Hi, my name is Stu Andrews. I’ve been a husband for ten years now, and a Dad for seven of those. Four kids so far.

The idea of “Self” is prevalent in our society today, just as it has been throughout the ages. Philosophers in the first century thought up spheres of thinking that centered around our Selves. Companies today pour millions and billions of dollars into advertising and marketing and branding that orbits and centers and hones in on our Selves.

The idea of “Unself”, or as it is really “Unselfishness”, is a stark opposite to “Self”. It is not just putting others first, but putting yourself last. It’s about a change of heart, and a change in action.

Love inspires us to be unselfish. To drag yourself out of bed in the chill of early morning to cover one of the kids with the blanket they’ve kicked off. To stand and rock the baby to sleep, because they have an inbuilt accelerometer that goes off any time you *think* about sitting down. To say goodbye to your child on their first day of school when every fibre of your being wants them to stay with you, to not begin that journey away. 

The battle between Self and Unself will not, I’m sure, end before we die. Each day it’s hard. Hard to snap out of a thought-process to look at the latest drawing. Hard to put back up the tarpaulin tent in the back yard. Hard to read again at bed time, to brush everyone’s teeth. These particular actions will fall away, but I’m sure (and there’s plenty of you out there with teenage and older kids) others will take their place.

Every Dad makes bad decisions. Every Dad will get angry, or turn away, or neglect at some point. But every Dad *should* battle his Self and grasp hold of Unselfishness. He should fight his Self to apologise to his children. Not every Dad does this. You probably know of people, maybe you are one yourself, who had a terrible childhood.

But if you are a Dad, then you should know intimately about the battle between Self and Unself. 

When I think about my kids, despite my failings, it’s true Love that fills me. It’s like a never-ending well. It sings, sometimes to bursting. And this fills me with hope. That I can be a better Dad, a better Husband. That my kids will be raised in Love.

 

Technical Issue: Apologies, am having trouble with the wordpress editor, it’s not remembering any “style” vars. Will investigate further.

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