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Today I had to have a difficult conversation with my daughters. It was made harder because we live apart, they in the UK me here in the US.
So over the phone I had to break the news that I had received only a few hours earlier, that their Grandmother, my Mother had passed away.
My daughters are older – one is 20, the other just turned 18 two weeks ago. This type of conversation is hard at any age face to face, the awkwardness of it over the phone made it seem even harder.
Having broken the news to them, I was of course, concerned about them. Were they upset, how would they take the news.
What I found instead was that their concern was how was I? I was confused, I’m the parent, I’m the one that is supposed to be the strong one, the one that shoulders their concerns.
Their concern for me reminded me that I too was someone’s child. That parenting isn’t a function of age and that your children can teach you about being a parent as much as you can teach them about being an adult, if you are prepared to be open to learning that.
So I go forward into the New Year as an orphan, but instead of feeling only a sense of loss, I feel I have gained a knew insight, that my daughters have grown into wonderfully compassionate strong women – just like their Grandmother was and that as long as I remain open they, like her, have much to teach me.
What will you learn from the difficult conversations you have with your Children?
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Great post. I remember when my mother became ill and our roles were suddenly reversed. Family is family and we all take turns parenting each other as children enter adulthood.
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Great post. I remember when my mother became ill and our roles were suddenly reversed. Family is family and we all take turns parenting each other as children enter adulthood.
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I am sorry for your loss but I am happy that it sounds like you have two amazing daughters. It is really wonderful when our children can surprise us like that.
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I am sorry for your loss but I am happy that it sounds like you have two amazing daughters. It is really wonderful when our children can surprise us like that.
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Toughest conversation like that I’ve had to have recently was when we lost our dog almost two years ago. We found him dead under our shed in back. It crushed our son. It was tough talking with him about it.
He’s not overly close to either of our parents, but I dread having to deal with that because I’m sure I’ll say something very adult instead of just holding him and helping him deal.
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Toughest conversation like that I’ve had to have recently was when we lost our dog almost two years ago. We found him dead under our shed in back. It crushed our son. It was tough talking with him about it.
He’s not overly close to either of our parents, but I dread having to deal with that because I’m sure I’ll say something very adult instead of just holding him and helping him deal.