It’s eleven minutes after seven in the morning. If the kids are going to make it to school on time, I need to get them out of the door and strapped into the car by 7:15.  Inevitably, one of them (my son is 4, daughter is 7) will encounter a challenge (I don’t know where my shoe is; my coat won’t zip; I forgot to pack my homework folder, etc.) that becomes a rate limiting factor.  It’s decision time…

The easiest and usually most expedient decision is to solve the problem for your child.  It’s typically much faster for a parent to find a lost shoe or zip up a stubborn jacket.  Problem solved; out the door on time.  But this is a short sighted solution and it does a disservice to your kids.

Parents must make choices – or pick their battles as we say in our house – and solving the problem for your child isn’t always the right choice.  Sometimes, we must make the time to say, “No.”  We must make our kids do things on their own – solve their own problems – even if that means we’ll be leaving the house five minutes later than usual.

Our children are capable of amazing things if given the opportunity.  Don’t fall into the habit of giving your kids the easy way out when they face a challenge.  Tell them that you’re confident that they can figure things out on their own.  Fight the urge to help with every little thing, and teach your kids to be more reliant on themselves.

It may take more time, but in the end, it’s worth it.