I travel a lot lately, and one thing I’m asked quite often is how I recharge or how I maintain my life balance. Let me start by saying that I haven’t really figured out a great balance for my life, but I can say that I am doing lots to keep it all juggled. I wanted to write a quick post about this before I take my family out to breakfast, if only to explain this part of the lifestyle of a hard-working small business owner.
First, a Snapshot of My Life
I’m president of a small business called New Marketing Labs. I am also a professional speaker. Between these two roles, I travel at least once a week most weeks and have been since the beginning of 2009 (before then, I still traveled, but maybe only once a month). The longest stretch I’ve gone away from my family was two solid weeks, which was quite a push.
When I’m on the road, I haven’t had the ability to connect visually with my family because my wife’s laptop died a short while back, killing the possibility of Skype. We’ve fixed that, but for quite a while, I could only talk with everyone on the phone. If you have young kids (mine are 7 and 3), you know that’s sometimes like pulling teeth.
It’s life right now. I do a lot of things, have a ton of business on my plate, and am providing (I hope) for a good future for my family.
When I come home, I am FULLY focused on my family. I give them as much time and love as I can. We go places. We play rough (because that’s a Daddy game in our household). We giggle and joke and read tons and tons of books together. We go to the lake and the ocean (as the weather gets better).
How I Recharge
As a Dad, my goals when I’m off the road are to get myself reset for whatever the next trip is, and then try and connect as much as possible with the family. I give my wife time off to go to the movies, go out with friends, go shopping, or whatever else she’s had to sacrifice while being, essentially, a single mom the whole time I’m gone. During that time, I engage my kids in things that I connect on with them. For example, my daughter and I read and draw together (Mom does the messier art, as I’m a bit twitchy about that). My son and I play with trains and wrestle and roughhouse a lot (Hey, my daughter likes fighting, too, but she’s getting pretty tough at 7).
You might notice that my family’s reconnection comes first before any kind of personal recharge. It’s because I want them repaid for their efforts while I’m away. I want them to know they’re every bit as much part of the team and that I love them and am grateful for them. Thus, I do what I can to reconnect and recharge them before tackling myself.
Some Specifics to Consider
- Often times, I get a cheap airport hotel room the night before I fly or the night I come back. One reason is we have 1 car, and this makes retrieval easier. The other reason is that I can get one attempt more at sleep before reconnecting.
- Now when I travel, I try to sneak off to my room and unplug every now and again. My personal batteries need recharging, and that requires me to go offline for a bit.
- When I can, I try and have smaller meals with fewer folks while on the road. I love big meetups, but I recharge by having smaller conversations later.
- I find my way into bookstores and books when I can. Reading about other people’s lives or learning business strategies recharges me.
- I’m finally getting back into my body a bit. I did some hiking in Seattle that powered that rebirth.
- Now that we repaired the laptop at home, I Skype video with my kids while I’m away so that we can see each other. They like seeing my various hotel rooms.
- I am trying hard to set better boundaries around what is work time and what is not (not succeeding yet).
- When I get home, I make sure to talk lots and lots about what my family has been doing, and give them all the air first. Then, when they feel satisfied that I know what they’ve been doing, I know we’ll talk a little about wherever I’ve been.
- I try hard not to interrupt family time with work. My business partners and clients often respect this.
It’s not perfect, but I’m working on it all the time. It’s one of my most important projects.
What about you? How do you balance it all?
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Chris,
I’m so glad you linked over here from your other blog. I always enjoy your posts at chrisbrogan.com, but you offered a whole new perspective in this venue. Thank you for sharing your personal thoughts on the subject of balance – your successes and your failures.
As the single mom of a vivacious, 5 yr-old daughter, I relate only too well to the challenges of balancing all-that-we-must-do-in-life with really-living-life. Like you, I’m a business owner, though only in the smallest sense of the word “business” since – for now – it’s just lil’ old me. Since all my work is virtual and done from a home office, the line between worklife and domestic live is blurry, to say the least.
Here are a few things that I’ve found helpful when it comes to striking that elusive balance(though, like you, my adherance to these is definitely a work-in-progress 🙂
* I have clients on both coasts, so differences in when the “work day” starts and ends can create issues. I try to be very up front with all my clients about my truly available times so that they aren’t inadvertantly scheduling conference calls during bedtime stories.
* When I am in mommy mode, I will sometimes shut my computer down completely. If the damn thing is up and running, I have a hard time resisting the urge to “quickly check” things like incoming email, comments on blog posts, etc. “Luckily” for me, booting up my laptop can be a lengthy process, so once it’s off, there’s a good chance I won’t go near it until I’m really ready to get back to work.
* I haven’t purchased this for myself (yet!), but one of my west coast clients uses a phone service that forwards calls with the option to answer or not. It’s a great way for work-at-home people like me to screen business calls that come in on a personal line. (It has also saved me from countless embarassing situations that would have resulted had my daughter been able to immediately answer the call!)
