana and him are competing for who gets the blog. If he does his homework, listens, and overall behaves it’s his and we’ll be teaching him all about running a blog as a business (something he’d be excellent at). If he isn’t on par, well his Nana will be quite popular with all she has to say.
A funny side note, if CT wins (the URL is called everyonehasopinions.com), his Nana will get our other URL we aren’t using (violentandstupid.com). I just think that’s hilarious (I have a love-hate relationship with mom in law!). We originally used it for stupid and violent news, but couldn’t keep up with it. I think it’ll be funny because of the name and her…well I’ll stop while I’m ahead!
Does your son ever run off? CT used to do that when he was little. He would do it in early morning before we woke up. We eventually had to get special locks on our door. Now that he’s older he’s only done it once or twice. He climbed out the window once, but he won’t do that anymore because he realized the window is too high to be comfortable to climb out of. His therapist said it is quite common for autistic children (and kids with ASDs) to run off because they don’t really see the danger in it. Likewise, my best friend from college has a non-verbal autistic brother and he runs off a lot!
He is also very very picky. He is skin and bones and I constantly try to get him to eat. I wish I had half of his metabolism!
It’s amazing how your kids can drive you absolutely nuts and be very trying and yet turn around and you just have this…undying love for them. CT is not my biological son (I have a hereditary muscle disease so I won’t have children of my own ever – my choice), but nobody can ever tell because I don’t see the bloodlines as making me a good father. It’s the love for my child and my desire to help mold him into the best person he can be, Aspergers or not. Anyhow, I look forward to your future posts.
Oh, and that is awesome about the guy with Aspergers you taught getting his Ph D. People just don’t really get how hard it is for these kids to be able to focus and they work their rears off to succeed! I will have to tell CT about that. Hopefully it will inspire him! His mom is in college right now for psychology and he is just in awe of that!
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Hey Dave! I’ve heard the chart system works for most kids. Unfortunately, CT often responds best to a punishment chart as opposed to reward charts. We tried the reward chart and offered all of his favorite things (even letting him eventually earn video games – something he lost because they have the tendency to make him violent if not heavily monitored). We let him pick what he wanted for a reward (within reason – he wanted Legend of Zelda games but they make him nuts, so that was a no!), but for some reason, it doesn’t click in his brain that he has to actually behave to get those things he wants.
We have a chart with twenty spaces per day. Various bad behaviors get checks. Some offenses get more checks than others. Like schoolwork is a check per subject not completed, and sneaking out of the house gets three checks because it is a more serious offense. Days with no checks get a smiley face for the day. He has two weeks to fill the chart (ten per day). If he gets ten or more checks per week he loses something for 1 week. These are things like TV time, time outside playing with the kids in the neighborhood (something he is almost always willing to behave for), computer game time, etc. If he gets 20 or more checks per week, he loses those same things for two weeks. He likes his smiley faces because one smiley will erase a check mark from another day. So far, he’s had marks but has only lost one thing for one week.
We also have a competition going on. We live with my mother-in-law, who helps take care of him while we work. She is a very opinionated woman and is just learning to use the internet. CT has been dying for his own blog. His mother and I agree that he’ll benefit greatly from having a way to express himself and writing/typing seems to help him get his feelings out. Well, I had a URL I wasn’t using much, put a wordpress on it, and his Nana and him are competing for who gets the blog. If he does his homework, listens, and overall behaves it’s his and we’ll be teaching him all about running a blog as a business (something he’d be excellent at). If he isn’t on par, well his Nana will be quite popular with all she has to say.
A funny side note, if CT wins (the URL is called everyonehasopinions.com), his Nana will get our other URL we aren’t using (violentandstupid.com). I just think that’s hilarious (I have a love-hate relationship with mom in law!). We originally used it for stupid and violent news, but couldn’t keep up with it. I think it’ll be funny because of the name and her…well I’ll stop while I’m ahead!
Does your son ever run off? CT used to do that when he was little. He would do it in early morning before we woke up. We eventually had to get special locks on our door. Now that he’s older he’s only done it once or twice. He climbed out the window once, but he won’t do that anymore because he realized the window is too high to be comfortable to climb out of. His therapist said it is quite common for autistic children (and kids with ASDs) to run off because they don’t really see the danger in it. Likewise, my best friend from college has a non-verbal autistic brother and he runs off a lot!
