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Ward Cleaver Did Us Wrong

September 30, 2008 By 6 Comments

Ward Cleaver (played by Hugh Beaumont)

I’m going to admit it right here, right now:  I am not a Super Dad.  You know the guys, the ones that no matter what event you go to, they are there with their kids, only they probably got there a little earlier, and are undoubtedly better prepared.  Deep down you wonder how they manage to actually find the time to work with the time commitment they make to their children.

As much as I’d love to think I’m Ward Cleaver, dressed ever so nattily in a wool suit, pipe clenched lightly in my lips as I prepare to pass judgement on the Beaver’s latest antics, I’m not.  Unfortunately, in my heart, I suspect I bear a closer resemblance to a certain donut loving animated character, and I’m betting a lot of you are do as well.

You see, we bought into the myth of the perfect father.  The truth is that even those Super Dads we may secretly envy have many of the same fears .  Yes, Ward is indeed worried about the Beaver, and the truth is that deep down, we’re all worried.  

I had a friend confide in me one time shortly after he became a father that he felt paralized with fear.  His wife had been in a minor fender bender with his son in the car and he had come to the cold realization that as much as he could try, he could never completely protect his child.  I reassured him, not that his fears were wrong, but that his fears were correct, that what he was feeling was something we all feel at some point.  

Ward Cleaver did us wrong.  He made it look simple, he never got ruffled, and we can all be dead certain he never spent a sleepless night worrying about whether he was doing the right thing for his child.

The truth for the modern father is that things aren’t that simple, and it seems they get harder every day.  

How do you, as a father, deal with the fear that comes with fatherhood?  What advice do you give to your friends when they become fathers for the first time?

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  • http://stuandrews.com Stu Andrews

    We had kids early. We met and were engaged in about 5 months. Married 6 months later. 22 years old each. Had our first little one 2 years later.

    We’ve had a couple of friends do a similar thing. But also, we’ve got friends who are just now starting to have their kids. I feel a lot more viable with four kids being able to dispense a little advice.

    Which usually boils down to:

    “Contentment in the chaos is a great thing to learn.”

    I’m a christian. My whole life system revolves around the Almighty, my belief in His Sovereignty. And ultimately, that’s how I deal with the fears of fatherhood.

    When my imagination goes overboard, when I see terrible things on the media. Whenever they’re not around and I start thinking too much.

    There is no way for me to be their perfect protector. I can’t be there all the time, and as a now-non-stereo-typical family where my better half has committed herself to be a full-time home mum, I’m the guy going to work for most of the day.

    We’re very blessed. We’ve had a few medical problems with the kids, but nothing to complain about. Our kids are all so very awesome. They’re learning how to relate, how to say sorry, how to hug and laugh and work hard at being a family.

    And there’s a lot more to come. I’m a big bear of a man, so I can’t wait till the daughters are sixteen and I’m meeting the guys they “like”. Ha ha. Can you say scary much. Or wrestling my sons and having them beat me. Cannot wait. I look forward to every step.

    There’s much fear. But there’s also much hope. And again, for me personally, it’s because I rest in the Sovereignty of the Almighty.

  • http://stuandrews.com Stu Andrews

    We had kids early. We met and were engaged in about 5 months. Married 6 months later. 22 years old each. Had our first little one 2 years later.

    We’ve had a couple of friends do a similar thing. But also, we’ve got friends who are just now starting to have their kids. I feel a lot more viable with four kids being able to dispense a little advice.

    Which usually boils down to:

    “Contentment in the chaos is a great thing to learn.”

    I’m a christian. My whole life system revolves around the Almighty, my belief in His Sovereignty. And ultimately, that’s how I deal with the fears of fatherhood.

    When my imagination goes overboard, when I see terrible things on the media. Whenever they’re not around and I start thinking too much.

    There is no way for me to be their perfect protector. I can’t be there all the time, and as a now-non-stereo-typical family where my better half has committed herself to be a full-time home mum, I’m the guy going to work for most of the day.

    We’re very blessed. We’ve had a few medical problems with the kids, but nothing to complain about. Our kids are all so very awesome. They’re learning how to relate, how to say sorry, how to hug and laugh and work hard at being a family.

    And there’s a lot more to come. I’m a big bear of a man, so I can’t wait till the daughters are sixteen and I’m meeting the guys they “like”. Ha ha. Can you say scary much. Or wrestling my sons and having them beat me. Cannot wait. I look forward to every step.

    There’s much fear. But there’s also much hope. And again, for me personally, it’s because I rest in the Sovereignty of the Almighty.

  • http://www.allthingscahill.com Mark Cahill

    Stu – you’ve nailed it. Yes, we face fear everyday, but along with it comes a joy unlike any other.

    The fear does come with the hope, and we choose on which side we focus. Be prepared for problems, but savor the good times.

  • http://www.allthingscahill.com Mark Cahill

    Stu – you’ve nailed it. Yes, we face fear everyday, but along with it comes a joy unlike any other.

    The fear does come with the hope, and we choose on which side we focus. Be prepared for problems, but savor the good times.

  • http://stuandrews.com Stu Andrews

    Mark, exactly. Nice to meet others with a similar understanding!

  • http://stuandrews.com Stu Andrews

    Mark, exactly. Nice to meet others with a similar understanding!