* I’m trying VERY hard to unlearn my tendency to multi-task. Though my day often includes many roles – mom, writer, project manager, volunteer, daughter, friend, singer, entrepreneur, and so on – I am trying to teach myself to truly focus on one thing at a time. Seems simple, but not always so.
* Lastly, I try to have a little down time each day. Even if it’s only 10 minutes watching a week-old Daily Show monologue, taking a little time for me helps me to give more back to my family, my business, and my community.
Thanks again for sharing your challenges and insights, and thank you for being in the “social media space” … your voice is one that always brings me clarity and inspiration.
Best,
Jamie
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Chris,
I’m so glad you linked over here from your other blog. I always enjoy your posts at chrisbrogan.com, but you offered a whole new perspective in this venue. Thank you for sharing your personal thoughts on the subject of balance – your successes and your failures.
As the single mom of a vivacious, 5 yr-old daughter, I relate only too well to the challenges of balancing all-that-we-must-do-in-life with really-living-life. Like you, I’m a business owner, though only in the smallest sense of the word “business” since – for now – it’s just lil’ old me. Since all my work is virtual and done from a home office, the line between worklife and domestic live is blurry, to say the least.
Here are a few things that I’ve found helpful when it comes to striking that elusive balance(though, like you, my adherance to these is definitely a work-in-progress 🙂
* I have clients on both coasts, so differences in when the “work day” starts and ends can create issues. I try to be very up front with all my clients about my truly available times so that they aren’t inadvertantly scheduling conference calls during bedtime stories.
* When I am in mommy mode, I will sometimes shut my computer down completely. If the damn thing is up and running, I have a hard time resisting the urge to “quickly check” things like incoming email, comments on blog posts, etc. “Luckily” for me, booting up my laptop can be a lengthy process, so once it’s off, there’s a good chance I won’t go near it until I’m really ready to get back to work.
* I haven’t purchased this for myself (yet!), but one of my west coast clients uses a phone service that forwards calls with the option to answer or not. It’s a great way for work-at-home people like me to screen business calls that come in on a personal line. (It has also saved me from countless embarassing situations that would have resulted had my daughter been able to immediately answer the call!)
* I’m trying VERY hard to unlearn my tendency to multi-task. Though my day often includes many roles – mom, writer, project manager, volunteer, daughter, friend, singer, entrepreneur, and so on – I am trying to teach myself to truly focus on one thing at a time. Seems simple, but not always so.
* Lastly, I try to have a little down time each day. Even if it’s only 10 minutes watching a week-old Daily Show monologue, taking a little time for me helps me to give more back to my family, my business, and my community.
Thanks again for sharing your challenges and insights, and thank you for being in the “social media space” … your voice is one that always brings me clarity and inspiration.
Best,
Jamie
#
I’ve found that the best things I’ve learned from parenting have translated into my professional life: get enough rest; incorporate all of the food groups into your meals (whether you are on the go or at home); read everything you can on the topic at hand (tantrums, naps, nutrition, blogs, tweeting, social media); respect others; communicate, stay active; and most importantly, be consistent. And, throw in a whole bunch of fun while you’re at it. All of those things, every one of them, is incorporated into how I raise my kids, live my marriage, do my work, interact with customers, and manage my relationships with all of the important people in my life. The time thing? That takes discipline; something I am still working on everyday, but that’s when you look to others to curtail the challenges and lighten the load and help you get to where you need to be and to cool technology to stay in touch.
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I’ve found that the best things I’ve learned from parenting have translated into my professional life: get enough rest; incorporate all of the food groups into your meals (whether you are on the go or at home); read everything you can on the topic at hand (tantrums, naps, nutrition, blogs, tweeting, social media); respect others; communicate, stay active; and most importantly, be consistent. And, throw in a whole bunch of fun while you’re at it. All of those things, every one of them, is incorporated into how I raise my kids, live my marriage, do my work, interact with customers, and manage my relationships with all of the important people in my life. The time thing? That takes discipline; something I am still working on everyday, but that’s when you look to others to curtail the challenges and lighten the load and help you get to where you need to be and to cool technology to stay in touch.
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Hello, Chris,
My name is Jim Horrell and I found your article by clicking on a discussion from Chris Kokalis
in the mkelive – Connecting People group on linked-in . I am in the process of writing my first book in my spare time. It is truly an enlightening experience.
Previously I worked at a printing company in Hartland, Wisconsin in the Information Technology department. I have been writing customized programs for the company for 15 years. In October, 2008, I was laid off. I spent the next several months looking for a software development position in the Milwaukee or Waukesha, Wisconsin area. Even after several months, I am still on the hunt.
Our son was born with a congenital heart defect. He has had 5 heart surgeries and may require more throughout his life. He also has additional heatlh problems, some of which also involved surgery. He is 14 now, and his heart is stable.
