I had one of those conversations today that not only gives me something to blog about Dad but to also raise a question for the readers.

I went with Sharon to the Family care clinic to get  Harry ( now 1month old ) weighed and checked up and generally assessed for health. I was not that surprised to walk into a room that was basically lots of mums with babies and toddlers  and a few of the care staff bustling around. However there was at least one other Dad there and we gave each other that look which said ‘okay now I am not totally surrounded!.

I am a fairly hands on Dad for no other reason than I believe that is what your supposed to be. I’ll change nappies (  Americans will say diapers ), I will do feeds ( though I find the breast feeding a challenge! ) and I  will check with Sharon if she needs a drink or something to eat or just a break all round. All the while  corralling Alyssa who is now 4 and frankly louder than her father. but I digress.

What caught me out was the level of delight and praise that was being lauded upon me for ‘taking part’ for giving Harry his bottle and for being at the clinic with Sharon, I was encouraged to feel proud that I was an active Dad. Now it might just be my British sense of embrassment or possibly ( more likely ) my general stubbornness to accept praise but I had to take issue with the comments.

Whilst I am very proud to be a Father, and frankly a relatively inexperienced Father at that, I felt that there was an unjustified view that ‘Men’ in general do not take part in their childrens care and management.  I know that my own Father ( for whom Harry was named ) was just as involved in my own and my Sisters upbringing as I am with my children.  I wonder if there is a  myth about men and child care that goes right up there with women in the workplace if some of the ‘traditional views’ are more misplaced than real.

When Jeff Pulver spoke to me a week after Harrys birth he asked me how I was doing. My response at the time suprised me. Rather than make the usual remarks about sleep and energy levels I responded.

“Im running on duty and responsibility”

A duty to my wife and my family and a responsibility that comes out of that. To be there and to take part in the  care and provision of their wellbeing. These things dont make me feel ‘proud’ or seeking a sense of approval but they feel like things which being a Father simply should be.

How about yourself ?