In our house full of boys (One dad, two sons, two boy cats, a boy dog and a rotating menagerie of bugs of indeterminate gender), we hold one truth to be self-evident: mom is special. Mom doesn’t get much “girl time” at our place, but she does have seemingly unlimited opportunity to be hassled, annoyed or otherwise rebuffed by one boy or another. Thus, I have taken it upon myself to ensure that mom gets respect from her sons.
Our boys, aged 4 and 7, understand at a basic cellular level that mom is to be loved and cared for. The opportunity occasionally arises (or, put another way: not a week goes by) for me to have a little chat with one son or another. It usually goes like this, with me on my knees for eye contact, and real close to them, so they aren’t embarrassed by other people hearing our conversation:
Dad: I heard you were hassling mom.
Son: Yeah/I guess so/Yessir
Dad: Who is the most important person in our house?
Son: Mom.
Dad: Right. What do we know about mom?
Son: We love mom.
Dad: How do we show it?
Son: We don’t talk back to her.
Dad: What else?
Son: Snuggle her.
Dad: What else?
Son: Be kind to her.
Dad: Anything else?
Son: Take care of her.
Dad: Were you caring for mom when you did ‘X’?
Son: No.
Dad: Okay. You better go give mom some love.
Son: (shuffles off to hug mom and say sorry)
This probably qualifies as a bit of a rant, but I swear, one of the most important parts of raising boys is to instill in them a strong respect for women. And it starts at home. Even if your boys don’t have a mom in the house, I bet you know at least a few female candidates who’d appreciate the positive attention from your son(s).
Moms really are special. Don’t save the love for Mother’s Day.
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Brendon, you make me proud
) and Dick would be proud to keep up the good work 
)
This is a perfect example of how things could be handled for just about any incident. If you don’t mind the cut and paste.
Dad: I heard you were throwing rocks at the dog.
Son: Yeah/I guess so/Yessir
Dad: What did you guys ask for last Christmas?
Son: A dog.
Dad: Right. What do we know about the dog?
Son: We love the dog.
Dad: How do we show it?
Son: We don’t throw rocks at her.
Dad: What else?
Son: Pet her.
Dad: What else?
Son: Feed her.
Dad: Anything else?
Son: Take care of her.
Dad: Were you caring for the dog when you did ‘X’?
Son: No.
Dad: Okay. You better go play with the dog and be sweet.
Son: (shuffles off to go play with dog)
I think the danger is you have to be civil and not to harsh or they may show a bit of anger toward mom/dog/pane glass windows/neighbor girls in transference. I like that you added the bit about being quiet and on their level so as not to embarrass them. That’s huge. It’s going to be rough on them to get busted, but to call them out in front of people is worse.
I like this entry.
@Mikell: (blushes) Thanks. Means a lot that you think Dick would be proud. (note to readers: Mikell is the mom of an old friend of mine…Dick is her late husband)
@xadrian: Good point. It really is a good way to handle stuff, even if I do say so myself.
I love this post. Our boys learn how to be men from us dads. Our boys learn how to treat girls/women from us as well. Interestingly I have heard that girls learn their femininity from their fathers as well. Let’s take our responsibility in both regards seriously.
This was a wonderful post. And it’s a lesson any father should learn.
Ummm, was I just compared to a dog?
kidding.
nice approach-
Any man who would admit that the number 1 spot in the house is mom, is OK in my book
Nice post.
that was awesome! I love it. Your sons are surely going to be great men one day, thanks to having a dad like you. I hope the man I marry reads this post and learns from it
r0ck0n
r0ck0n.wordpress.com
Thats really very very sweet. I think its great the way you’re explaining it to our kids and I’m sure they’re gonna grow up to respect you and their mum (and other women too) a lot
Oh, so refreshing to read about healthy family relationships. We need more of this in the world today!
I think it’s so wonderful that you teach your boys to respect their mom. That will stick with them forever.
Off to forward this to my husband…LOL.
Brilliant post. Love it. Mom is lucky to have all of you… and the snuggles.
very good…must show this to the lads in my house
Love this!! Thanks for posting. Totally sharing it with my husband.
Thanks Dad. This is just beautiful and I bet your wife really appreciates it. I have to say thought, mom's have to remember not to make Dad always the bad guy.
Keep up the good work, someday your son's wives will thank you very much.
Debbie
Thanks Dad. This is just beautiful and I bet your wife really appreciates it. I have to say thought, mom's have to remember not to make Dad always the bad guy.
Keep up the good work, someday your son's wives will thank you very much.
Debbie