I have worked for 14 years in consulting, managed projects of over 50,000 man-days of effort, run teams of 90+ people including some off-shore, and have been through some tense projects.  So the first time my wife left me home alone with my three boys, I figured (to quote City Slickers) “Scoop of chocolate, scoop of vanilla, don’t waste my time.” 

I have always appreciated what my wife goes through at home, from shuttling around the kids to school, soccer practice, basketball practice, doctor’s appointments, working part time, you name it.  With me being on the road a few days a week and three kids at home, she is a trooper to say the least – I think daily about how she sacrifices herself to keep our household running.  The moral of the story before even starting – take a moment to appreciate how much moms go through raising young kids.  I hope I never take that for granted.

My kids are a little older now, but a couple years ago I captured in an email to a friend what it was like to be left alone with the boys (then ages 5, 3 and 3-4 months, respectively).  I tried to keep a Bill Simmons-like journal of the evening, while my wife was out to a well deserved dinner with friends. 

• 5:30pm – Mom says a quick goodbye just before the baby starts to cry, leaves while two older boys are playing quietly with legos in the playroom.
• 5:32 – Garage door closes.  Kid #3 dozing comfortably in the baby swing.
• 5:35 - #2 decides to destroy #1’s elaborate space station creation.  World War III ensues. I jump in to intervene before #3 wakes up, but am moments too late.
• 5:45 – Kids calm again, now watching one of their shows on Tivo.  At this point I thank numerous divine influences for allowing Tivo to be invented.  #3 spits up over everything.  I think he’s left his “mark” on every article of clothing I own.
• 5:52 - #3 changed, but cranky when he is put down.  He is now attached to my arm for the rest of the night.  Who needs the gym when you can carry your kids around for hours on end.
• 6:02 – Microwave chicken nuggets complete, two plates at once in the microwave.  Feeling pretty good so far. I am a multi-tasking machine – eat your heart out Michael Keaton.
• 6:10 – Both older boys kicking each other on the couch, I skillfully disrupt war with one hand and still manage to keep #3’s pacifier in.
• 6:15 - #1 and #2 sit down for dinner and immediately complain about cold chicken nuggets.
• 6:16 – Reheat complete.
• 6:30 – Debate about bath versus shower ensues.  #1 adamantly votes for bath.  #2 says shower.  I suggest shower quickly, so we can play soccer with a nerf soccer ball in our bedroom.  #1 agrees.  #2 now wants a bath.
• 6:44 – Showers complete, pajamas on, teeth brushed, hair brushed.  I’m living large and have the first official “I can totally do this” thought.
• 6:48 – #2 takes the soccer ball away from #1 right before #1 is going to score a goal.  Meltdown in five… four… three…
• 6:49 – CODE RED CODE RED – suddenly all kids are crying at once.  I am not sure why the baby is crying, another full diaper?
• 6:55 – Indoor soccer game canceled, both kids in #2’s bed ready for reading books. I start reading one of the books -#3 is still on my arm.  One of two major highlights of the night:  #3 is staring at me like eyes WIDE open like the scene in the Blair Witch Project.  He actually starts cooing and making happy noises as my intonation changes.  Amazing what Dr. Seuss can do to a baby.
• 7:16 - #2 lights out, we head to #1’s room.  #3 is happily enjoying the show.
• 7:19 - #2 needs to pee.  Second highlight of the night: #1 looks at me holding #3, says “I’ll help him, dad,” gets up out of bed and heads out of the room to go help #2 in the bathroom.  I’m smiling ear to ear.
• 7:35 - #1 out cold.  #2 out cold.  #3 out cold, still on my arm.  I get the Tivo remote, the phone, Sports Illustrated and crash with #3 on the couch.  <sigh>
• 9:40 – Mom arrives home to sink full of dishes, legos and other toys everywhere, me sleeping on the couch, #3 sleeping in my arms and wet thru his diaper.

Piece of cake.

Adam Cohen is the proud dad of 3 boys, a fan of all sports in New England, and a partner at interactive marketing agency Rosetta.  He keeps a professional blog at http://adamhcohen.com and is a contributor to the Boston sports blog http://bigpapelbon.com.  Adam is also on twitter – drop by and say hello.