The Journey Episode 2: Attention To Detail

Dec 10th, 2009 | By Devon White | Category: Advice, Video

Here’s the next post in my journey – it is in part a response to Jeff Sass’ post

Upfront disclaimer: In this post I compare child raising to dog training.
Also, there is an appearance by the star of the show, Miles!

Here’s the video:

For those parents too busy to watch, here’s the summary:

The other day I was reflecting on how much work is really involved in raising a child and I realized that it’s much more than I had really been thinking. Here’s the gist…

* Everything begins with what you and your partner/husband/wife want for your child or children.
* This is then adjusted to fit the actual child you have (constant updates are necessary as your child develops so that you notice who they really are as opposed to who you want them to be). In other words, if you have a kid with no natural dexterity but who loves to sing and draw, you want to notice and encourage their natural strengths and proclivities rather than forcing them to ‘fix their weaknesses’. Those instead will come along in time.
* Add to those things a working knowledge of the stages of neurological development (here’s a very basic primer: http://humanoperatingsystem.org/progressiveparents/ages_and_stages.pdf)
* Once you have some sense of who your kid is, what you want for them and the basics of neural development, begin paying attention to everything they do and making sure that you give them clear yes/no signals keeping them on track for who they are becoming.
* Enjoy yourself

Devon White is a professional neurohacker and the lead developer of the Human Operating System. He is father to Miles. He blogs on Dadomatic.com about his journey as a father.

Deep Background

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  • Devon,

    As always a very informative posting with a lot of great conceptual knowledge. Thanks for putting these ideas out there. Miles looks great and full of life. See you soon,

    Dennis
  • Dear Devon,

    I am continuing to pull much inspiration and tools from these posts. It is interesting as you come from a different approach than I do yet so similar in its intention. Loved seeing the vibrant spirit of your son and his lovely expressiveness. I am all about honoring and celebrating the innate creativity and natural beauty and wonder of my son and other children. I really appreciate the guidance and reminder about rituals. Skye and I do a lot of dreamwork and now will add a dream candle..love it. My triggers went up in comparison to dogs and brainwashing from your last however when I took time to get by my spiritual attachments to how things "should" be expressed I recognize what you have to say is completely aligned with my own intentions and motivations as a Mom.

    Peace and blessings
  • Great to see Miles in this video Devon, and if I helped inspire the post, thank you!. ;-) I've had far more success raising my kids than my dogs, and your point about attention is probably the answer. The good news is I did try to pay attention to the kids. The bad news is I was not so diligent with the dogs (and I have the soiled carpets and chewed furniture to prove it...). Thanks again for continuing to share your journey!
  • Tivo
    Hi,

    Great posting. It's a reminder for being explicit for what you want for your child and blending it with who they are already from birth. I liked the dog example that highlighted the amount of attention, basically all the time to bring forward how you want your pet to unfold. I didn't hear the importance of stories and the big story that they orient towards. Perhaps on the next posting.

    Best,

    T
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