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Fatherhood One On One

April 19, 2010 By 18 Comments

Yes, you read correctly.  The title of this post is “Fatherhood One On One,” not to be confused with “Fatherhood 101.”  For Fatherhood “101,” just dive in and and read ALL the posts on Dadomatic from ALL our great Dads.  You will get a complete primer on being a Dad from just about every imaginable point of view.  On the other hand, if you keep reading this particular post we’ll go down the “one on one” path (which, by the way, has nothing to do with basketball either).

My Dinner With Olivia

By definition, a family is a group, and with Moms, Dads and Kids, most of our “family time” is spent as a group.  If there is more than one parent and more than one child in your household, with our hectic lives it is very easy to forget how important it is to get “one on one” time with each and every family member (and that includes time for Mom and Dad to be together, one on one, without the kids).  If you have more than one child the dynamic is completely different, as is the way we engage with our kids and how they engage with us, when only one of them is the object of our undivided attention.  I was reminded of this tonight as my daughter and I had the chance to go out for a quiet dinner, just the two of us.  We talked, we laughed, we caught up on things that on the surface may have seemed like meaningless minutia, but instead every topic became interesting and fun because it was just us, sharing the moment.  She may be 18 and weeks away from graduating High School, but Olivia will always be Daddy’s little girl, and hugging her tonight was just as sweet as it was when she was a doll toting tike.

Making Time, Taking Time

As parents, we have so many responsibilities, obligations and challenges that sometimes it is easy to forget that we have to work at making time and taking time to be with each of our kids individually and give them the chance to own us for a while, without any competition from anyone else (especially their brothers and sisters).  Tonight my dinner with my daughter helped me remember just how important it is.  What do you think?  How important is “one on one” time to you?  Are you able to carve out special time for each of your family members with just you?

??Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes!and Social Networking Rehab and you can listen to Jeff on the Cast of Dads podcast.

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  • http://www.TheDADvocateProject.com Anonymous

    I had a lovely date with my oldest daughter on Friday too. My youngest is only six months and he and I spend time in the evenings after the girsl are asleep. My oldest daughter 7 demands personal time and we get it fairly often. My middle childe unfortunatly doesn’t get the opportunity much and she doesn’t gennerally like to take advantage of it if we do. Last week I wanted to take her out to breakfast but she wanted her big sister to come with us. This weekend however we did end up getting some time together. We went out to the swing set while the baby was sleeping and Mommy was out with the big sister. I completely agree with you Jeff one-on-one time is a must. It’s difficult to do but absolutly necessary.

  • http://www.TheDADvocateProject.com metzgerbusiness

    I had a lovely date with my oldest daughter on Friday too. My youngest is only six months and he and I spend time in the evenings after the girsl are asleep. My oldest daughter 7 demands personal time and we get it fairly often. My middle childe unfortunatly doesn't get the opportunity much and she doesn't gennerally like to take advantage of it if we do. Last week I wanted to take her out to breakfast but she wanted her big sister to come with us. This weekend however we did end up getting some time together. We went out to the swing set while the baby was sleeping and Mommy was out with the big sister. I completely agree with you Jeff one-on-one time is a must. It's difficult to do but absolutly necessary.

  • http://www.TheDADvocateProject.com metzgerbusiness

    I had a lovely date with my oldest daughter on Friday too. My youngest is only six months and he and I spend time in the evenings after the girsl are asleep. My oldest daughter 7 demands personal time and we get it fairly often. My middle childe unfortunatly doesn't get the opportunity much and she doesn't gennerally like to take advantage of it if we do. Last week I wanted to take her out to breakfast but she wanted her big sister to come with us. This weekend however we did end up getting some time together. We went out to the swing set while the baby was sleeping and Mommy was out with the big sister. I completely agree with you Jeff one-on-one time is a must. It's difficult to do but absolutly necessary.

  • http://iangordon.me Ian Gordon

    I take or oldest, now 7, out to breakfast most weekends and I absolutely agree with you. I learn more about what she’s up to and who her friends are during these awesome mornings than the whole week combined. I plan to keep it up as long as she’s willing to be seen with me in public. Now that our youngest is 2, she is old enough for us to start the same tradition. It doesn’t have to be going out to breakfast, it can be as simple as going to the park together. As long as it’s one on one.

