In my most recent (and for that matter only so far…) post I talked about recognizing the signs that your son or daughter may have autism.  In this post I want to talk about dealing with the diagnosis.

As I mentioned previously, we had suspicions about our son perhaps being autistic.  Well we finally got to see a pediatrician who said that our boy probably was autistic.  He then said, to our faces, that this can be caused by mothers who are too emotionally distant from their children.  Now, I am a psychologist, and while clinical stuff is not really my forte I had read much of the recent literature and I knew this was an outdated Freudian notion (like most all Freudian notions) and it was offensive as hell.  I was speechless (and if you have ever met me you will know that is a pretty rare thing for me).  When we got back to the car I told my wife that it most certainly was not our fault, and that she should not blame herself.  Autism is likely a complex genetic disorder.  Scientists still do not really know the cause for sure, though many things have been ruled out.

When we got home I sad for a bit.  I mean, I am disabled (albinism, which caused my vision to be about 10 percent of normal)  and I did ok, but I had my brain to fall back on.  My son’s brain is wired incorrectly.  What was I to do?  Well we met a few parents of autistic kids in town and went to a few support group meetings.  These put things in some perspective and allowed us to see that our boy had a future (quite a bright one I think), and that families do cope.  I was surprised to learn that often times one parent or the other does not believe that their kid has autism.  Indeed, it turns out that is usually the father.   Ignoring the issue is not going to help your child.  What helps your kid is being realistic, and advocating for him or her.  Don’t despair. 

In my next post I will talk about advocating for your kid, it can be annoying and frustrating, but it is so worth it.