He is also very very picky. He is skin and bones and I constantly try to get him to eat. I wish I had half of his metabolism!
It’s amazing how your kids can drive you absolutely nuts and be very trying and yet turn around and you just have this…undying love for them. CT is not my biological son (I have a hereditary muscle disease so I won’t have children of my own ever – my choice), but nobody can ever tell because I don’t see the bloodlines as making me a good father. It’s the love for my child and my desire to help mold him into the best person he can be, Aspergers or not. Anyhow, I look forward to your future posts.
Oh, and that is awesome about the guy with Aspergers you taught getting his Ph D. People just don’t really get how hard it is for these kids to be able to focus and they work their rears off to succeed! I will have to tell CT about that. Hopefully it will inspire him! His mom is in college right now for psychology and he is just in awe of that!
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Dominick, Do what works best for you that is what I say! I am glad you have found a system. I love the blogging idea, excellent. He surely needs to express himself, and those are great URLs! (I swear, I do not normally use this many exclamation points!)
Our son has never taken off. If he did, how would he watch yourtube or play video games? When he gets up in the morning he gets himself a drink of milk or juice and then goes and messes about with his computer and his PS2 or his father’s old xBox (he is not allowed to touch my 360, and is pretty good about that).
As far as eating, he either loves stuff at a level that is a sight to see, or he does not like stuff at all. That said, I am much the same way. He is especially fond of pizza, burgers and chicken. The skin on the chicken especially. One day I took a chicken out of the oven, let it out to rest you know, while making other stuff, I turned around and he had eaten all of the skin….
On a side note, I actually do think I may have a (very) mild case of autism. It is true that scientists are six times more likely to have an autistic kid than the general population, and well, that is what I do. I have a real love of patterns, I get obsessed with stuff, indeed, when I was 8 I memorized all of the flags of the world, all capitals, all the highest mountains and all the units of money for every country. I guess I would not call it autism per se, but I have milder forms of many of the behaviours. As autism and ASDs in general seem to be caused by many genes this does not really surprise me. Stil, when he was diagnosed I took a look at my own behaviour and thought, hmmmmmm…
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Dominick, Do what works best for you that is what I say! I am glad you have found a system. I love the blogging idea, excellent. He surely needs to express himself, and those are great URLs! (I swear, I do not normally use this many exclamation points!)
Our son has never taken off. If he did, how would he watch yourtube or play video games? When he gets up in the morning he gets himself a drink of milk or juice and then goes and messes about with his computer and his PS2 or his father’s old xBox (he is not allowed to touch my 360, and is pretty good about that).
As far as eating, he either loves stuff at a level that is a sight to see, or he does not like stuff at all. That said, I am much the same way. He is especially fond of pizza, burgers and chicken. The skin on the chicken especially. One day I took a chicken out of the oven, let it out to rest you know, while making other stuff, I turned around and he had eaten all of the skin….
On a side note, I actually do think I may have a (very) mild case of autism. It is true that scientists are six times more likely to have an autistic kid than the general population, and well, that is what I do. I have a real love of patterns, I get obsessed with stuff, indeed, when I was 8 I memorized all of the flags of the world, all capitals, all the highest mountains and all the units of money for every country. I guess I would not call it autism per se, but I have milder forms of many of the behaviours. As autism and ASDs in general seem to be caused by many genes this does not really surprise me. Stil, when he was diagnosed I took a look at my own behaviour and thought, hmmmmmm…
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Dave – That’s pretty funny about the chicken skin! I wish CT would eat burgers. He’s eaten them a few times, but he often acts like it’s going to kill him to finish the burger! He gets this death look about halfway through eating one and starts whimpering like we poisoned him, to which I say, “then why did you ask for a hamburger?!”
He’s really iffy about red meat though. I don’t know about autism in general, but all the parents I’ve spoken to online who don’t have their kid on some weird diet say their Aspergers kids eat exactly what CT eats. His diet consists of lots of chicken tenders, French fries (his favorite food ever), grilled cheese, beef stew minus the beef stew meat (I know, don’t ask!), mac and cheese, orange pop, chicken pasta sides, an occasional taco (he went through this chicken phase – then a beef phase), pizza, pasta w/ marinara, hot dogs, pancakes, and cut up pieces of American cheese. This is an improvement from when he was little when all he ate was grilled cheese, hot dogs, pizza, chicken nuggets and French fries! He’s also now obsessed with olives.
