OK, my brothers. When you was solo and needed to get some, you knew the drill. High rep light curls at the gym. New shirt and shave. Slap on some smellgood. Aaawwwww, yeeeaaa.

Wassat? Things have changed? The old tricks don’t inspire business time the way they used to, you say? Well pull up a chair, my brother, because the big man got a secret you need knowin.

Few things will summon the sweet sounds of horizontal mambo like the performance of… ready?… household chores.

Dass right. Your wife ain’t down with the charms of the Drakkar Noir you got in 1987. Put it away, my brother. That girl is tired. She need some extra special attention. She need to know you’re in touch with what she’s up against. She need to know you’re in it together. You gotta be shoulder-to-shoulder before you can be ugly-to-ugly, my brother.

Yea, yea, it’s cool. Downside is you gotta do the chore itself, though. Well chill on down, because I got the perfect choice for guys like me and you. The secret, my brother, is laundry.

Speaking for myself, I cook anyway. And sure, you can pretend you’re mowing astroturf while you vacuum, but that’s gonna take up an hour of your weekend. Laundry, on the other hand, has a bursty rhythm that lends itself to short naps, magazine articles, and playoff games. Laundry from start to finish is periodic bursts of something-you-gotta-do with big chunks of nothing in between.

And nothing moves the libido of your average exhausted child-caring, household-maintaining, middle-aged female like the wafting scent of Gain extra strength being poured all sexy-like (or not) by the man who loves her. Don’t even say anything… just pop in the darks and kick back on the couch for an hour. Then there’s 5 minutes of dryer transfer, and an hour after that some casual folding in front of the TV. At some point she’ll notice, and you just say “I’m doing the laundry, baby. I know you’ve had a busy week, and I thought this would help.” Later on you make your move.

AAAAwwwwwww, yeeeeaaaaaaaa, baby.  Give it a shot, let me know how it goes.

Related posts:

1. Family Secrets Don’t Have To Embarrass You! Everyone has family secrets…things that all the relatives know, but...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.