In Dad’s Life Lessons On The Wall, I shared an easy and loving way to teach your child important life lessons. Perhaps one of my lessons is one of yours?
Rule #2: Negative thoughts eat away at your brain. Don’t let this happen.
On seven-year-old Zachary’s wall is a picture of an acidifying apple. A beautiful green apple with a few bites taken out of it, now turning brown. Soon it will get mushy, unappetizing.
“Are you a green apple or a brown apple,” I ask him. “Green,” he typically responds, totally understanding the analogy for more than two years now.
I explain the brain is the most important muscle in the body. Just like the muscles he needs to do a push up, the brain’s muscles need to be exercised to stay healthy. We need to keep the “brown stuff” out of his brain because brown stuff can make him very sick.
A Brown Apple
I let Zach and five-year-old Lucas know I have brown days. Everyone has brown days; it’s normal. I tell them happiness is one of the five things I wish for my children; that I will do everything in my power to help them have it.
Zachary was praying the other day: It’s usually a list of things to thank God for. Once I interjected with “and thank God for sadness.” Of course, he asked why.
“Without sadness,” I began, “you wouldn’t appreciate happiness as much. If you were happy all the time, happiness would be expected, taken for granted. Sadness gives you the perspective you need to really enjoy happiness.” He understood.
Taboo?
My wife and I debate how appropriate it is to talk about such a grown up thing as mental health with our young children. What do you think: How early is “too early” to introduce the subject of mental health to your children?
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Good luck from a fellow Dad,
:: Joe Hage ::
Other posts from Joe Hage:
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I’m not sure there is a ‘too early’. The key is the presentation. Make the explanations simpler. Brown spots is a great way to think about it as well. Much simpler than overly complicated psycho babble. 🙂
Negative thoughts hurt no matter the age and younger folks are rarely taught the proper way to deal with them.
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I’m not sure there is a ‘too early’. The key is the presentation. Make the explanations simpler. Brown spots is a great way to think about it as well. Much simpler than overly complicated psycho babble. 🙂
Negative thoughts hurt no matter the age and younger folks are rarely taught the proper way to deal with them.
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I was so inspired by your post, Joe. What a wonderful way to address some really fundamental life lessons. I’m taking notes.
My 5 year old has a yin yang necklace that his dad brought back from China a couple of years ago. Since then, every time he wears it, he says “Good stuff. Bad stuff. There’s a little bit of bad stuff in good. And a little good stuff in bad.”
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I was so inspired by your post, Joe. What a wonderful way to address some really fundamental life lessons. I’m taking notes.
My 5 year old has a yin yang necklace that his dad brought back from China a couple of years ago. Since then, every time he wears it, he says “Good stuff. Bad stuff. There’s a little bit of bad stuff in good. And a little good stuff in bad.”
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@Todd, thanks for the feedback. Do you have analogies that work for you regarding other “adult” issues to share with us?
@Ria (Practical Mommy), I wonder if “Zen Mommy” from your site had something to do with the yin/yang bracelet. I welcome your readers’ comments too because how/when to address serious with kids is an area of interest and learning for us.
~ Joe Hage
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@Todd, thanks for the feedback. Do you have analogies that work for you regarding other “adult” issues to share with us?
@Ria (Practical Mommy), I wonder if “Zen Mommy” from your site had something to do with the yin/yang bracelet. I welcome your readers’ comments too because how/when to address serious with kids is an area of interest and learning for us.
~ Joe Hage
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As someone who has had mental health in their family I think you’ve done a commendable job in bringing up a very taboo topic in our society. I think that parents know best about when and how to bring subjects up to their kids. If someone feels it’s the time and the situation is ok then by all means follow through. kids are smarter than most people give them credit. If their parents are willing to take the time to explain and help them understand, they’ll take the time to listen
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As someone who has had mental health in their family I think you’ve done a commendable job in bringing up a very taboo topic in our society. I think that parents know best about when and how to bring subjects up to their kids. If someone feels it’s the time and the situation is ok then by all means follow through. kids are smarter than most people give them credit. If their parents are willing to take the time to explain and help them understand, they’ll take the time to listen
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@Sensfaction, thank you. I agree.
My Zachary constantly surprises me with what he understands and plays back to me. I wonder sometimes if he is the exception or the rule.
Even five-year-old Lucas is beginning to get the analogy. When he got mad at me for a punishment, he said, “You’re making me a brown apple, Dad!”
We still have some work to do. 🙂
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@Sensfaction, thank you. I agree.
My Zachary constantly surprises me with what he understands and plays back to me. I wonder sometimes if he is the exception or the rule.
Even five-year-old Lucas is beginning to get the analogy. When he got mad at me for a punishment, he said, “You’re making me a brown apple, Dad!”
We still have some work to do. 🙂
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When raising my kids, I always believed that I could discuss almost any subject with them. I believed that explaining a concept to them that was a bit over their heads was OK. They would absord what they were able to and I would, some time down the line, repeat the explanation….probably again and yet again. Each time, the kids would understand a little more. They had to stretch their minds some, but isn’t that a positive goal?
In point of fact, children who are treated as though they were older than their biological age respond by acting older than their biological age. They mature at a somewhat faster rate than those who are treated as being younger. Makes sense, if that is your objective.
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When raising my kids, I always believed that I could discuss almost any subject with them. I believed that explaining a concept to them that was a bit over their heads was OK. They would absord what they were able to and I would, some time down the line, repeat the explanation….probably again and yet again. Each time, the kids would understand a little more. They had to stretch their minds some, but isn’t that a positive goal?
In point of fact, children who are treated as though they were older than their biological age respond by acting older than their biological age. They mature at a somewhat faster rate than those who are treated as being younger. Makes sense, if that is your objective.
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