yes, not just the costume of a dead man's last character, but one depicting a homicidal maniac. I mean, who would let their kid dress up as Adolph Hitler, or Jeffery Dahmer? Not that I want to sound judgmental in any way shape or form, but it's kind of confusing to a kid when you tell him he can't watch the movie and then let them dress up like the people in it.

I'm all for the creativity of coming up with your own ideas - it makes for a chance to spend time doing it together.

Thanks

My oldest has been a pirate, Batman, A Jedi, a "boy bug" (that was his grandmother's idea), a ghost and will be going as Anakin Skywalker (pre-Vader) this year.

Fortunately, he has maintained solid interests in legos, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, etc... And while he has seen Batman Begins, I will not let him watch Dark Knight (or Temple of Doom either). But more importantly, I think the issue isn't the costume, it's what the costume means to the kid.

Halloween basically makes me really happy that I have two little boys, because the costumes they make for girls would never, ever be allowed out the door of my home.

I think your child's age and your own guidelines are the key factors in choosing a costume. I'm amazed at some of the costumes being marketed toward young kids this year. I wasn't offended by any of them, but there are certainly some that made me glad my daughter is only 2.5.

We looked at a bunch of costumes and a times she wanted to be WALL-E, then Flick, then Buzz Lightyear, the Ariel, then a horse then...we'll, you get the idea. In the end, she decided to be Ariel and we found a costume that isn't as "trampy" as some of the others and is also something that she'll be able to dress up in after trick-or-treating. She loves it and is already asking to wear it around the house. And in the end, that's really what it's about.

My kids are at a strange age - 10 and 11 - still kids but pushing for independence.

My daughter, the youngest, still believes Halloween is fun. For her it is a wonderful time to hang with her friends and really let loose. We live in a town a lot like Mayberry so the neighborhood really embraces the holiday.

This year, she is making her own costume - going as a grandma - with a scarf, a t-shirt that says "Number #1 grandmother," stockings, practical shoes, a purse full of star mints and kleenex with lipstick stains. Halloween is still a holiday to her.

When I look at the costumes available at the store, most of the female tween costumes seem to encourage a nouveau skank look - vampires with gogo boots, mini-skirts, etc.

She is not (nor am I) ready for that kind of face throught the windshield shock of seeing my little girl try to spread her wings.

On the other hand, my son smells like feet and AXE body spray.

It is amazing what a one year difference (from gradeschool to middle school) will do to a kid. The hormones are starting to boil.

He hasn't said it yet, but I am pretty sure his plan is to wear some horrible alien mask under a hoodie and steal candy from his sister. Halloween is less about the holiday and more about the haul. He won't put much thought into his costume. This means he will wait until the last minute and won't have time to pressure me into buying him something.

We're not really "into" Halloween. I know a lot of Christians are striving, rather diligently, to substitute "harvest" or "fall" festivals in place of Halloween, but we just don't do it anymore. It seems silly to us to bring in a substitute for something we disagree with. (It sets a bad example, you know, to say "hey - we disagree with that, but we feel bad for you (kids), so we'll substitute this". It's just better to say "we don't do that").

We do, however, raid the stores for leftover and heavily-discounted candy on November 1st and following, taking advantage of the retailers' inability to discern the tastes of finicky public. (The same pattern repeats itself at later holidays as well, but that's another story).

Our boys (and there are 4) seem not to notice, since dress up and acting out has become a daily activity around our house. Ever draped bath towels over the back of a three and five-year-old? Instant Batman and Superman! And the cool part is that the rest is up to their imagination - a piece of twine is a lasso, a stick is a sword, a clod of dirt is ... well .... a clod of dirt (in the hands of a knight/superhero/king, of course).

Don't get me wrong. I have moments where I wish the boys were out mixing it up with the (nonexistent) throng circulating the neighborhood, but I think we can introduce the same elements into our kids everyday lives without having the end focus being the satisfaction of one's self.

I see it as their holiday, not my holiday. I like to make things (although I don't get much time to do that at the moment), but to me it's more important to put that energy in to more everyday pursuits, like cooking, or decorating a cigar box for important treasures. Halloween (for me, so I guess it is about me after all) is about fantasy and breaking the rules, and I'm cool with buying a costume (that's within the budget) if it supports that once-a-year fantasy in the best way.

I have no trouble setting a boundary, though. Inappropriately sexual costume? Forget it. (What the hell is wrong with people who design costumes for 5-year-old girls anyway? Or pimp costumes for boys? Seriously.) Ditto a costume (for a child) from a slasher horror movie. Just no.

Obviously my "just no" line is different from someone else's, but I think we all need one. Kids need to know we're there to keep them on the right side of the line.

we try to dress as a family (which is getting more difficult now that there are 6 of us!)

