As I was dropping my son off at school (about two hours late – he has a variety of special needs which I’ll discuss later), I said, “I’ll probably be home when you get home.” His immediate response, as he moved on down the hall with his tardy slip, was, “Why?”
“Why,” indeed. I’m not usually home when he gets home because I’m usually at work. As “fate” would have it, however, I got laid off last week along with a sizeable chunk of my co-workers (I don’t generally think of people in chunks, btw). I have not yet told him or his younger brother about this, so I said, “I’ll probably just be home.”
My son is 9 and, as I mentioned, has a variety of special needs (mainly a combo of mood disorder and pervasive developmental disorder). One result is that change makes him anxious. The main reason for school refusal this AM, for example, was Daylight Savings Time; “I want 6 back,” he lamented at 7. Later, discussing the morning on the way to school he said, “I like everything to be the same.”
Personally, I’ve always subscribed to the Heraclitean “All is flux” school of philosophy (although I’m a creature of relentless habit – go figure). I also tend towards the Franklinian (?) “Honesty is the best policy” camp. Nevertheless, I strive to protect and shield him from the abrupt and sometimes harsh fluctuations of reality even as they put me through some drastic changes.
He’s gonna figure out that something’s up sooner or later. Do I gild the lily, or just be matter of fact about it: “I’m not working right now but I’m getting things together.”
What did you do when hard times came to you (or you dad)?
Image courtesy of Believe Collective.
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Wow, sorry to hear about your layoff. Not only can this take a financial toll on a family, but an emotional one as well. Judging by your ambition and your attitude relayed here, I’m optimistic that you’ll bounce back stronger for it.
This will be the first generation of kids that have fathers (and mothers) that have lost their jobs en masse in several decades, so you won’t be alone. I was considering how I’d handle it if the same thing happened as well. I’d like to think I’d put a positive spin on it, like a massive vacation with the family – more time with the kids, more things around the house, trying out new things, etc.
At his age, he’s probably old enough to understand what’s happened, especially if he ever catches news snippets; it’s all the media talks about (self-fulfilling prophecy). An especially cruel kid or moronic parent may make mention of it to him in another forum and it would probably be best if he had already been aware rather than finding out from someone else.
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Wow, sorry to hear about your layoff. Not only can this take a financial toll on a family, but an emotional one as well. Judging by your ambition and your attitude relayed here, I’m optimistic that you’ll bounce back stronger for it.
This will be the first generation of kids that have fathers (and mothers) that have lost their jobs en masse in several decades, so you won’t be alone. I was considering how I’d handle it if the same thing happened as well. I’d like to think I’d put a positive spin on it, like a massive vacation with the family – more time with the kids, more things around the house, trying out new things, etc.
At his age, he’s probably old enough to understand what’s happened, especially if he ever catches news snippets; it’s all the media talks about (self-fulfilling prophecy). An especially cruel kid or moronic parent may make mention of it to him in another forum and it would probably be best if he had already been aware rather than finding out from someone else.
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Thanks for the thoughtful comment.
I ended up telling both of my children that I was no longer working where I had been working. They asked why and I said that the company wasn’t doing that great and that a bunch of us had left and were looking for other jobs. My oldest wanted to know if I was still getting paid. I told him that we had a chunk of money so I wouldn’t have to work while I was looking for something else.
Funnily enough, he said, “I’m glad you’re not working there anymore. You should get a better job where you make more money. You should be a banker!”
I didn’t explain to him what was problematic about that.
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Thanks for the thoughtful comment.
I ended up telling both of my children that I was no longer working where I had been working. They asked why and I said that the company wasn’t doing that great and that a bunch of us had left and were looking for other jobs. My oldest wanted to know if I was still getting paid. I told him that we had a chunk of money so I wouldn’t have to work while I was looking for something else.
Funnily enough, he said, “I’m glad you’re not working there anymore. You should get a better job where you make more money. You should be a banker!”
I didn’t explain to him what was problematic about that.
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Sounds like a great life teaching moment. Step up.
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Sounds like a great life teaching moment. Step up.
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I’m steppin’, Tom. Thanks.
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I’m steppin’, Tom. Thanks.