I’m a hardware geek, I have lots of gadgets and gizmos, including a Nintendo Wii, computers, etc. I also have a blu-ray home theater HDTV system and HD cable with lots of movie channels.

And yet… my kids don’t watch anything and don’t play anything during the school year. Nada. Not a big deal, because that’s how we’ve always set things up and they don’t complain about it…

Now, to be fair, if there’s a sickness, I’ll waive the rules and let the sick child watch a movie, typically something like “On The Town” or “Singing in the Rain”, but even that’s maybe one movie a month, and even when they’re sick, the video game system just sits, untouched.

I review video games so I have PS3, Xbox 360, Wii, Nintendo DS and just got rid of the PS2 and Gamecube, since they’re becoming obsolete.

My son isn’t allowed to play video games. He has an autistic spectrum disorder, which is accompanied by OCD. We tried rules with him, but playing video games made him violent. Eventually, we just had to cut them out of his life for his/our sanity because he was spending every waking moment talking about, thinking about and “play acting” out games.

Playing even computer games makes him bend the rules and disobedient, so we’re very strict about his computer use. Some days, he still tries to be his favorite game characters (particularly Link from Legend of Zelda), but he mentions them less and less. He also isn’t exposed to my game playing. He accidentally saw one of my video games several months back and went on about it for days. So, I keep them locked up and only play when he’s in bed, out of the house or when I’m in my bedroom alone.

It’s kind of hard not letting him play because he loves games, but they turn him into a different person who throws shoes at people and can’t control his already hard to control behavior. Occasionally, I’ll catch him staring at the PS3, which we use for Blu Rays, but he doesn’t really mention games much anymore and he’s more apt to do his schoolwork.

I do research on the psychological impact of video games, indeed I am going to be presenting some data at a conference next week. Our kids, our 15 year old daughter and 7 year old son both play. Our son plays more than our daughter, though she of course has more homework etc.

Our son has autism (see my posts on dadomatic) and games allow him to have fun and interact with characters. There is some pretty decent data out there suggesting that gaming can help autistic kids learn how to interact with others. Indeed, Ken Perlin who is speaking at the conference I am going to has used gaming concepts to help autistic people.

We have one rule, the boy cannot play GTA IV, it is a little intense…

As far as ‘screen time’ goes, well we are quite wired, no internet, no tv, not in our house.

We have a Wii, a couple of PC’s, and the kiddo and I each have a DS – a Lite for me, while she’s kickin’ it Old School (yo).

Most of her playing is done on kid-friendly sites like Webkinz and Poptropica. My wife and I made a decision when we first had her that we would be careful of the kinds of games we allowed in the house. Hence, although I must admit I wanted to at the time, I have never played Max Payne 1 or 2, nor any iteration of GTA.

Her big thing right now is essentially the mini-LAN party, where she’ll have a friend on one PC, herself on the other, on one of the many sites for kids. We’re fine with it as long as we’re familiar with the site, and homework/chores are done.

We have fun playing multiplayer Halo. He uses my old xBox and I have a 360. It is now at the point where he beats me about half of the time. The cool thing is that I take it as a way for me to teach him about winning and losing. It is not always successful… but still, it is one of those teachable moments.

I am thinking about doing a post about my aggression and video game research. Good idea?

Dave – We tried many times to give our son chances with video games because they do help with hand/eye coordination, but no matter the moderation or games played he still acted up. Something about the systems makes him go nuts!

@Dominick yeah everyone is different that is for sure. (I was writing my first comment before yours came up). I bet when he is older he will be able to deal with it.

@Dave – I hope so – I think he’d actually be a very good video game designer if he could handle his gaming aggression!

@Dominick, I know a lot of people in the industry. I think you may be on to something. Designers show amazing attention to detail and to narrative, they are really creative sorts actually. I have always imagined Jon (our boy) as being a coder or a designer, he loves patterns, and follows stories closely. Good games go off on tangents too (like GTA, though like I said, Jon is 7, I would never let him play that until he is older).

