The REAL Expertise of the Child Development Experts

Dec 16th, 2009 | By Jason of Kim & Jason | Category: Article

091806_pregnantI am convinced that all the child development books written by so-called “experts” are designed for the sole purpose of driving you insane.

Even though most of the books tell you there will be variances between children at different stages, and that every kid is different, they still group the chapters in such a way that effectively puts all the kids in one box. Last night I picked up one of the guides my wife has been devouring all year. After a few minutes, I was about ready to dial 911 and ask for an über pediatrician, stat.

There was a sample list of the types of things Lucy should be eating in a given day. 6 servings of this, 4 servings of that, a half-cup here, a quarter-cup there. I mentally added it all up and it seemed more like what Jabba the Hut would eat at Old Country Buffet. Of course the book threw in the ever helpful and obligatory, “Your child might not eat very much for some meals,” and “Your child may go through stages of only wanting to eat certain foods.”

Right. And how exactly am I supposed to get her to eat a bread truck’s amount of grain when all she wants to eat is shredded cheese again?

The extremes drive me crazy, and I question whether these books are of any help at all. Considering Lucy is my first child, I realize I am as far as you can get from an expert on child development, but it seems to me like she’s developing just fine. She’s not too fat and not too skinny. She’s learning new things, seems very curious, and previous doctor visits have indicated a full bill of health.

Since Lucy is starting to stand on her own, I got pretty excited when I read, “At this stage, your child may start pulling herself up on things.” It confirmed my suspicion that my little girl is quite the overachiever.

But the doubts quickly crept in when I read the following sentence, “Your child may also be solving algebraic equations by now.”

Yikes.

After about ten minutes on this literary roller coaster, I closed the book, put it down, and vowed never to open it again. Considering my wife reads this book regularly, I am surprised that she is not a complete basket case. As for me, I’ve decided to ignore the books and go with my gut.

Sometimes I think that’s the best thing we can do.

And right now, my gut is telling me that it’s high time for a trip to Old Country Buffet.

Jason Kotecki is a dad who also moonlights as an artist, author, and professional speaker. Jason and his wife Kim (a former kindergarten teacher) make it their mission in life to fight Adultitis and help people use strategies from childhood to create lives with less stress and more fun. Stop by www.KimandJason.com and follow them on Twitter @kimandjason

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  • Jason, I think the problem is the people who think they are experts. i've been on a tear about this lately and quite frankly we are the experts. We the ones who are out there doing it, being a dad, and going with our gut. These "Experts" do studies and talk in generalities but their info doesn't apply to any single situation only to the generalities. As a matter of fact it's those experts that make a blog like this possible.
  • Indeed. I agree with your expert opinion :)
  • I didn't mention this in my initial comment because I'm new to the blog but I should point out that I have a project under way - Started on Thanksgiving - to write a book about Dad's by dad's - I'm starting with a general survey and then going to do more detailed follow-up interviews. You can find out more about the project at www.TheDADvocateProject.com
  • David_N_Wilson
    You nailed this one. It always reminds me of the cartoon "The Rug Rats" with Dr. Lipshitz and his child-rearing book. Kids are people. People are unique. You provide the best environment you know how, don't overanalyze things, and hope for the best. If you try to figure out why your child is doing something they shouldn't be able to, or why they can't do something a book says they SHOULD be able to do too many times, you start losing all perspective.
  • Amen, brother.

    Is his name really Lipshitz? That's hilarious.
  • LOVE the Comic!!!!!!!!!!!

    I have fond memories about not swallowing seeds!
  • Thanks Heath! My wife is a former kindergarten teacher and one time kids spilled seeds down the drain of the sink. They actually started growing and it caused quite a situation. Needless to say, the maintenance man was NOT happy. Sink drains are not the same as stomachs, but who wants to take the chance? :)
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