Our rules are: nothing scary or creepy or representing a show we do not agree with.

The kids haven't bucked this yet - but pretty much we have to discuss and agree as a family since we coordinate. My eldest 2 are 7th grade and they do want to dress up this year - but we'll see...

Carrie Wilkerson, The Barefoot Executive
http://the-Barefoot-Executive.com

http://theBossMovie.com

My very first thought was "are 6 year olds watching the Dark Knight?" I believe that there are two issues with costumes.

1) Safety; is the costume going to keep the child as safe as possible during the activity that is planned. If walking outdoors, will they be seen in the dark? If the costume is covered in flammables, will the candle from a jack o lantern mean harm to them? Is make up or other applications made of non-toxic ingredients?

2)Values; is the costume age appropriate, something that the parents do not cringe when they see it on other children or in the store, and is it representative of a character from media that is age appropriate as well? The characters that we consider classics (ie witch, ghost, etc), has many different interpretations. Is the child asking for Casper the Friendly Ghost or another version that is possibly for much older children and / or adults?

IN~JOY, GypsyOwl

I have a 2 year old girl and a 4 year old boy. Obviously, the 2-year-old can't decide on what she wants to be - so I just find something that I know she won't yank off the first chance she gets, and that she won't freeze in while walking around the neighborhood.

My son, though, is really into Cars, Toy Story and Spongebob Squarepants. Two years ago, I made his Spongebob costume (he *really* wanted to be Spongebob, but all the costumes I found were cheesy - so I made it myself and we got lots of compliments on it.) Last year, he was Darth Vader (you can talk to his dad about that one LOL - 3 years old and he thinks Vader is the coolest thing ever, and Luke is lame) This year, he wanted to be several different characters So we sat down on a certain website-which-I-won't-name and looked at all the available costumes. We narrowed it down to Buzz Lightyear, Batman, Ghost Rider (! He's never even seen the movie - he just thought the flaming skull head was awesome) and Lightning McQueen. He thought about it for a little while, and then chose Buzz Lightyear.

I think it's important to let them be a part of the process. Whether they make it, I make it or we buy it, it's all in fun for the kids. Their job is to provide the imagination and desire for who they want to be for a night. It's my job to determine how much time and/or money I want to spend on it, and how safe/comfortable/appropriate the costume is. Meaning, I'm not going to let my 2-year-old parade around dressed like Halle Berry's version of Catwoman, but I might let her dress up like Julie Newmar's version (if she'd keep the ears on an not trip over the tail!) If I'm not comfortable with a costume, for whatever reason, then they don't get it. I'm a parent, so I don't need to explain myself either - although I will try so they understand. But if they don't, too bad - pick something else.

And for the record, if my son wanted to dress up like Heath Ledger's "Joker", I wouldn't mind. The fact that Heath Ledger is dead, and that character was the last one he played before his death (and is it? I thought he was filming another movie that's due out soon...) should have no effect on whether or not my son would want to be that character. Most likely, he want's to be him because it's a funny clown mask in a cool purple suit. I wouldn't try to taint their understanding of the world just yet - let them enjoy it all while they can. The "Joker" might be a bad guy, but that's not what they see.

This is a holiday where you let the kids take the lead. You don't want to spend a fortune on the costume, so there are limits when it comes to purchasing one, but beyond the cost, it's up the children to decide what they want to be and how they want to go about it.

Certainly, it's a time to encourage kids to be creative and looking at what's available or what you can make from existing materials is a good lesson for kids that not everything has to come in a package from a store. If your child really wants to be someone special and you (or they) can't figure out how to do it, you need to set a budget and work out how to go about it. After all, costumes are typically one and done, although my kids always put them in the dress-up box so they got more use even after Halloween was over.

Ron Miller
http://byronmiller.typepad.com

I've always been a fan of the make your own costumes. Often (but not always) cheaper but always individual and usually more memorable than the store bought costumes.

Over the years Maddy Mayhem was a dinosaur (age 3 - oversized hoodie with felt triangle "scales" stapled all over it - I'm too lazy to sew), a zombie bride (age 8 - wedding dress from Salvation Army store + fake blood + makeup), to The Grinch (age 12 - called on skills of a special FX artist friend + red sweatshirt, some fake fur and yet more staples).

Each year she thought for months ahead to create the ideal costume and treasures the photos of each year.

Boychild on the hand had little interest in costumes - one rubber devil mask has done him for 5 years now and he's happy as can be.

I think the home made costumes develop creativity as well as fun assembling them. I firmly believe in staples, hot glue guns and even duct tape for the non-sewing parents :)