What about things like *making* games? Using scratch.mit.edu or perhaps building block type scenarios where you construct? It’s been noted that many games from America focus on destruction while games from Japan focus on creating, enriching. I for one, having come off of a high from PixelJunk Eden, am REALLY looking forward to Flower, where you just float around as a flower, making more flowers grow.

I’m an ambivalent game-player, my husband much more a gamer. Our 5-year old son loves video games intensely — too intensely. Not on the autism spectrum, he does have issues with aggression and anger and frustration. We’ve had to eliminate all video games (Wii and Nintendo 64) because he was just getting too preoccupied with it — similar to Dominick’s description of his son.

Made an exception recently and bought Endless Ocean, which was a big hit — no winning or losing, just lots of floating and checking out fish. I’d like to see more games like that for kids — embedded goals to make the game interesting and a game, but more about the experience.

He’s already looking forward to when he’s 13 and we’ll let him play Teen games. We’ll see.

I’m a new Dad, my wife and I just had our first in July – a beautiful boy, Dylan. So at 2.5 months, Dylan’s not gaming yet. I do support gaming as a educational tool and a good mental stimulator. Back when commodore 64s and Atari’s were the rave I was gaming. But nowawadays, I game more in fits and spurts. Last year I picked a used PS2 and have been enjoying it immensely. But I’m not die-hard enough to spent on a serious system.
Thanks for the post!
Michael

I have played video games my entire life from Kings Quest I on a Tandy computer to the 8bit NES to the newest games like WoW and The Sims.

I think that I am who I am today because of video games. They planted a seed of curiosity and passion in me that grew into the absolute geek. Once the internet came around and online gaming with my friends and MMOs etc, I was set. Now I am a marketer by day on the same Internet that I play games on at night.

My boys are 11 and 13. They have rules and school priorities. Mom and Dad have to have all the passwords etc and I echo @davebrodbeck thoughts about GTA IV and the likes. I play games with my kids and try to keep up with their interests (which makes a great excuse to buy all the new games).

But I would never discourage them to play video games and to figure out computers and the internet. I believe that restricting children to the internet for homework research only is doing them a disservice.

All things in moderation.

And Dad can still kick their butt in Super Mario Kart and Starcraft.

Great post, this is my first time to this blog. Recommended in Twitter by @chrisbrogan. Keep up the good work.

i trade internet and ps2 time with my kids for the chores they do around the house,drying and putting away of the dishes gets them 15min,beds and other odd jobs similar.we live in the country so pocket money has no real meaning yet when theres nowhere to spend it.some days they dont use the time,like if its nice outside they have to make the most of that before wasting time in front of a screen.wet weekends and after school if they have no homework is when they use this time up.

You may find the book iBrain, by Dr Gary Small, a neurologist, an interesting read- It focuses on the impact of our modern use of technology on shaping our brain function- both the good and the bad. Video Games are great for developing complex thinking in the brain, but really bad for social skills. Interestingly, doctors who regularly play computer games make less errors in surgery!

As it turns out, I’m more in need of monitoring than my child is. I took a decade-long break from video games, and when I got a PS2 as a wedding gift I found myself sucked in again. I think the quality of the story-telling, the way puzzles are unraveled, and the engagement and immersion provide an excellent (and still developing medium) for learning, much like story problems in math class used to.

The danger, and current limitation, is the patterns you begin to see across many games. The number of games that are truly ground-breaking and force different thinking are few and far between, which means most games fall back on the same tropes and elements that people have become accustomed to. Although this is fine for algebra, it risks painting a view of the world dictated by rules which existing only in that virtual reality, and which may hinder (or, perhaps, define) the way we and our children interact with people in the real world.

That being said, my daughter has begun to explore the more basic games on online sites for Nick Jr and Sesame Street (which are much more dangerous from a marketing perspective). I can see her learning problem solving and pattern recognition, as well as basic technical proficiency (she knew how to use our printer by age 3). Plus it keeps her occupied for half an hour, which is worth its weight in gold as a parent. I look forward to someday playing with her and discussing the themes, mechanics and lessons of gaming with her, probably as she shoots me with a laser in the back.