Funny note – CT loves to help cook our food, but won’t try a bite! He sounds a lot like your son in if he likes it he goes nuts over it. On holidays, we used to always have to make him a grilled cheese, but in the last few years, he’s tried corn, turkey (his Nana told him it was chicken and he liked it!), mashed potatoes (he likes non-homemade if we get him to eat any) and he loves rolls. This is a great stride considering five years ago if you asked him to try mashed potatoes he’d have hid under his bed.
I think to be a scientist, you have to be at least a little OCD, if not obsessed with patterns! It makes the job easier. It would be nice to find a definitive cause for autism/ASDs. I think it’d make treating ASDs a lot easier. Of course, that will take time, and with the likelihood of multiple causes, it might be hard to determine how autism was caused in each individual case.
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Dave – That’s pretty funny about the chicken skin! I wish CT would eat burgers. He’s eaten them a few times, but he often acts like it’s going to kill him to finish the burger! He gets this death look about halfway through eating one and starts whimpering like we poisoned him, to which I say, “then why did you ask for a hamburger?!”
He’s really iffy about red meat though. I don’t know about autism in general, but all the parents I’ve spoken to online who don’t have their kid on some weird diet say their Aspergers kids eat exactly what CT eats. His diet consists of lots of chicken tenders, French fries (his favorite food ever), grilled cheese, beef stew minus the beef stew meat (I know, don’t ask!), mac and cheese, orange pop, chicken pasta sides, an occasional taco (he went through this chicken phase – then a beef phase), pizza, pasta w/ marinara, hot dogs, pancakes, and cut up pieces of American cheese. This is an improvement from when he was little when all he ate was grilled cheese, hot dogs, pizza, chicken nuggets and French fries! He’s also now obsessed with olives.
Funny note – CT loves to help cook our food, but won’t try a bite! He sounds a lot like your son in if he likes it he goes nuts over it. On holidays, we used to always have to make him a grilled cheese, but in the last few years, he’s tried corn, turkey (his Nana told him it was chicken and he liked it!), mashed potatoes (he likes non-homemade if we get him to eat any) and he loves rolls. This is a great stride considering five years ago if you asked him to try mashed potatoes he’d have hid under his bed.
I think to be a scientist, you have to be at least a little OCD, if not obsessed with patterns! It makes the job easier. It would be nice to find a definitive cause for autism/ASDs. I think it’d make treating ASDs a lot easier. Of course, that will take time, and with the likelihood of multiple causes, it might be hard to determine how autism was caused in each individual case.
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Dave,
Thanks for this post.
Can you (or another reader) clarify something for me?
Can you definitely rule out autism if your child has no problem showing spontaneous and asked for compassion? IE Hugs when another child is crying.
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Dave,
Thanks for this post.
Can you (or another reader) clarify something for me?
Can you definitely rule out autism if your child has no problem showing spontaneous and asked for compassion? IE Hugs when another child is crying.
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Hi Stu,
I don’t think that rules anything out or in. That said it is a good sign that even if autism is present it may be a high functioning variant. Autism is a spectrum. If you are concerned you should have your child checked out by a pro, a pediatrician, psychologist or psychiatrist.
The behaviour you describe shows normal theory of mind (knowing how others think and react, and knowing what their behaviour means). In more severe cases of autism this is not present. There is a theory actually that the whole disorder is caused by a failed, or poorly working ‘mind reading’ module.
So, in sum, what your describe is a good sign, but if you have concerns, please have your child checked out.
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Hi Stu,
I don’t think that rules anything out or in. That said it is a good sign that even if autism is present it may be a high functioning variant. Autism is a spectrum. If you are concerned you should have your child checked out by a pro, a pediatrician, psychologist or psychiatrist.
The behaviour you describe shows normal theory of mind (knowing how others think and react, and knowing what their behaviour means). In more severe cases of autism this is not present. There is a theory actually that the whole disorder is caused by a failed, or poorly working ‘mind reading’ module.
So, in sum, what your describe is a good sign, but if you have concerns, please have your child checked out.
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Dave,
Thanks for the quick reply.
