It is Independence Day but I find myself considering “independence” in more ways than the birth of our nation. Having recently gone through both a High School and a College graduation with my kids, lately their independence has been on my mind. Â So, to celebrate parenthood on the 4th of July, here is a quick look at…
10 Milestones In Your Child’s Path To Independence:
1)Â BIRTH – This is it. Â The moment that umbilical cord is cut, your child truly enters the world as a separate, independent being. Sure, they are wholly dependent on you, yet, in the big picture, they are another new person, ready to begin making their own unique mark on the future.
2) CRAWLING – The first bit of self propelled movement is the moment a child begins their true journey of discovery. Â It is a bit of new independence that suddenly brings things within view also within reach.
3) WALKING – If crawling is the tip of the movement iceberg, then taking that first step opens the floodgates to new-found independence. Â Not only does your child go further and faster, but standing up presents a whole new view of things… literally and figuratively.
4) TALKING – Communication is perhaps the greatest inherent gift we have, and when a child starts to speak their world instantly gets bigger and richer (and ours is changed forever).
5) GOING TO SCHOOL – The first time we send our kids off for the day is their first true chance to experience a world outside of the familiarity and comfort of home and family.
6) READING – Learning to read is another moment when the scope of one’s universe suddenly expands overnight. Â Reading is not only the gateway to knowledge, but also a wonderful path to your child exploring their own imagination and creativity.
7) RIDING A BIKE – Wheels! Â From the driveway, to the block, to the neighborhood and beyond, a childs’ first bike is their first vehicle and their first chance to travel on their own.
8 ) DRIVING A CAR – More wheels! Â Suddenly your kids can go and do what they want, without being tethered to the range of their feet and bikes, or the scheduling of the Mom/Dad taxi service. Â A massive right of passage for kids, and a new adventure in stress and worry for us parents.
9) GETTING A JOB – Whether it is mowing lawns, babysitting, painting a neighbor’s porch, flipping burgers, or starting a computer consulting business, the first time your child earns their own money leads to a new sense of power, independence, and pride as they begin to truly value the value of what they work for.
10) GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL/COLLEGE – Finishing school is a huge moment of accomplishment and a big step toward true independence.
BONUS:
11) STARTING THEIR OWN FAMILY – So far I have survived all ten of the milestones above, and each and every one of them has made me increasingly proud of my children, their accomplishments, and the ways they have handled their own growing independence and transition from being great kids to being great people. Â The next step will truly bring everything full circle as one day each of them is blessed to find a great partner and start their own families. Â That will be quite an Independence Day, I am sure!
What do you think? Â Are there any milestones I missed when thinking of your own kids’ path to Independence? Â Please share your thoughts in the comments, and HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!
Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 22, Ethan, 20 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab and you can listen to Jeff on the Cast of Dads podcast.?
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Hi Jeff,
Great list. There is a massive gap between 7 and 8 though. I hope there are few other steps in there.
Great blog though and thanks for your experience.
Nigel
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I’d agree with Nigel. I know 10 (or 11) is a nice round number, but I think you need things like “first bloodied nose,” “first date/kiss/encounter with the other sex,” and “first night spent away from home.”
Especially the “first encounter that made him/her realize that boys/girls aren’t icky.”
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Great list. As a newish dad, I’ve watched Jack go through 1-3 already and start #4.
As odd as it sounds, even at this young age, I’m kind of looking forward to the milestones where Jack makes conscious choices to be his own person. A lot of these are great, and true, but standard developmental progress.
So for me, things like “first time standing up to parents” and “declaring a major” definitely belong on the list.
Of course, find me in fifteen years and see how I feel about either of those suggestions then.
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Nigel and Bill, thanks for the comments and YES, there are many milestones between 7 and 8. LOL. I wanted to pick ten to get the conversation started, but please add some more! (Bill, the girl’s aren’t ICKY is definitely a sign of newfound independence… or not..)
Alan, those are great additions to the milestones. Thanks!
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it’s a good suggestion,thank you!