It is possible your Dad didn’t explicitly tell you these things when you became a parent, but he probably demonstrated at least some of them to you in actions if not words when you were growing up. Please allow me to take the liberty to point them out to you more directly now. In fact, it is my Dad-O-Matic duty to do so! Disclaimer: Though I try to be the best Dad I can, I am guilty of not always remembering and adhering to my own advice, so this post is as much a reminder for me as it may be for you!
5 Tips on Fatherhood Your Dad Never Told You:
1) Listen. Despite our dominant position of authority as “the parent,” it is NOT always about us. Stop and LISTEN to your kids once in a while. I often catch myself taking over the conversation, so I am trying to make a more conscious attempt to let THEM do the talking for a change. Regardless of the subject matter, if it is important enough for them to want to tell you, it is important enough for us to be interested. Whether they are telling you about the frog they stepped on, their favorite flavor of chewing gum or describing an elaborate classroom math equation you will never understand, listen and be INTERESTED. Our kids crave and value our interest in their lives and activities far more than we realize.
2) Share. Share your adult life with your kids. Times are tough and we are all working really hard to make ends meet and provide for our families. If you work a lot and spend a lot of time on your job, share it with your kids. Tell them what you are doing at work and why. Tell them what you like about your job and what you don’t. Bring your work to kids day is a good idea.
3) Be Ridiculous. You can NEVER embarrass yourself in front of your kids. Anything silly you do will be enjoyed and remembered by your kids. The sillier the better. Inhibitions are not an excuse. If you cower at the thought of Karaoke, you should be proud to sing off key for your kids (and do so often). If you are a polished fashionable type you should be daring and dress in mismatched rags once in a while to make your kids smile. Shopping with your kids? Startle them and talk in complete gibberish to the cashier (and wink knowingly to your kids) as the cashier looks at you as a crazy person and calls for their manager (then, laugh with your kids and of course pay for the goods). These are some of the moments your kids will remember forever, so as long as nobody can get hurt, if you have a secret urge to be “wild and crazy,” go for it!
4) Teach. Anything and everything. Anything you do, if your kids are present, it is an opportunity to teach them. If you are fixing a light-switch (or engaged in any other household chore) if they come by don’t send them away as if they are a bother because “daddy is busy.” Instead, take a moment and show them what you are doing. An annoying chore like fixing a switch can turn into a quick and fun lesson on electricity.
5) Say “I LOVE YOU” – a lot! These three words are invincible. They are tougher than Teflon or Titanium, stronger than Stainless Steel and more durable than a Diamond. The words “I LOVE YOU” can never be worn down or overused. Plus, they are as satisfying and rewarding to say as to hear, and the more you say it, the more you will hear it. The “L” word is awesome, but don’t just say it, MEAN IT!
What do you think? What things would you like to add to this list? Let’s grow this list together in the comments!
Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 17). He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast. You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.
Photo Credit: © philipus – Fotolia.com
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Jeff, as usual, your insights are right on target. We had an incredible downpour here in the Keys a few weekends ago. I ran out in the rain. At first, my son was a little shocked, but then with me acting silly and encouraging him to come out, we took a “shower” in our clothes and had a blast. We were totally nuts. Unfortunately no pictures of this incredibilly silly moment.
I think I would add “Play with them” to the list. Too often we are in the same place but miles apart. Joining their activities or picking “joint” ones Together is just the best.
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All of these points were great, but I would like to say something on number 2. I’m a sailor and one of my kids’ favorite things in the entire world is getting to come to my ship to visit me. So on any duty day we can work it out, after my official watch is over, my wife brought the kids to the ship and we spent over two hours together. It was so rewarding, not to mention fulfilling part of my fatherly duties.
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Jeff, as usual, your insights are right on target. We had an incredible downpour here in the Keys a few weekends ago. I ran out in the rain. At first, my son was a little shocked, but then with me acting silly and encouraging him to come out, we took a “shower” in our clothes and had a blast. We were totally nuts. Unfortunately no pictures of this incredibilly silly moment.
I think I would add “Play with them” to the list. Too often we are in the same place but miles apart. Joining their activities or picking “joint” ones Together is just the best.
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Jeff, as usual, your insights are right on target. We had an incredible downpour here in the Keys a few weekends ago. I ran out in the rain. At first, my son was a little shocked, but then with me acting silly and encouraging him to come out, we took a “shower” in our clothes and had a blast. We were totally nuts. Unfortunately no pictures of this incredibilly silly moment.
