Over the past week or two, I’ve spent a lot of time parenting and gardening – and reflecting on both. I have been doing kindergarten outside in the garden with my five-year old daughter every morning (that it hasn’t rained). She waters the plants, and I pluck the weeds. And, of course, we read, talk and write together.
Watering and Weeding
It strikes me that that there is a parallel between parenting and gardening in concerted cultivation. If I want the garden to thrive (and not the weeds), I need to be diligent about watering and weeding. When I do those two things, I can enjoy the beauty of the garden. Likewise in parenting, I need to be diligent in nurturing and correcting. When I do those two things, I enjoy the beauty of our relationship. If I fail to nurture, my daughter will wilt like a flower without water; if I nurture without correcting, she’ll grow, but her character will be laced with weeds. If I correct without nurture, I may get rid of the weeds, but her character won’t blossom.
What wisdom can you share in cultivating your relationship with your kids?
Graham Scharf is a father of two, and co-founder of Tumblon.com. He blogs at Essential Questions and produces a podcast series for parents of young children. You can follow him on Twitter @tumblondad.
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I’m interested in hearing what others have to say. I could use some help cultivating my relationship with my oldest daughter. I’m at a loss as how to get back on her good side these days. She’s such a mommy’s girl!
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I’m interested in hearing what others have to say. I could use some help cultivating my relationship with my oldest daughter. I’m at a loss as how to get back on her good side these days. She’s such a mommy’s girl!
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What has worked in the past in nurturing your relationship with her?
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What has worked in the past in nurturing your relationship with her?
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Not real sure – I’ll have to think about it. Everything changed when my wife got pregnant with our second daughter. I mean, the DAY that my wife got pregnant our oldest clung to my wife and hasn’t let go.
For a little while after Madelyn was born, Olivia really warmed up to me. But it seems like a few months ago she’s reverted back to only wanting mommy to the point where she’ll tell me to leave the room if her and her mommy are playing together…and she’s dead serious about it.
I think part of it has to do with me being more stern with her since time and patience is at a premium in our house these days. It seems like as soon as I get onto her or ask her to do something she doesn’t want to do, she clams up and whines for mommy.
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Not real sure – I’ll have to think about it. Everything changed when my wife got pregnant with our second daughter. I mean, the DAY that my wife got pregnant our oldest clung to my wife and hasn’t let go.
For a little while after Madelyn was born, Olivia really warmed up to me. But it seems like a few months ago she’s reverted back to only wanting mommy to the point where she’ll tell me to leave the room if her and her mommy are playing together…and she’s dead serious about it.
I think part of it has to do with me being more stern with her since time and patience is at a premium in our house these days. It seems like as soon as I get onto her or ask her to do something she doesn’t want to do, she clams up and whines for mommy.
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How does your wife respond to your daughter’s actions (whining, clinging, telling you to leave the room)?
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How does your wife respond to your daughter’s actions (whining, clinging, telling you to leave the room)?