A few weeks ago I pulled into the shady, almost cozy looking parking lot of a building that would forever change my life.  From the outside it was a charming, cottage-like building, but inside was a well prepared surgery, perfect for a vasectomy!

I walked in and, like at all Doctor’s offices, I had to fill out forms. Many forms. After the forms I read over an information booklet and waited.  I spent some time on Twitter, live Tweeting where I was and what I was about to do. Finally, my doctor opened the door, old-fashioned surgical bag under his arm, and asked me to follow him.  I did.

We walked down to the small surgery that was going to make me transhuman.  For weeks I had been telling my wife that having surgery to eliminate my reproductive ability would give me transhuman status. I thought this was hilarious, my wife didn’t find it as funny. I dropped my pants, hopped up on the table, and went under the knife.

It was a piece of cake.

My Doctor asked if I was nervous. When I told him no, he smiled. He likes performing this procedure, he said, because his patients were self-selecting – if they were nervous, they didn’t show up. Nothing but relaxed patients for him.

He set about prepping me, and we chatted about things that strangers talk about.  The weather, interests, life stories, small things like that.  The worst part of the procedure, that absolute worst part, was when he covered me with antiseptic.  It was cold, like jumping into a cool lake or pool.  That was the absolute extent of the discomfort.  The one time I felt any discomfort, he stopped and topped off the pain medication for me, no questions asked.

After it was all done, I got dressed, and walked out the door, up the stairs to the waiting car. It was that easy.

Now, a few things you need to know before you go in. You shouldn’t take any blood thinning pain medication, such as Aspirin and Tylenol, for the two weeks leading up to your procedure, or for one week after.  You should bring a pair of tight brief-style underwear, one size smaller than you usually wear would be fine. You don’t want to be wearing baggy boxers for at least a couple of weeks.  You should also have someone to drive you home, driving just after the procedure is not recommended.

Over the weekend I spent a lot of time on the couch.  I iced the area, but not for pain, just to prevent swelling. It’s a good idea to rotate ice on and off in fifteen to twenty minute cycles. Don’t over ice!  Try to stay off your feet as much as you can, but you will not a complete invalid.  By Sunday night, I was cleaning up after my kids, and doing much of what I usually did on a regular basis.  The pain was minimal, regular strength painkillers were more than enough.

By Monday morning, I was ready to go back to work. I had to drive instead of riding my bike, but otherwise I was fine, totally fine.

In my next and final article, I will let you know how the rest of my recovery went, and the results of my final test.

Drew Beatty is a father, podcaster and writer. He is also known to use Twitter.  Soon he will be unable to reproduce, but he is okay with that.

Stay tuned for followup posts on this touchy but important subject matter.