Before I publicly announced on my website that I had attempted suicide at the age of ten, very few people had any idea.

Of the people who I told, some met my admission with disbelief, a couple with anger and skepticism and there were one or two who refused to hear me. Granted, they didn’t put their fingers in their ears and sing, “la, la, la, la, la” or anything but nonetheless, it was obvious that they were not capable of getting that a ten year old child could be so miserable as to eat a bottle of aspirin and hope for death.

Now that I am a mom, I look back at myself at ten and wonder why didn’t anyone notice? Why didn’t anyone step in and realize that things were not “right” with me and that I needed help?

The answer is that I was very good at playing healthy. I was good at playing happy. I was good at doing what needed to get done so that no one would know just how unhappy I was.

As a mother, it sickens me to think that in a few short years, my daughter will be the age that I was when I first tried to die. I hope against hope that she will not experience some of the things I experienced but there are always things lurking out there to bring our kids down – things we might have no clue about but they are real nonetheless.

One of my biggest suggestions is to consider your kid’s family history.

Does it contain a family member who committed suicide? Is there an aunt who is known as the “crazy aunt” and you really mean it when you call her crazy? There’s a strong hereditary link when it comes to mental illness and many mental illnesses seem to manifest themselves in the early teen years [though they can manifest at any age].

One of the most important things to remember is that not every child exhibits the “classic signs” of suicidal thought/planning; I am the perfect example of this.

Not every child is going to write a suicide note and if they do and don’t go through with it then chances are good that you will never know. As sick as this may sound, for some people, writing that note is a cathartic process that can actually show them exactly what they have to live for.

For others, the note is a VERY bright, red flag.

If you ever find a suicide note or you find something that comes close to even sounding like a suicide note then you need to take immediate action. And by action, I do not mean grounding your kid or demanding that they explain the note. I mean that you make an emergency appointment with a good counselor or psychologist and you do not give in no matter what your child says.

Has your son or daughter been acting “off”? Have they been saying that the world would be better without them or that they are too much trouble?

While I’ve never met a child who does not experience a bit of angst – heck, my almost three year old seems to be named angst…how is THAT for a name – recurring “angst” of this sort is what is know as indirect threats and they might be your only sign that something is seriously wrong.

Talk to your kid.

REALLY talk to them with no outside distractions and try and get to the bottom of what is going on. If you do not feel like you can do that, do not be afraid to enlist the help of a professional. That is what they are there for. That is their job. They have been there and done that and they can be a world of help.

Look for marked behavior changes.

Has your bright and cheery twelve year old suddenly become this child who you do not recognize? Is he/she doing things that you never would have dreamed that they would do like drinking, smoking or skipping school? While that kind of behavior can sometimes be a “teenager thing”, YOU know your child. YOU know what is normal and what is not.

Trust your gut.

One of the most important things to remember is that a kid who is seriously considering suicide is most likely not going to broadcast it. I have never heard of a person saying, “I’m going to kill myself tomorrow. Someone stop me.”. If they mean to die, they are secretive and this is when knowing your child’s friends and habits becomes SO important.

I am not asking you to be your child’s friends’ friend. I am asking you to know who those friends are. To know their phone numbers [or at least their parents’ numbers] and to let those friends see how much you care about your child. If something is going on with your kid, their friends will probably be the first to know.

In the end, you can not save your children from themselves.

I have said already that I am a parent [twice over] and it pains me to write that you ultimately can not stop a determined person from taking their life. BUT, you can intervene if you catch it early and get your child treated.

One of the biggest hurdles for a lot of people is the stigma of seeing a counselor or psychologist.

My way of thinking is that if it helps then who cares what someone might say?

I have been that child, crying out for help when no one had the time or desire to listen. I have been that child who wrote numerous notes and made long lists of plans. I have been that child who needed help and I would have given anything to have had someone who would listen to me.

Listen to your kids because they want you to listen to them.

Image|Paul Watson

Amy Tucker writes at Taste Like Crazy as well as at EveryJoe.com and can usually be found on Twitter @TasteLikeCrazy.