Dropping a cross post from my Dad the Single Guy blog because I think this audience would have some thoughts on this too:
I’ve never been one (or at least I hope I have not been one) to look for help unless I am truly out of options and just can’t figure out a problem or issue. Â This is especially true when it comes to parenting and raising my kids. Â Beyond a sense of responsibility, I think I owe it to them to just figure it out.
Sometimes the answer is asking for help-and with some reluctance on my part I have become more willing to do that.
But then came aÂ blog post a friend shared via Twitter and on Facebook entitled “Sacrificial Lambs: How We Are Destroying Our Children” and it got me thinking. Â The blog (and please do read it for yourself and not just accept my thoughts) basically outlines how schools, social services andÂ third-partyÂ support have allowed the nation’s poorest children to slip through the cracks.
I am not questioning the reasoning or the information presented by Peter Cookson. Â I do take issue with the fact that Mr. Cookson (whom I’ve never met or read anything else from) thinks the problem can be fixed through social change-in effect change the “system” and change the outlook.
That just can’t be. Â Certainly there are things that can be done. Families should not have to live pay-check to pay-check at the poverty line. Â But they should be the first-and only line of defense in the well-beingÂ of their children. Â There is no government program or school based fix.
Parents have to make the sacrifice for the kids they brought into the world. Â Perhaps I am sensitive to this because of sacrifices I’ve seen made for my kids-and the sacrifices I make for them, and certainly I do not have all of the answers nor do I want to position myself as a poster-child for family life.
And, I do believe there should be a social net so children do not fall through the cracks. Â But the fix has to start with family engagement-from parental school involvement, to family structure (and I do not mean nuclear family here, rather an engaged mother or father figure) to making time for your kids.
Today is a perfect example. Â I am writing this blog on an eastbound LIRR train. Â I left work early with a 6PM call still on my schedule to make sure my older daughter got to her softball practice on time. Â Tomorrow, I will leave early again to get the younger one to a softball game. Â The car pools are set up to get them to Hebrew school. Â I’ve emailed with both of their teachers today about in class happenings.
It can be done. Â It’s not easy and it is a commitment of time and energy-but they are my kids and I’ll raise them.