The Green Mountain Flyer, a creeper train that putts from St. Johnsbury Vermont into Newport, and back, once a week, was off in the distance about a mile or so. I couldn’t see it yet, but it fired its whistle a few times and, although not really close, it was certainly headed our way. A few minutes more, and it’d be on its way past.
We sat on the edge of the field, Brooke and me and the girls, alongside our dog Shaka. Shaka sat on a blanket in the sun with heavy, sparkless eyes. She had been diagnosed with a long-sounding disease that wasn’t going anywhere and the pain meds to make her moderately more comfortable were darkening the bit of light she had left. So she sat there in the sun while we touched her and did what we could to say things we thought might make her feel better. You’re a good girl Shaka. You’re a good girl.
The relationship I had with my first dog didn’t come easy. At times I was too permissive and other times I was overly aggressive with reprimanding her. Louder than I should have been when she did wrong, and much too quiet when she did right. And she mostly did right.
Still, sitting in the sun with my two daughters, my wife and my dog, I felt sad. My 2 year old wasn’t conscious, really, of what was happening but my 8 year old was. She alternated crying with soft strokes to Shaka’s back. Good girl Shaka. ‘Saying her name makes me feel better Dad’, Dehlia said. Dehlia and her sister were headed up to spend time with relatives while my wife and I got down to the business of putting things in motion with the Vet. My father in law Brendan showed up just about the time we could actually see the Flyer off in the distance. Still moving slow, still headed our way.
I asked Dehlia to say goodbye to Shaka and give her a hug and she did. She walked away holding her sister and Mother’s hand then disappeared behind the barn. Shaka turned her head and tried to stand and follow them but she was too weak and sat back down in a groan. Good girl Shaka. Good girl.
My wife came back after seeing the girls off. ‘I’m not sure I can do this Steven.’ She said, knowing she could. Our Vet, a wonderfully empathetic woman, assured us that it was the right thing to do and that, “Deciding what’s best for your pet at the end of its life is the most difficult and important part of owning them.â€Â This isn’t a sentence I expect to forget soon.
So we laid there on Shaka’s favorite blanket in the sun. Brooke and I would take turns lying next to her telling her things we thought specific to our own relationship with her. “Remember that time I tried to teach you to swimâ€Â? I said, “You would have done much better if I stayed with it, that’s my fault Shaka, I’m sorry I gave up so soon.†I said. “Remember laying in the sand traps back on the golf course. You loved that didn’t you?â€Â Good girl Shaka. Yes, you’re a good girl.
Brooke was sobbing when they came with the needle. A lethal dose of barbiturates that would put our dog to sleep before the chamber was empty. The train was almost on us now and the allegory, however maudlin, wasn’t lost on me. Its whistle fired again and kept rolling. Our Vet administered the shot. You were always a good girl Shaka, always a good girl. We held her close even after she left. She was warm and smelled like our dog and I started missing her immediately.
Steve is the father of two daughters, one wife and works at a ski resort in northern Vermont. You can follow him on Twitter @stevejpr or, if you’re looking for friends, he’s pretty indiscriminate on Facebook
#
Steve, the lump presently in my throat and the tears I am holding back are a testament to this great post. I have had to put down a beloved pet more times than I care to remember and it is never easy, always painful. It is, however, a part of life, and an important reminder/lesson for us and our kids. Like any loss, it quickly puts things in (proper) perspective. Thanks for sharing.
#
Steve, the lump presently in my throat and the tears I am holding back are a testament to this great post. I have had to put down a beloved pet more times than I care to remember and it is never easy, always painful. It is, however, a part of life, and an important reminder/lesson for us and our kids. Like any loss, it quickly puts things in (proper) perspective. Thanks for sharing.
#
Steve, the lump presently in my throat and the tears I am holding back are a testament to this great post. I have had to put down a beloved pet more times than I care to remember and it is never easy, always painful. It is, however, a part of life, and an important reminder/lesson for us and our kids. Like any loss, it quickly puts things in (proper) perspective. Thanks for sharing.
#
Having said goodbye to a few four-legged “best friends” I have been there. Saying goodbye, when it’s only a needle away, is one of the more difficult things I’ve ever done. In my case, my dogs have seemed to know when it’s time and let me know with a plaintive look. Shaka obviously got a good send off, as she deserved.
#
Having said goodbye to a few four-legged “best friends” I have been there. Saying goodbye, when it's only a needle away, is one of the more difficult things I've ever done. In my case, my dogs have seemed to know when it's time and let me know with a plaintive look. Shaka obviously got a good send off, as she deserved.
#
Having said goodbye to a few four-legged “best friends” I have been there. Saying goodbye, when it's only a needle away, is one of the more difficult things I've ever done. In my case, my dogs have seemed to know when it's time and let me know with a plaintive look. Shaka obviously got a good send off, as she deserved.
#
Thanks for the kind words and shared perspective Jeff.
#
Thanks for the kind words and shared perspective Jeff.
#
Thanks for the kind words and shared perspective Jeff.
#
Steve,
I’m right there with Sass- throat lump, holding back tears. I had to go through this about a year ago, and your beautiful post put me right back on the floor of my vet with Aiko on my lap. It always makes me sad to think about that day, but then my thoughts always move on to some of the great times I had with her.
