This goes out to single dads, heck why not all dads out there for that matter. This post is a bit on the personal level, and while “advice” may not be properly given, it is more about being a wake up call for us dads who tend to put work ahead of family… especially single dads like myself.

First off, as I think about the name of this site “Dad-O-Matic”, it reminds me of products such as the “veg-o-matic” and “chop-o-matic” sold years ago on TV by the pitchman/inventor Ron Popeil… you remember, the “but wait” guy? Everything Ron sold was a product to make life easier, “it slices, it dices, even makes julienne fries” Well, it is with that “O-Matic” connection that makes me laugh a little and wish there really was a “Dad-O-Matic” product of some sort. Anyway… moving on.

Personally over the last 7 years, over half of my sons life, I have been “Mr. Entrepreneur”. I have started 4 companies (2 are still alive) and have also dabbled in four different network marketing companies (still involved with 2). All of the companies have been decent in the fact that I am able to live each and every month perusing the “American Dream”, but I work my butt off and work insane hours to get the workload complete.

When I first divorced my boys mother I was still running our 30+ year old family business. My life was pretty much the 9-5 gig. Was able to come home and play dad every night (I have my son 50/50 with his mother). I cooked dinner every night… that’s right I cooked! Sure we ate out once in a while, but 85% of the time I was the chef of the house. Also. my income was more than I make now each month, I had all the benefits and the “work life balance” was… well… balanced. But now, life is not balanced, far from it! Work seems to be 85% of life and cooking, who has time for that. Delivery anyone?

I do spend a lot of time with my son. For the last 6 years I have helped either coach or assist in all his sporting activities, mainly football and baseball. We go to a lot of movies and play video games every now and again. We spend the “time”, but not in my opinion, as much of the the “quality time”. A lot of the time together while he is on my watch he spends on a computer, video game, or playing with friends and as for me, I am working in the home office playing catch up. When he does pop in to see what I am doing I am almost always not really paying attention as I have work on the brain. I find myself irritated that my little “mini-me” comes in to say hello, and I really am sick with myself for feeling that way… but work has to get done… right? Right “Mr. Entrepreneur”?

Recently my son turned 13, and with that comes the natural “disconnect” that happens as dad goes from funny to semi annoying. Looking back I realize how much I miss that time I spent with him (pre-entrepreneur) … really connecting and not being so stressed out all the time about getting work done. And with that said, while I know I can not make up for 7 years, I have realized it is time for a change.

This bright 13 year old kid of mine said something to me that I will never forget a couple of weeks ago in regards to my stress level (as he aways sees how wigged out I am)… he says “Dad, if you are so stressed out all of the time, why do you do what you do? Find something you like to do that does not stress you out so much”. Easy to say but when he said that I had a huge wake up call. Why?

• My boy should not have to bear my stress or see it in me
• I need to be a dad for him, not “Mr. Entrepreneur”
• He loves me enough to point it out
• I think him saying that was a way of saying he wants dad back

The issue at hand is, I really LOVE what I do for a living. Some portions and services of what I do I find less enjoyable than others, but over all I love it. If I did not love what I do for a living I would have stopped already and moved on… but I believe that eventually I will get back what I have put into my business… at least that is what I am planning on.

However, and a HUGE however is, I love my son 1000% more than my business. A business can be shut town, or sold. But children, especially at this age, are so impressionable. Every move I make is something he sees as what “should be done” when he grows up. And as I reflect, I do not like all that he sees in me some days. So now what? Time for change!

So, to my son, for you I promise the following:

• I will be a better dad
• The time I have with you is your time
• On days you are with me and not with your friends I am offline, unplugged and NOT working
• I promise to do my best to not be stressed out when we are together
• I want to be your dad and be the best example of what a dad should be at all times
• When you talk I will listen
• When you ask for something (within reason) I will find a way to make it happen
• I will always be your dad and I am proud of everything you do

I have put this post together for a few reasons:

1. In hopes that other dads will find the time to connect or reconnect with their children
2. Therapeutic
3. A reminder and an online promise to myself and my son that I am going to be a better dad, and take off the “Mr. Entrepreneur” hat when he is with me

So I close with this question… What are your priorities?

Until next post…

– Doc