I’m not really concerned. We’ve had some other difficulties with the kids. We always err on the side of caution, but also I’m careful not to quickly over-diagnose. Our kids all play together and well and have developed in a similar vein so far.
It was a question to pose because we’ve talked about it, and talked with friends, but I wanted to find out from people who have first-hand experience with autism.
Thanks again for replying!
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Dave,
Thanks for the quick reply.
I’m not really concerned. We’ve had some other difficulties with the kids. We always err on the side of caution, but also I’m careful not to quickly over-diagnose. Our kids all play together and well and have developed in a similar vein so far.
It was a question to pose because we’ve talked about it, and talked with friends, but I wanted to find out from people who have first-hand experience with autism.
Thanks again for replying!
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Stu, it is amazing now with all the access to info that we have that you know, sometimes it almost gets in the way eh. BTW, I checked out your blog there, those pics that your kids made are excellent.
My son made one the other day when he heard that I may be going on a trip to a conference. He drew a plane, and then put me in it. For a kid with autism that was pretty neat. I think I will keep that one…. In other news, I beat him in Halo today, retaking my title as family champion….
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Stu, it is amazing now with all the access to info that we have that you know, sometimes it almost gets in the way eh. BTW, I checked out your blog there, those pics that your kids made are excellent.
My son made one the other day when he heard that I may be going on a trip to a conference. He drew a plane, and then put me in it. For a kid with autism that was pretty neat. I think I will keep that one…. In other news, I beat him in Halo today, retaking my title as family champion….
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That’s fantastic about the plane drawing.
And kudos on regaining that crown! Playing Mario Kart and winning is quite hard for me these days 🙂
Also, if you’ve got a spare few minutes, check out http://theplasticdetectives.com. It’s me and the family telling a kid’s story via pictures/voices. Love to hear your opinion on it.
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That’s fantastic about the plane drawing.
And kudos on regaining that crown! Playing Mario Kart and winning is quite hard for me these days 🙂
Also, if you’ve got a spare few minutes, check out http://theplasticdetectives.com. It’s me and the family telling a kid’s story via pictures/voices. Love to hear your opinion on it.
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Hey Stu!
My son is very affectionate, but on his terms. If he wants to give hugs, he will. He really isn’t into people touching him unless he knows them (his nana or mom can go up and hug him without him blinking and he’ll hug back), but if he’s agitated or frustrated he won’t want to be touched.
We kind of leave it open-ended, especially now that he’s becoming a teen and hugging mom and dad isn’t so cool (especially if other kids see it). A few years ago, if you told him go hug ______ goodnight (someone in the family) he’d go do it, and it wouldn’t bother him.
He also is a spontaneous toucher. He has very sensitive senses, but he’ll rub your shoulder, or pat your arm if he thinks you need a little boost in your day. We have taught him not to do that to strangers because 1.) if they touched him back he’d freak out 2.) it’s not polite to do that.
When he was little he had the belief in his mind that his personal space was his and if you invaded it…look out! But, he didn’t seem to grasp that his invading other people’s space is not really fun! He’s a lot better about that now, but every once in a while we’ll have to still remind him.
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Hey Stu!
My son is very affectionate, but on his terms. If he wants to give hugs, he will. He really isn’t into people touching him unless he knows them (his nana or mom can go up and hug him without him blinking and he’ll hug back), but if he’s agitated or frustrated he won’t want to be touched.
We kind of leave it open-ended, especially now that he’s becoming a teen and hugging mom and dad isn’t so cool (especially if other kids see it). A few years ago, if you told him go hug ______ goodnight (someone in the family) he’d go do it, and it wouldn’t bother him.
He also is a spontaneous toucher. He has very sensitive senses, but he’ll rub your shoulder, or pat your arm if he thinks you need a little boost in your day. We have taught him not to do that to strangers because 1.) if they touched him back he’d freak out 2.) it’s not polite to do that.
When he was little he had the belief in his mind that his personal space was his and if you invaded it…look out! But, he didn’t seem to grasp that his invading other people’s space is not really fun! He’s a lot better about that now, but every once in a while we’ll have to still remind him.
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Dominick,
That’s really cool to know. Sounds like you guys are making wise decisions, and being awesome parents.
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Dominick,
That’s really cool to know. Sounds like you guys are making wise decisions, and being awesome parents.
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