#
Steve,
I'm right there with Sass- throat lump, holding back tears. I had to go through this about a year ago, and your beautiful post put me right back on the floor of my vet with Aiko on my lap. It always makes me sad to think about that day, but then my thoughts always move on to some of the great times I had with her.
#
Steve,
I'm right there with Sass- throat lump, holding back tears. I had to go through this about a year ago, and your beautiful post put me right back on the floor of my vet with Aiko on my lap. It always makes me sad to think about that day, but then my thoughts always move on to some of the great times I had with her.
#
I’m touched. I’ve grown up with dogs, each one a little slice of special times in a slice of a special time in my life, and with each dog comes that fateful day that we realize they live far shorter a life than we do. I’ve been there for this for each dog, minus my current goofy boxer that we got just before my now almost 2 year old daughter was born so she could experience the little luxury that I’ve been lucky to. But watching the life just whisper away from the eyes of an animal you’ve loved unconditionally is always a heartbreaker of heartbreaks. To the friends we’ve lost and to the friends we’ll make. I have to go take my little guy out for a walk now…
#
I'm touched. I've grown up with dogs, each one a little slice of special times in a slice of a special time in my life, and with each dog comes that fateful day that we realize they live far shorter a life than we do. I've been there for this for each dog, minus my current goofy boxer that we got just before my now almost 2 year old daughter was born so she could experience the little luxury that I've been lucky to. But watching the life just whisper away from the eyes of an animal you've loved unconditionally is always a heartbreaker of heartbreaks. To the friends we've lost and to the friends we'll make. I have to go take my little guy out for a walk now…
#
I'm touched. I've grown up with dogs, each one a little slice of special times in a slice of a special time in my life, and with each dog comes that fateful day that we realize they live far shorter a life than we do. I've been there for this for each dog, minus my current goofy boxer that we got just before my now almost 2 year old daughter was born so she could experience the little luxury that I've been lucky to. But watching the life just whisper away from the eyes of an animal you've loved unconditionally is always a heartbreaker of heartbreaks. To the friends we've lost and to the friends we'll make. I have to go take my little guy out for a walk now…
#
RIP Shaka, you are missed and loved, and we just went through this with our old friend thunder, who is now buried in our front yard with a cross fashioned by hands who miss him.
#
RIP Shaka, you are missed and loved, and we just went through this with our old friend thunder, who is now buried in our front yard with a cross fashioned by hands who miss him.
#
RIP Shaka, you are missed and loved, and we just went through this with our old friend thunder, who is now buried in our front yard with a cross fashioned by hands who miss him.
#
I unfortunately did a similar post recently on my blog for the passing of my beloved friend after 14 years. We had to put him down due to a failing liver. There truly are times that we will never forget. It is unfortunate that some of those times are not happy ones.
As long as you have the good memories, it makes these more bearable. I’m sure Shaka is running and playing now with my Nugget.
Hang in there Steve.
http://www.anthonyrussoblog.com/Anthony/2009/05/nugget-we-will-miss-you/
Anthony
Anthony Russo
anthony.russo10@gmail.com
http://www.anthonyrussoblog.com/Anthony
Skype: anth.russo
Twitter: @AnthonyRusso
#
I unfortunately did a similar post recently on my blog for the passing of my beloved friend after 14 years. We had to put him down due to a failing liver. There truly are times that we will never forget. It is unfortunate that some of those times are not happy ones.
As long as you have the good memories, it makes these more bearable. I'm sure Shaka is running and playing now with my Nugget.
Hang in there Steve.
http://www.anthonyrussoblog.com/Anthony/2009/05…
Anthony
Anthony Russo
anthony.russo10@gmail.com
http://www.anthonyrussoblog.com/Anthony
Skype: anth.russo
Twitter: @AnthonyRusso
#
I unfortunately did a similar post recently on my blog for the passing of my beloved friend after 14 years. We had to put him down due to a failing liver. There truly are times that we will never forget. It is unfortunate that some of those times are not happy ones.
As long as you have the good memories, it makes these more bearable. I'm sure Shaka is running and playing now with my Nugget.
Hang in there Steve.
http://www.anthonyrussoblog.com/Anthony/2009/05…
Anthony
Anthony Russo
anthony.russo10@gmail.com
http://www.anthonyrussoblog.com/Anthony
Skype: anth.russo
Twitter: @AnthonyRusso
#
I unfortunately did a similar post recently on my blog for the passing of my beloved friend after 14 years. We had to put him down due to a failing liver. There truly are times that we will never forget. It is unfortunate that some of those times are not happy ones.
As long as you have the good memories, it makes these more bearable. I'm sure Shaka is running and playing now with my Nugget.
Hang in there Steve.
http://www.anthonyrussoblog.com/Anthony/2009/05…
Anthony
Anthony Russo
anthony.russo10@gmail.com
http://www.anthonyrussoblog.com/Anthony
Skype: anth.russo
Twitter: @AnthonyRusso
#
I unfortunately did a similar post recently on my blog for the passing of my beloved friend after 14 years. We had to put him down due to a failing liver. There truly are times that we will never forget. It is unfortunate that some of those times are not happy ones.
As long as you have the good memories, it makes these more bearable. I'm sure Shaka is running and playing now with my Nugget.
Hang in there Steve.
http://www.anthonyrussoblog.com/Anthony/2009/05…
Anthony
Anthony Russo
anthony.russo10@gmail.com
http://www.anthonyrussoblog.com/Anthony
Skype: anth.russo
Twitter: @AnthonyRusso