The book which I am currently writing is a collection of short stories about some life experiences we had raising a child with special needs. Even when I was working, I thought to myself, if something ever happens and I wasn’t doing software development, I’d want to write.
The job search has been and continues to be long and frustrating for me. There just does not seem to be many employment opportunities matching my skills. So, when I have a chance I write a story or two in my notebook. I spent some time just brainstorming on my own about different events that have happened as our son was growing up. I was surprised to come up with so many ideas.
As I started to write, and the ideas began to flow, a magical feeling came over me. I have not been the best of father’s the past several months. Looking for work, spending a lot of time on the computer, spending hours at networking events hoping to find the right person with the right opportunity had taken its toll. I was craby, and tired.
However, when I started to write, my whole outlook changed dramatically. It may have taken me several months to finally figure out that the opportunity for me to do what I love is right in front of me. I had finally found the one opportunity that only I was uniquely qualified for. Only, I could write this collection of short stories, some humorous, some inspiring, because I am the only one who has the experience necessary to write this book from the perspective of a father to our son. As I read the stories to our son, we would laugh and hug and love. It was a super feeling.
I have shared my idea with several people. Many of them were very supportive. I was pleased to see such warmth and understanding from some people I really just met, and from others I have known for many years.
Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to share my story with you and your readers.
If you or your readers would like to contact me please e-mail me:
jr*******@li**.com
#
Hello, Chris,
My name is Jim Horrell and I found your article by clicking on a discussion from Chris Kokalis
in the mkelive – Connecting People group on linked-in . I am in the process of writing my first book in my spare time. It is truly an enlightening experience.
Previously I worked at a printing company in Hartland, Wisconsin in the Information Technology department. I have been writing customized programs for the company for 15 years. In October, 2008, I was laid off. I spent the next several months looking for a software development position in the Milwaukee or Waukesha, Wisconsin area. Even after several months, I am still on the hunt.
Our son was born with a congenital heart defect. He has had 5 heart surgeries and may require more throughout his life. He also has additional heatlh problems, some of which also involved surgery. He is 14 now, and his heart is stable.
The book which I am currently writing is a collection of short stories about some life experiences we had raising a child with special needs. Even when I was working, I thought to myself, if something ever happens and I wasn’t doing software development, I’d want to write.
The job search has been and continues to be long and frustrating for me. There just does not seem to be many employment opportunities matching my skills. So, when I have a chance I write a story or two in my notebook. I spent some time just brainstorming on my own about different events that have happened as our son was growing up. I was surprised to come up with so many ideas.
As I started to write, and the ideas began to flow, a magical feeling came over me. I have not been the best of father’s the past several months. Looking for work, spending a lot of time on the computer, spending hours at networking events hoping to find the right person with the right opportunity had taken its toll. I was craby, and tired.
However, when I started to write, my whole outlook changed dramatically. It may have taken me several months to finally figure out that the opportunity for me to do what I love is right in front of me. I had finally found the one opportunity that only I was uniquely qualified for. Only, I could write this collection of short stories, some humorous, some inspiring, because I am the only one who has the experience necessary to write this book from the perspective of a father to our son. As I read the stories to our son, we would laugh and hug and love. It was a super feeling.
I have shared my idea with several people. Many of them were very supportive. I was pleased to see such warmth and understanding from some people I really just met, and from others I have known for many years.
Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to share my story with you and your readers.
If you or your readers would like to contact me please e-mail me:
jr*******@li**.com
#
Thanks for sharing this, Chris. Life balance is a big one. I recently came home from a trip to New York fairly exhausted and started blogging about how hard it is to be a traveling mom. It’s gotten a little easier. My daughter is seven, the dogs go to the kennel, and we have friends who lend my husband a hand when I’m gone. But it’s still tough. I’m taking a couple months off this summer from appearances (and I’m still only doing one or two a month) to regroup and recharge. And I have to say, it feels great already. Hope you and your family have a great summer. Love the beach out by where you are. Used to go there all the time when I was a kid and teen. As for us, we’ll be hitting the Oregon Coast.
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Thanks for sharing this, Chris. Life balance is a big one. I recently came home from a trip to New York fairly exhausted and started blogging about how hard it is to be a traveling mom. It’s gotten a little easier. My daughter is seven, the dogs go to the kennel, and we have friends who lend my husband a hand when I’m gone. But it’s still tough. I’m taking a couple months off this summer from appearances (and I’m still only doing one or two a month) to regroup and recharge. And I have to say, it feels great already. Hope you and your family have a great summer. Love the beach out by where you are. Used to go there all the time when I was a kid and teen. As for us, we’ll be hitting the Oregon Coast.
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I like to ride horses. With three kids and two wives (one ex) and a yellow lab puppy its the only thing that allows me to breath and clear my mind completely…
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I like to ride horses. With three kids and two wives (one ex) and a yellow lab puppy its the only thing that allows me to breath and clear my mind completely…