I found myself staring at my six kids as they milled around the breakfast table yesterday. It brought a smile to my face. So I said, “I love you guys.” They each turned their heads and smiled. It was a nice moment. Then my 8-year-old son said, “Where are you going?”
Where am I going?
That seemed like an odd question to me. So I asked, “Do I have to be going somewhere to tell you I love you?” He said no, but my mind was now in overdrive.
I’m an overly affectionate guy, I think. I’m free with hugs, not just with my kids, but with everyone. I’m not afraid to wear my heart on my sleeve. And I want the people around me to know how much I appreciate them. Before yesterday morning, I would have told you that I randomly tell my children I love them more than the next guy. Clearly I was wrong.
I realize now that the most common time for me to tell my kids I love them is when I’m about to walk into my office, or go to a meeting, or leave on a business trip. It’s hit and run affection. It’s become a parting phrase. I’ve made it a throw away, like, “see you later,” or “have a good day.” That’s not what I want it to be.
My kids know I love them. I have no doubts about that. But his “where are you going” comment was a wake up call. I want my “I love you guys” expressions to be felt, not just heard. That’s going to require that I say it when I can stick around long enough to show it as well.
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I love this post… and no, I’m not going anywhere. 🙂
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I love this post… and no, I’m not going anywhere. 🙂
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Jeff: A great reminder because we don’t know how long we will be around. We learned that years ago when my wife/kids Mom, passed suddenly after a brief illness. To this day, hugs, kisses and I love yous are part of our regular contact whether a phone call, email, visit or whatever (exception – text msgs). They are all adults now with their own lives so I see it as more important than ever.
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Jeff: A great reminder because we don’t know how long we will be around. We learned that years ago when my wife/kids Mom, passed suddenly after a brief illness. To this day, hugs, kisses and I love yous are part of our regular contact whether a phone call, email, visit or whatever (exception – text msgs). They are all adults now with their own lives so I see it as more important than ever.
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Ah, this is very sweet. Funny how the little ones are so perceptive, they teach us a lot.
kk
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Ah, this is very sweet. Funny how the little ones are so perceptive, they teach us a lot.
kk
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Geez, what great thoughts, Jeff. My wife and I may inadvertently promote that attitude sometimes when we — jokingly, at least to us — will say to our 15-year-old, “OK, what do you want?” when she says “I love you.” I think we’re going to have to be a little careful about that in the future!
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Geez, what great thoughts, Jeff. My wife and I may inadvertently promote that attitude sometimes when we — jokingly, at least to us — will say to our 15-year-old, “OK, what do you want?” when she says “I love you.” I think we’re going to have to be a little careful about that in the future!
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Haven’t we discussed this before? I don’t do “I love you’s” – I don’t do automatic phrases at all (not saying you do either) – I don’t even make my kids say “I’m sorry” unless they really REALLY mean it. Even at church I’m bothered by all the routine stuff that we do without really thinking…..maybe my son is right I do have anger management issues. 🙂
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Haven’t we discussed this before? I don’t do “I love you’s” – I don’t do automatic phrases at all (not saying you do either) – I don’t even make my kids say “I’m sorry” unless they really REALLY mean it. Even at church I’m bothered by all the routine stuff that we do without really thinking…..maybe my son is right I do have anger management issues. 🙂
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Oh, but sometimes actions speak so much louder than words.
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Oh, but sometimes actions speak so much louder than words.
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Dammit! You made me cry! Your kids are lucky kids. You and Rocky … well, unbeatable.
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Dammit! You made me cry! Your kids are lucky kids. You and Rocky … well, unbeatable.
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Jeff, your son has taught us (busy parents) a good lesson. Undoubtedly, all of us love our children. But still, sometimes we need to show our love to let them feel that we really love and care for them. After all, they are kids and we should never take them for granted. Rather than saying “I love you†as a goodbye note, we should try to convey the actual meaning.
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Jeff, your son has taught us (busy parents) a good lesson. Undoubtedly, all of us love our children. But still, sometimes we need to show our love to let them feel that we really love and care for them. After all, they are kids and we should never take them for granted. Rather than saying “I love you†as a goodbye note, we should try to convey the actual meaning.
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Jeff, your son has taught us (busy parents) a good lesson. Undoubtedly, all of us love our children. But still, sometimes we need to show our love to let them feel that we really love and care for them. After all, they are kids and we should never take them for granted. Rather than saying “I love you†as a goodbye note, we should convey the actual meaning.
#
Jeff, your son has taught us (busy parents) a good lesson. Undoubtedly, all of us love our children. But still, sometimes we need to show our love to let them feel that we really love and care for them. After all, they are kids and we should never take them for granted. Rather than saying “I love you†as a goodbye note, we should convey the actual meaning.
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We’re a big I Love You family (and we have a unique family as it is) so the affection runs rampant. My 4 year old taped a sign on the pantry door that said I Love You and any time anyone went in there, he’d have to run over and give them a hug.
I try not to say it to the loves in my life as a parting, but rather any time they do something that makes me smile or get chills or feel proud of them. I hope they get that.
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We’re a big I Love You family (and we have a unique family as it is) so the affection runs rampant. My 4 year old taped a sign on the pantry door that said I Love You and any time anyone went in there, he’d have to run over and give them a hug.
I try not to say it to the loves in my life as a parting, but rather any time they do something that makes me smile or get chills or feel proud of them. I hope they get that.
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