I think I would add “Play with them” to the list. Too often we are in the same place but miles apart. Joining their activities or picking “joint” ones Together is just the best.
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All of these points were great, but I would like to say something on number 2. I'm a sailor and one of my kids' favorite things in the entire world is getting to come to my ship to visit me. So on any duty day we can work it out, after my official watch is over, my wife brought the kids to the ship and we spent over two hours together. It was so rewarding, not to mention fulfilling part of my fatherly duties.
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All of these points were great, but I would like to say something on number 2. I'm a sailor and one of my kids' favorite things in the entire world is getting to come to my ship to visit me. So on any duty day we can work it out, after my official watch is over, my wife brought the kids to the ship and we spent over two hours together. It was so rewarding, not to mention fulfilling part of my fatherly duties.
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Excellent points every one of them Don’t forget these work great with Grandkids as well.
Anthony Russo
an*************@gm***.com
http://www.anthonyrussoblog.com/Anthony
Skype: anth.russo
Twitter: @AnthonyRusso
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Excellent points every one of them Don't forget these work great with Grandkids as well.
Anthony Russo
an*************@gm***.com
http://www.anthonyrussoblog.com/Anthony
Skype: anth.russo
Twitter: @AnthonyRusso
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Excellent points every one of them Don't forget these work great with Grandkids as well.
Anthony Russo
an*************@gm***.com
http://www.anthonyrussoblog.com/Anthony
Skype: anth.russo
Twitter: @AnthonyRusso
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Showering in the rain with your clothes on is always fun (and very efficient from a laundry point of view!) Thanks, as always, for your comment, and for sharing! Yes, PLAY is a good one to add!
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Certainly if your office is as cool as a ship there’s no question taking your kids to work will always be an adventure (for you and them!) I am jealous!
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Thanks Anthony. Great point regarding Grandparents/grandkids!
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Showering in the rain with your clothes on is always fun (and very efficient from a laundry point of view!) Thanks, as always, for your comment, and for sharing! Yes, PLAY is a good one to add!
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Showering in the rain with your clothes on is always fun (and very efficient from a laundry point of view!) Thanks, as always, for your comment, and for sharing! Yes, PLAY is a good one to add!
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Certainly if your office is as cool as a ship there's no question taking your kids to work will always be an adventure (for you and them!) I am jealous!
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Certainly if your office is as cool as a ship there's no question taking your kids to work will always be an adventure (for you and them!) I am jealous!
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Thanks Anthony. Great point regarding Grandparents/grandkids!
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Thanks Anthony. Great point regarding Grandparents/grandkids!
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Tip three is the best, Jeff. My ten month old son recently learned how to crawl and I have found that I love cruising around the house on all fours with him in toe and my three year old daughter on my back. Rolling around on the floor after work with two kids and a bunch of toys = awesome!
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Tip three is the best, Jeff. My ten month old son recently learned how to crawl and I have found that I love cruising around the house on all fours with him in toe and my three year old daughter on my back. Rolling around on the floor after work with two kids and a bunch of toys = awesome!
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Tip three is the best, Jeff. My ten month old son recently learned how to crawl and I have found that I love cruising around the house on all fours with him in toe and my three year old daughter on my back. Rolling around on the floor after work with two kids and a bunch of toys = awesome!
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Found this from dudetodad on twitter (warning: i’m new at this). Hope to retweet this because it’s important for moms too!
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Found this from dudetodad on twitter (warning: i'm new at this). Hope to retweet this because it's important for moms too!
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Found this from dudetodad on twitter (warning: i'm new at this). Hope to retweet this because it's important for moms too!
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Some great tips. For me number five truly payed off recently. I always tell my son (21 months) that I love him and the other day, after letting him know I received my best gift as a Dad so far:
“ah uhv oo”
I stopped dead, then gave him the biggest hug he has probably had yet. Best day as a Dad so far, and there have been many amazing ones.
I would add this tip to the list:
Stop what you are doing and pay attention: I know it isn’t always possible depending on what you are doing, but when I am busy doing something and my son comes pulling on my pant leg for attention, or wants to show me something he is excited about I try and stop what I am doing and give him my undivided attention.
Great post, my son is currently spinning in the middle of the living room, time to join in on tip #3 and spin till I hit the floor.
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Some great tips. For me number five truly payed off recently. I always tell my son (21 months) that I love him and the other day, after letting him know I received my best gift as a Dad so far:
“ah uhv oo”
I stopped dead, then gave him the biggest hug he has probably had yet. Best day as a Dad so far, and there have been many amazing ones.
