Curses! Soap Tastes Like $#*%!

Mar 29th, 2009 | By Jeff Sass | Category: Advice, Article, Humor

Curses!  It is clear that our society has become more and more accepting of what was once considered “foul language” (not to be confused with “gobble, gobble” or “tweet, tweet” which is a different kind of “fowl language”).  Words that were strictly verboten when I was a kid are now regularly spoken (and thus heard) on the radio, primetime television, and even on the evening news.  I can actually remember the days when unless you were clearly talking about a donkey you would not dare use the word “ass” in public, let alone on television!  Now that particular word is as commonplace as its heretofore unassuming common suffix, “hole,” and even the once shocking combination of those two words has weaved its way into fairly widespread acceptance in our mass media.  Please don’t take these observations as a condemnation as I am far from a friggin’ prude, and I have certainly been known to sprinkle in an occasional “f-bomb” for emphasis amidst my otherwise carefully chosen words.

FROM OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES…

As parents, this linguistic loosening of standards presents us with a particular challenge as we know our kids are exposed to such language and we witness words that we may use “among us adults” creep into their vocabulary.  Things you might hear with a smile at the office water cooler can make you cringe when heard from the mouths of babes… especially when they are YOUR babes!  This is bad when your kids are young, and frankly, it is just as hard when your kids are grown.  I still find myself admonishing my 20 year old to “clean up” his vocabulary, explaining that while it may be how all your friends talk, when you get used to it and it follows you into your school and professional conversation, it makes you sound, well, ignorant.

“I’LL WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP!”

Recently, at my office, someone placed a “curse jar” in the conference room and we started a policy of contributing $1.00 to the “beer and snacks” fund every time someone “cursed” during a meeting.  As I watched the greenbacks rising within the jar, I was reminded of my own attempts to clean up our verbal acts in my household a few years back.  At the time, I stepped into the trap of the old standard “washing your mouth out with soap” and stepped it up a notch by threatening that “the next time someone in this house curses they will have to take a bite out of a bar of soap!”  As fate would have it (and much to the delight of my three children), it was I who first slipped and let forth a forbidden word.  As my three kids admonished, “DAD!” in unison, I realized with dread that I had no choice but to teach by example and live by the rules I had just set an hour or so ago…

SOAP BITES!

Kids in tow, we marched to the nearest bathroom, and after much hesitation and even more “cheering on” by my giggling brood, I did the deed.  I picked up a semi-sudsy bar of Irish Spring and took a taste, leaving a healthy set of teeth marks where I bit off my punishment.  With kids laughing to tears and me making wrinkled faces of pain and disgust, I chewed, swallowed…. and promptly vomited in the sink!  Needless to say, laughter quickly turned to hysteria as the kids saw their dad suffer the pains of the profanity once spoken.

If you should ever meet or speak with me, be forewarned that I may well drop a few curse words in our adult conversation, but rest assured it will be a long time before I drop a bomb in front of my kids… they have the soap ready and waiting!

How about you?  How do you deal with the curse of commonplace cursing???

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 20, Ethan, 18 and Olivia, 17).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

Photo Credit: © red2000 – Fotolia.com

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