Here’s another heartbreaking tragedy caused by bullying as another sweet angel named Daniel Fitzpatrick Jr. committed suicide because he could not take the pain of being bullied anymore. He was only 13 and no one at school tried to help him which is the usual case. He left behind a note which explained all the anguish he endured and why he decided to end it all. This has become far too common these days as kids continue to pick on others relentlessly and everyone remains silent which has to stop!
We here at Dadomatic have always tried to champion the fight against bullying because as dads we understand the horrific torture this causes our children. All of us remember the pain from our youth from being teased or bullied whether we were the victims or someone else we knew and liked. It continues because everyone remains silent about it and no one does anything about it. This includes fellow students and teachers and school administrators and other parents. We are all complicit whenever we decide not to help someone who’s being attacked whether it’s verbally or physically. It is our business even when it’s not our kids.
We’ve done many pieces on combatting bullying…. here’s a link to them: dadomatic.com/tag/bullying/
One of our proudest moments was working with Chris Cuomo and 20/20 when they did a special on bullying. Here’s the article which contains many helpful resources that parents and teachers can use to help fight bullying.
One of the most powerful resources we’ve ever found was the work done for The Bully Project. They produced a deeply emotion film showcasing the effects of bullying not only on the victims but also their families, others kids and communities. This important film is being shown at schools in order to show everyone why this must be stopped. It is having a powerful and profound effect on kids and adults, especially the bullies and their parents. Many of them are seeking the help they need to address the psychological and emotional problems that lead bullies to lash out at innocent kids for no reason at all. Please try to get this film to play at your school and even at home…. even if you don’t think bullying is a part of your life. Just because your child never mentions it does not mean that he or she doesn’t see or feel it. Trust me, they are exposed to it in one way or another.
I want to conclude this latest nightmare with the words from the devastated dad of Daniel Jr. which is very difficult to hear because it’s so heartbreaking. Can you imagine what it feels like to lose such a beautiful boy who sounds like the kind of kid I would be proud to call my own. As a matter of fact the reason why this story hits me harder than all the others is because Daniel reminds me of my 13 year old son who is better than me and such a sweetheart and he’s a gentle giant and overweight so he’s an easy target for mean kids. As with all three of my kids, my wife and I always communicate with them every day and look for warning signs of bullying and we’ve been able to step in and intervene whenever we felt it was necessary and it has helped all three of them so far. Please watch this message from Danny’s dad and please help fight bullying… whether your child is the victim or the bully. We all must do what we can to help.
#
Yet another young life needlessly lost from the scourge of bullying. Sadly nothing is going to bring Danny back with his family which made this post resonate with me.
As a Martial Arts instructor who works with a LOT of kids and teens, I am amazed at how many young people suffer from anxiety and depression. Also, in 2016 despite all of the school anti bullying programs, govt legislation and widespread public awareness, it seems that bullying is as rampant now as it has ever been.
I think the best tactic to alleviate the chance of your child being subjected to ongoing harassment and bullying is to become proactive as your child’s anti bullying coach once they start school.
Asking direct questions to a kid can be very confronting so I’ve found a good way to initiate a conversation about a difficult situation is to ask questions indirectly along the lines of;
Dad: “Have you seen any kids at school who get upset because kids are mean to them?”
Kid: “Josh is mean sometimes”
Dad: “What did you see him do?”
Kid: “ He called Kyle an “ABC”
Dad: Really? Poor Kyle. Did the teacher do anything?
Kid: She told Kyle to say sorry.
Dad: Does Josh do mean things other kids?
I get the conversation going without being to pushy. After a while I slip in the question; “” Has Josh ever been mean to you?”
If it is a “no” I can then ask the question; “Has any other kid been mean?”
I’ve found the key here is not to react and to be neutral so the child feels comfortable because they are a) getting attention and b) they get a sense of your empathy.
This kind of calm conversation can pave the way for a long term and lasting communication as your child learns to find their way into the world.