Hi Jeff,

I couldn’t resist chiming in. In 2005, my teen son excitedly told me about MySpace. He knew I was an aficionado of less-well known music, and suggested I hop on board. Neither of us ever thought *not* to friend the other; I imagine we have more transparency than most parent-child relationships, but my son’s a good kid, too. Literally a Boy Scout at the time. Because of my son’s suggestion, I became professionally interested in social media and now use it full time to help my employer engage a broader community.

My son has always read my non-work blogs (as well as my work blogs), but then again I have to point out that some blogging platforms make privacy allowances that protect content, allowing only approved users to view it. So while I’ve always had this rather transparent relationship with my son, I’ve never violated boundaries by hanging my laundry out to dry. Because my son (who lives with his father) and I share an interest in music, politics, film and history (just to name the big categories) we’ve really enjoyed using social media to stay in touch.

I know I’m the exception, having this two-way connectedness using the So.Me. space, but I’m really grateful. My world got a lot bigger at the same time that I was able to be much closer with my son. On a final note, he was a devoted user of MySpace and had to be nudged onto facebook; for professional reasons I had been an earlier adopter than he.

Thanks Mariana. Sounds like you have a great Social Media connection with your son, and I bet he gets to see a side of you he really enjoys. I don’t think you are as much of an exception to the rule as you may think, and I look forward to seeing what other parents may have to add on that front. Thanks so much for your comment.

Great post title.

My kids are too small right now (5 and 2), but I hope that someday they will take the time to get to know that other side of me. Whether they will want to follow me is another story 🙂

We are in a transition period with social networks right now – they are still fairly new and novel. I think many people still make the distinctions between their online life and their “real” life. But it won’t be long until it is just life and we (parents and kids) will start applying the same types of rules, boundaries and respect for an individual’s privacy within families that we do today.

Jeff,

Good thought. Something we all need to be at least cognizant of. My kids are not involved in any social media due to age. My soon to be 12 year old daughter will be curious sooner than later, I suspect. Right now, they don’t seem to care about the Internet beyond e-mailing mom and dad and the grandparents.

I am not naive though and I know that the Internet will be a normal part of their existence rather than the add on that it was to mine. I am trying to make sure that whatever trail I leave be it personal or professional online can be read by them. I suppose I sacrifice appearing ‘col’ in some situations but I am not on this earth to be cool for other ‘adults’. I am here to raise my kids well.

Since they come first in all things I look forward to helping them learn the responsibility that comes with life online. Along with that comes the sometimes serious pitfalls of leaving these electronic breadcrumbs that anyone who wants to can find.

Good thought for the day. Thanks.

Both kids play games online and we do our best to restrict them to sites based on educational principles; Noggin, Discovery Kids, Sparktop, etc. However, even the four year old wants to go to Cartoon Network to play Batman.

That said, neither are old enough to have an online presence but I do worry about what I’d do in that case when it happens. I write a couple blogs, post to Flickr and a few LEGO and comic and art sites. I use Facebook and Twitter but nothing I do is raunchy or elicit. Even my personal text messages are at best flirty. If my kids read my blog, they’d see mostly my surface level thoughts about politics, the fun I have building LEGO and drawing and how they’ve grown up over the years. There’s nothing I put online that I’d be ashamed of or wouldn’t want my grandma to read. It’s respect for the people I talk about and the people who read.

Therefore, were my kids to eventually have their own profiles or pages or avatars online, I’d hope that I’ve taught them how to respect themselves and their families and my constant hovering won’t be necessary. Kids will make stupid mistakes and as a parent you have to find the line between being watchful and being intrusive.

My seven-year-old loves to see his name in print online. Whenever I write anything for Dad-o-matic, he wants to read it.

It brings us closer and he becomes invested in the conversation. Since the content is usually about parenting him, it helps reinforce the message nicely.

~ Joe Hage

As always, Jeff, your post made me think. Like others here, I’ve always shared anything I’ve posted online with my kids (whether it was the personal blog I used to run or whatever), but your comments have made me keenly aware that I need to KEEP it that way: I’m going to make a concerted effort never to post anything online I wouldn’t want my children to see. That may not be practical for some, but it works well for me.

As for my kids and their online presence, I made a simple deal early on with my soon-to-be 15-year-old: You’re free to register with Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, etc., on the condition that you always “friend” me and understand that I will be checking your page. End of story. She never complained and it has worked well with my two oldest so far…fingers crossed.

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