  • http://www.startupdaddy.com Ian Gordon

    I take or oldest, now 7, out to breakfast most weekends and I absolutely agree with you. I learn more about what she's up to and who her friends are during these awesome mornings than the whole week combined. I plan to keep it up as long as she's willing to be seen with me in public. Now that our youngest is 2, she is old enough for us to start the same tradition. It doesn't have to be going out to breakfast, it can be as simple as going to the park together. As long as it's one on one.

  • http://www.startupdaddy.com Ian Gordon

    I take or oldest, now 7, out to breakfast most weekends and I absolutely agree with you. I learn more about what she's up to and who her friends are during these awesome mornings than the whole week combined. I plan to keep it up as long as she's willing to be seen with me in public. Now that our youngest is 2, she is old enough for us to start the same tradition. It doesn't have to be going out to breakfast, it can be as simple as going to the park together. As long as it's one on one.

  • http://chocolatediapers.com dtelisman

    I only have one child, and he’s two, so one-on-one time is easy to achieve. The problem is that he’s a mamma’s boy and has little interest in me. Wah!

  • http://chocolatediapers.com dtelisman

    I only have one child, and he's two, so one-on-one time is easy to achieve. The problem is that he's a mamma's boy and has little interest in me. Wah!

  • http://chocolatediapers.com dtelisman

    I only have one child, and he's two, so one-on-one time is easy to achieve. The problem is that he's a mamma's boy and has little interest in me. Wah!

  • http://twitter.com/DavidBaeza David Baeza

    Loved this post. My daughters are 4 and 6, and my 6 year old is at the point that she really loves one on one time. Because she is so young I take her to our local Italian restaurant for a late lunch. They all know her so they treat her like royalty. This is predominantly a dinner place so it’s pretty empty during lunch. If you have young kids I highly recommend taking them to a place that’s not very crowded. The lack of distractions really helps them focus and get into the conversation. I love those moments as much as she does. Thanks for the great post.

  • http://twitter.com/DavidBaeza David Baeza

    Loved this post. My daughters are 4 and 6, and my 6 year old is at the point that she really loves one on one time. Because she is so young I take her to our local Italian restaurant for a late lunch. They all know her so they treat her like royalty. This is predominantly a dinner place so it's pretty empty during lunch. If you have young kids I highly recommend taking them to a place that's not very crowded. The lack of distractions really helps them focus and get into the conversation. I love those moments as much as she does. Thanks for the great post.

  • http://twitter.com/DavidBaeza David Baeza

    Loved this post. My daughters are 4 and 6, and my 6 year old is at the point that she really loves one on one time. Because she is so young I take her to our local Italian restaurant for a late lunch. They all know her so they treat her like royalty. This is predominantly a dinner place so it's pretty empty during lunch. If you have young kids I highly recommend taking them to a place that's not very crowded. The lack of distractions really helps them focus and get into the conversation. I love those moments as much as she does. Thanks for the great post.

  • http://twitter.com/DavidBaeza David Baeza

    Loved this post. My daughters are 4 and 6, and my 6 year old is at the point that she really loves one on one time. Because she is so young I take her to our local Italian restaurant for a late lunch. They all know her so they treat her like royalty. This is predominantly a dinner place so it's pretty empty during lunch. If you have young kids I highly recommend taking them to a place that's not very crowded. The lack of distractions really helps them focus and get into the conversation. I love those moments as much as she does. Thanks for the great post.

  • http://twitter.com/DavidBaeza David Baeza

    Loved this post. My daughters are 4 and 6, and my 6 year old is at the point that she really loves one on one time. Because she is so young I take her to our local Italian restaurant for a late lunch. They all know her so they treat her like royalty. This is predominantly a dinner place so it's pretty empty during lunch. If you have young kids I highly recommend taking them to a place that's not very crowded. The lack of distractions really helps them focus and get into the conversation. I love those moments as much as she does. Thanks for the great post.

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