Yesterday was Valentine’s Day, and while Jeff has provided some great ways to avoid disaster today, I wanted to talk about why I didn’t really start caring about it all, until our oldest daughter was born.  It’s not that I’m not a romantic, quite the contrary.  I think it’s more that, like most men, I hate being told what to do.  I much prefer to give my wife flowers on a random Wednesday, for no reason other than it makes her happy, than because the calendar and a florist advertisement says I have to.

I’m not stupid. My wife and I celebrated Valentine’s Day before our daughters were born. I always remembered a card, and flowers, and sometimes we would go out, and sometimes I would cook.  It was always at least a little bit under protest though.  It was always because it was easier to go with the flow than take a silly stand against a “Hallmark Holiday.”  I looked at it as a good excuse to remind my wife how much I love and appreciate her.

You see, she loves holidays.  All of them.  That became really obvious after our kids were born.  She makes a big deal.  She gets decorations and balloons, and makes sure the house looks special, and our kids love it. Whether it’s a birthday, or New Years, or yes, Valentine’s Day, they know it’s a special day as soon as they wake up and step out of their room.

The great thing is that I enjoy them a lot more now too.  Like today, when our six year old came into our room and couldn’t wait to show us what she wrote on the card she made for her sister.  She picked out a Dora card with stickers, because her little sister loves Dora (and stickers).  Seeing how much she wanted to make today special for her little sister, the way her mom does, was one of those moments that make parenthood worth all the , well, you know.

I can’t help but get into the act. Some heart shaped pancakes were just the thing to kick off our Valentine’s Day.  I can tell you that making them meant more to my wife than buying flowers ever could.  So yes, my wife and I will let each other know how much we mean to each other, and maybe even have a romantic dinner, but our life hasn’t been just about us for some time, and today is no different. It is so much better.  It has so much more meaning.

Ian is the father of two young daughters (6, and 2).  He  has a podcast and blog about starting a business while raising young children at Startup Daddy.