It is Saturday afternoon and I am all alone. Olivia, my daughter and the youngest at 19 is at work at Panera Bread.  My middle Son, Ethan, is in Boston, battling the blizzards and enjoying the extra time he’s getting with his guitar thanks to “snow days” off from college. Zach, the first born and now 22, is done with college and though he is living at home, his schedule as a Chef keeps him out and about most weekends, including today.  How things change in just a few years.  Weekend time that was once devoted to my children is suddenly my own.  While I know they still need me, it is no longer for the daily “hands on” parenting that was once the norm.  The days of “kids will be kids” are now the days of “my kids are adults.” With that in mind, I have nothing better to do than to jot down…

10 Things I Miss Now That My Kids Are Older:

(If your kids are younger than mine, you are likely still experiencing some or all these things.  All I can say is, as frustrating and annoying as it all may seem at times, enjoy it. One day it will all be gone…)

In no particular order… the things I miss…

10. Noise – It is too darn quiet.  And blasting music does not fill the void of kid noise. It is not the same. When you feel that headache coming on because the kids have been banging toys and making noise all afternoon, smile instead and enjoy it.  One day soon it will be way too quiet.

9. Fighting – If you have more than one child then you know well the natural and irrational wrath of siblings.  The more inane the reason, the bigger the battle.  As my kids have gotten older, miraculously, rather than argue and fight, they have begun to support each other in mature and logical ways. Shocking!

8. Interruptions – Without toddlers waddling down the halls and leaping on laps… without tweens talking incessantly and asking questions… without kid being kids… I am left with nothing but my own powers of procrastination to stop me from getting things done on the weekend…

7. The Human ATM – Sure, I still give my kids an allowance, automated to be credited to their Visabuxx cards, but aside from that, they hardly ever hit me up for the random $5, $10, or $20, like they used to before they had their own incomes.  Now, when I go to the cash machine and load my wallet with some bills, they generally stay there until I actually spend it myself…  Bizarre!

6. Being A Chauffeur – Unless you live downtown in a major city, you probably feel you spend an inordinate amount of time (and gas) driving your kids around. Driving them to school, driving them to sports, dance class, friend’s houses, parties, doctor and dentist appointments, the mall, the movies, miles and miles as a parental taxi service.  Rest assured, one day they will obtain driver’s licenses, and access to vehicles, and suddenly you will trade in being fed up driving for being fearful of their driving…

5. Being A Cook – All my kids know how to cook, one of them is a professional.  Long gone are the days when I had to be concerned with making dinner for the kids.  With everyone on different schedules, between work, and work and school, rare is the night when we are all home for dinner at the same time, and everyone now more or less cooks for themselves…  I don’t miss the cooking for all as much as I miss the dinners together.

4. Homework Helper – I still occasionally get asked to advise or help with a homework assignment, but not too often.  The good news is that I am much better at helping with college level tasks than I ever was with things as complicated as high school algebra.  Hmmm, maybe I don’t actually miss being a homework helper…

3. Enforcing Rules – When your kids are young you can have all sorts of rules.  Bedtime, TV time, Computer time, Homework time, etc.  Once your kids become adults, real rules become few and far between.  After all, once they are in their 20’s, they are more or less subject to the same rules we as are… Curfew? Gesundheit!

2. Making Plans – I can remember when weekends revolved around planning activities to occupy and entertain the kids.  Movies, bowling, museums, an afternoon at the skate park, somehow or another we always had to have “plans.”  Then one day it all changes. Your kids still have plans every weekend… they just don’t include you anymore…

1. Finding a baby sitter – I can still remember the days when we could not leave the house without bringing the kids, or arranging for someone to watch the kids.  Then one day, the kids were simply old enough to watch themselves. You may not believe it is possible, but it will happen.

I present this list with bittersweet emotions.  Of course I am so very proud of my kids, and the mature, grounded, reasonably self-sufficient young adults they have become. And, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the “me” time their budding independence has facilitated.  However, I’d also be lying if I didn’t say that a part of me sorely misses the weekends when they needed me more…

What about you? How many of the ten things above are you still enjoying?

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 22, Ethan, 20 and Olivia, 19).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab and you can listen to Jeff on the Cast of Dads podcast.??