Words ???are powerful. Words spoken by a parent to a child are very powerful and often can carry far more weight and impact than we realize, so as parents we should choose our words carefully.  With that in mind, here are:

5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Kids

1) F#&*! – You need only watch prime time TV to understand that our standards of what words are acceptable on television have been substantially reduced over the years.  George Carlin‘s (R.I.P.) infamous “Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television” are all practically standard fare on Cable TV and at least two or three of them have crept their way into acceptability in broadcast TV.  Despite what we watch and how we may speak amongst adult friends and co-workers, we should never use such language when talking with our kids, no matter what their age.  There are times when I enjoy cursing like a drunken sailor, and even times when it is sort of appropriate (amongst adults), but if I use those words with my kids, I am sending them all sorts of wrong signals.  Yes, they are aware of and use “the F word” and other expletives, but it is different when they hear it in a conversation with mom or dad.  This is one case where I think a “double standard” is for the best.

2) “Shut Up!” – I worked as a Camp Counselor for many years at Camp Winadu in Pittsfield Mass, and one of the great policies they had was that we were not allowed to say “Shut Up” to the campers and we were instructed to treat it as a “dirty word.”  We shared that with the kids in our charge and discouraged them from using the phrase as well. I have tried to carry that rule with me as a parent as I agree with the wisdom of Winadu that “shut up” is insensitive and inappropriate.  There should never be a situation where not allowing someone to say something is an option.

3) “…or else…” – How many times have you said to one of your kids, “You’d better not do that… or else!” ???  How many times have you said that knowing full well that in fact there was no “or else” in the cards.  I am definitely guilty of that one.  But why bother tagging a declaration to your kids with an idle threat?  Isn’t it better to just say, “Don’t do that.”  Period.  They should know why, and they should respect what we say without the dangling threat of “or else…”  It is silly.  They know as well as we do that the odds of there really being an “or else” are pretty thin.  Say no to “or else”… or else!

4) YELLING AND SCREAMING – This is another one I have certainly been guilty of on occasion.  Parents are human and we can lose our cool too.  When we do, it is easy to yell at our kids.  However, rarely does screaming improve whatever situation you are frustrated about, and it certainly doesn’t give our kids the sense that we are the adult and in control.  Plus, doesn’t it feel silly afterwards?  I try hard not to let myself yell and scream at my kids.

5) Lying – Honesty and trust are of paramount importance in any relationship.  Honesty and trust are essential traits for a happy and successful life, which is what every parent wants for their children.  You can’t teach your kids the value and importance of honesty and trust if they catch you in a lie.  Pulling the wool over your kids eyes will only blind them to the importance of telling the truth – always.  George Washington had the right idea when he said “I cannot tell a lie…”  We shouldn’t either.

What do you think?  Do you agree with the 5 things above?  Are these things you should avoid saying to your kids? Are there other things you would add to this list. Let’s continue the conversation in the comments!

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

Photo Credit: © paxi – Fotolia.com