My son is experiencing regrets.

Ben is 27 and, not too long out of the U.S. Army (he served in the Iraqi Freedom invasion force with the 101st Airborne), is planning a July 2009 wedding while going through the process of starting a career in law enforcement. He has gone through the application process, a written exam (known as the POST test), the personal interview, and a physical exam. Still to come, before he can enter the academy, is a physical ability test, which doesn’t worry him, and the submission of a document that lists anything that might disqualify him.

That worries him.

Candor underlies this form. If you fail to list anything that surfaces in a background check, you’re history. Not only will you never work for this department, it’s unlikely you’ll ever work for any department; your untruthfulness will follow you wherever you go.

So Ben is dredging up his youth. It hasn’t been a pleasant experience.

Not that he was a bad kid. He was never arrested. He never got into drugs or alcohol. I’ve been reassuring him that there’s really nothing in his past that could keep him from his goal of becoming a police officer. But he had authority issues, which included him mom and me (not an issue here) and teachers (which is the issue here). Because teachers wanted him to learn, he more or less refused. He was a distraction to other students and was bounced from one school to another, winding up at a school for low achievers.

If the phone rang at home during school hours, there was a good chance it was the school calling about Ben. We had parent-teacher meetings about as often as some people go to the movies. We frequently picked him up early after he was sent home for one problem or another. He exasperated us, especially his mother who was home during the days coping with it while I went to work.

We tried counseling. Doctors. Medications. More counseling. More doctors. Different medications. Running out of options, we finally took the big step and got Ben admitted to Boy’s Town for his senior year of high school.

Yeah, that Boy’s Town, the one portrayed in the movie with Spencer Tracy and Mickey Rooney, the one located in Omaha, Nebraska.

It wound up being a great experience for him, essentially turning his life around. He came home and got a trained as a massage therapist while figuring out what he really wanted to do. Then the World Trade Center towers fell on September 11, 2001, and Ben enlisted in the U.S. Army. He came through basic training at Fort Bening, Georgia, with flying colors and was assigned to the storied Screaming Eagles, based at Fort Campbell, Kentucky, as a combat infantry soldier.

While nobody was considering Iraq as a potential destination, Afghanistan was certainly on their minds. But events unfolded as they did and Ben found himself shipped out to Kuwait to await the order to cross the border and begin the long road to Baghdad (which included stops at most of the key battles you’ve heard of: Karballah, Al Narjef, and so on). The night before the invasion orders were issued, Ben called and told his mom he was sorry for everything he’d put her through. She cried for two hours.

Ben distinguished himself in Iraq. He earned a variety of citations, including the Army Medal of Commendation. I read through his paperwork when he came home, after which I told him he should never let his mother read these papers. They spoke of valor, courage, and heroism. They characterized him as a leader, a model for other soldiers to follow. One citation told of his putting himself in the line of fire to rescue an Iraqi woman and child. It is the graphic descriptions of actual events that make me think Michele will never sleep again if she knows what kind of danger Ben put himself in on a regular, day-to-day basis.

From the very first rumblings that the U.S. might go to war in Iraq, I was opposed to it, and remain so. At the same time, I can’t begin to express the pride I have for my son (and, by extension, for all our young men and women who behaved nobly and honorably in the performance of their duty).

But now, as he slogs through reams of paperwork, his behavior 15 to 20 years ago is coming back to haunt him. And all Michele and I can do is reassure him that none of his adolescent misadventures can possibly overshadow the man he has become, diminish his accomplishments, or sully his character. Any police department would be proud — and lucky — to have him. His record will show that.

I tell this story for any of you dads (or moms, for that matter) whose young kids are driving you to distraction now, leaving you to wonder what will become of them. You see, through all the difficult times, I never doubted Ben would turn out great. As his dad, I could see through his temporary state and envision his potential. If you never stop loving your kids, stand by them, and never give up on them, they’ll turn out fine. Better than fine. They’ll choke you up with who they become and what they achieve.

Trust me. I’m speak from experience.

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