I would add this tip to the list:
Stop what you are doing and pay attention: I know it isn't always possible depending on what you are doing, but when I am busy doing something and my son comes pulling on my pant leg for attention, or wants to show me something he is excited about I try and stop what I am doing and give him my undivided attention.
Great post, my son is currently spinning in the middle of the living room, time to join in on tip #3 and spin till I hit the floor.
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Some great tips. For me number five truly payed off recently. I always tell my son (21 months) that I love him and the other day, after letting him know I received my best gift as a Dad so far:
“ah uhv oo”
I stopped dead, then gave him the biggest hug he has probably had yet. Best day as a Dad so far, and there have been many amazing ones.
I would add this tip to the list:
Stop what you are doing and pay attention: I know it isn't always possible depending on what you are doing, but when I am busy doing something and my son comes pulling on my pant leg for attention, or wants to show me something he is excited about I try and stop what I am doing and give him my undivided attention.
Great post, my son is currently spinning in the middle of the living room, time to join in on tip #3 and spin till I hit the floor.
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Being “Ridiculous” with your kids from time to time should be required behavior! Crawling and being the “horsey” is fun, isn’t it! LOL. Great to hear from you Chris, and hope all is well!
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Thanks so much for your comment and for retweeting. Moms are ALWAYS welcome at Dad-O-Matic!
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Jeremie, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT! Thanks so much for sharing your “ah uhv oo” moment. Awesome. Also, “Stop and Pay Attention” is also a great addition to #1. Have fun on #3! 😉
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Being “Ridiculous” with your kids from time to time should be required behavior! Crawling and being the “horsey” is fun, isn't it! LOL. Great to hear from you Chris, and hope all is well!
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Being “Ridiculous” with your kids from time to time should be required behavior! Crawling and being the “horsey” is fun, isn't it! LOL. Great to hear from you Chris, and hope all is well!
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Thanks so much for your comment and for retweeting. Moms are ALWAYS welcome at Dad-O-Matic!
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Thanks so much for your comment and for retweeting. Moms are ALWAYS welcome at Dad-O-Matic!
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Jeremie, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT! Thanks so much for sharing your “ah uhv oo” moment. Awesome. Also, “Stop and Pay Attention” is also a great addition to #1. Have fun on #3! 😉
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Jeremie, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT! Thanks so much for sharing your “ah uhv oo” moment. Awesome. Also, “Stop and Pay Attention” is also a great addition to #1. Have fun on #3! 😉
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Being ridiculous is a great one. My kids love it and I think it helps them to see that when it comes to family…you can just be yourself. Nice Post!
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Being ridiculous is a great one. My kids love it and I think it helps them to see that when it comes to family…you can just be yourself. Nice Post!
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Being ridiculous is a great one. My kids love it and I think it helps them to see that when it comes to family…you can just be yourself. Nice Post!
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How true, especially the silly stuff. I make it a point to do goofy stuff with my kids, make silly metaphors, and word plays. Since I work at home a lot, I get requests to play frequently, so recently I got to rediscover the trampoline, although my weight bounced both of them around quite a bit.
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How true, especially the silly stuff. I make it a point to do goofy stuff with my kids, make silly metaphors, and word plays. Since I work at home a lot, I get requests to play frequently, so recently I got to rediscover the trampoline, although my weight bounced both of them around quite a bit.
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How true, especially the silly stuff. I make it a point to do goofy stuff with my kids, make silly metaphors, and word plays. Since I work at home a lot, I get requests to play frequently, so recently I got to rediscover the trampoline, although my weight bounced both of them around quite a bit.
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Great advise. As the dad of extremely impressionable 3 & 18mo olds, I find myself working very hard to listen. The “I love you” part is the most rewarding part of all, because it comes back to me 10-fold.
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Great advise. As the dad of extremely impressionable 3 & 18mo olds, I find myself working very hard to listen. The “I love you” part is the most rewarding part of all, because it comes back to me 10-fold.
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Great advise. As the dad of extremely impressionable 3 & 18mo olds, I find myself working very hard to listen. The “I love you” part is the most rewarding part of all, because it comes back to me 10-fold.
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The edge event mask calorie shifting is you will not go hungry, you won ‘ t bend cravings
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The edge event mask calorie shifting is you will not go hungry, you won ' t bend cravings
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The edge event mask calorie shifting is you will not go hungry, you won ' t bend cravings
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I think every tips is great, and no.5 is special and effective
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I think every tips is great, and no.5 is special and effective