Sex… is not what this post is about.  No birds and bees here.  Instead I want to talk about the “other” conversation to have with your kids as they approach the age of puberty and start to become young adults.  That is the talk about privacy and managing with common sense the digital trails we deliberately and innocently leave behind in “cyberspace.”  For many parents this may be an even more challenging topic than the dreaded “sex talk.”  As parents, by definition we have generally had sex ourselves, and we were once teens, experiencing the hormonal surges and urges of the beginnings of our sexual lives.  Therefore, though it may give us the willies, we are more or less prepared and have relevant firsthand experience to shed wisdom and guidance on matters of sex.  On the other hand, as parents most of us did not grow up in the same digital world our kids now inhabit.  We did not grow up tempted with “sexting” from our mobile phones.  We did not grow up sharing our lives and loves online, with pictures, videos, and often revealing “status updates” on Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and YouTube.
You Are Your Resume
My oldest son will graduate college this year and enter the “full time” work force.  A few years ago, when he was looking for a part time job, I remember helping him with his resume, crafting the words in a traditional paper format.  You know the drill: Objective, Work Experience, Education, References, etc.  Now as he gets closer to really needing a resume it dawned on me that he needs to concern himself with much more than a classic Curriculum Vitae.  He needs to concern himself with his online resume, in particular, his Facebook resume.  So, we had “the talk.”  In this talk, the protection we discussed had nothing to do with prophylactics (although we DID once have THAT talk).  In this talk I told him to assume that for any job he might apply for, the employer would see everything on his Facebook page.  He should assume that his potential future employers would “Google” him, and take a close look at his digital life.  In some cases that may be more important to them than his old fashioned resume.  I told him that, like it or not, he had to use common sense and think about and filter anything and everything he posts online with the understanding that it may very well shape the impressions of the people who will help him launch his career.
Online Is The Real Vegas
The clever catchphrase of Las Vegas notwithstanding, what happens online does indeed stay online, and that is an important lesson for us to teach our kids.  They have to be made aware that “cyberspace” has a better memory than any elephant. Digital ink is more indelible than any Sharpie pen.  The silliness they may choose to share with their friends is more than likely going to be visible by family and employer alike.  Even if some networks and things are truly private, I think the best way for our kids to approach their online lifestream is to use protection and proceed with the assumption that anything and everything they choose to share is discoverable.
What do you think?  Have you had this talk with your kids?
Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18). He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast. You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.
Photo Credit: © ioannis kounadeas – Fotolia.com
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Jeff – In this day and age if you don’t have this conversation with your kids then you are simply not doing your job as a parent well. Sounds harsh I know but it is just that important. the earlier the better as well. If any Dad reading this (who is likely more “tech savvy” than others) has not discussed the implications of what many see as harmless fun online he is helping his pride and joy possibly dig a digital hole for themselves.
Great post and something that needs to be discussed more and more as we go forward.
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Jeff – In this day and age if you don't have this conversation with your kids then you are simply not doing your. Sounds harsh I know but it is just that important. the earlier the better as well. If any Dad reading this (who is likely more “tech savvy” than others) has not discussed the implications of what many see as harmless fun online he is helping his pride and joy possibly dig a digital hole for themselves.
Great post and something that needs to be discussed more and more as we go forward.
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Jeff – In this day and age if you don't have this conversation with your kids then you are simply not doing your. Sounds harsh I know but it is just that important. the earlier the better as well. If any Dad reading this (who is likely more “tech savvy” than others) has not discussed the implications of what many see as harmless fun online he is helping his pride and joy possibly dig a digital hole for themselves.
Great post and something that needs to be discussed more and more as we go forward.
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Great post. I agree with you 100%. Parents and kids do not think that the activity that they take part in online will ever really matter later on down the road. Well that is just not true. In todays digital world that stuff matters more and more and people need to be careful and mindful of what they are doing online.
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Great post. I agree with you 100%. Parents and kids do not think that the activity that they take part in online will ever really matter later on down the road. Well that is just not true. In todays digital world that stuff matters more and more and people need to be careful and mindful of what they are doing online.
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Great post. I agree with you 100%. Parents and kids do not think that the activity that they take part in online will ever really matter later on down the road. Well that is just not true. In todays digital world that stuff matters more and more and people need to be careful and mindful of what they are doing online.
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Jeff, This is probably one of those topics that will have to start being addressed in schools as well as in parents homes. There really are so many facets that need to be considered. The digital trail is only one and probably the most important when children are older but for kids who are just getting online and learing to interface it’s also important to help them avoid the digital predator traps too. It seems that this conversation will probably happen multiple times with my kids and probably change with the technology over the next 18 to 20 years.
I have a friend who specializes in security and has a keen interest in helping to educate parents about how to speak with their kids. I’m hoping to do an interview with him soon and I’ll post it here. In the meantime check out his blog at http://www.benhalpert.com/
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Jeff, This is probably one of those topics that will have to start being addressed in schools as well as in parents homes. There really are so many facets that need to be considered. The digital trail is only one and probably the most important when children are older but for kids who are just getting online and learing to interface it’s also important to help them avoid the digital predator traps too. It seems that this conversation will probably happen multiple times with my kids and probably change with the technology over the next 18 to 20 years.
I have a friend who specializes in security and has a keen interest in helping to educate parents about how to speak with their kids. I’m hoping to do an interview with him soon and I’ll post it here. In the meantime check out his blog at http://www.benhalpert.com/
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Jeff,
You are correct and this is a toppic that should probably begin to be covered in shools as well. Topics don’t just include be careful about hwat image you put forward but also about proper behavior and security. Don’t put information that can be used by a predator type discussions. That said I imagine there will be quite a few changes in how we will address our kids as technology changes. ie. Foursquare should you post as soon as you arive? I supose it’s okay if your sure who has friended you, but I’d want my kids to be awfule careful with that type of application. It’s perfect for the stalking boyfriend, or sexual preditor.
I have a good friend who is a security expert and is working on starting a non-profit called Savvy Cyber Kids. I’m hoping to interview him soon and will post it here. In the meantime check out his blog at http://www.benhalpert.com/
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Jeff,
You are correct and this is a toppic that should probably begin to be covered in shools as well. Topics don't just include be careful about hwat image you put forward but also about proper behavior and security. Don't put information that can be used by a predator type discussions. That said I imagine there will be quite a few changes in how we will address our kids as technology changes. ie. Foursquare should you post as soon as you arive? I supose it's okay if your sure who has friended you, but I'd want my kids to be awfule careful with that type of application. It's perfect for the stalking boyfriend, or sexual preditor.
I have a good friend who is a security expert and is working on starting a non-profit called Savvy Cyber Kids. I'm hoping to interview him soon and will post it here. In the meantime check out his blog at http://www.benhalpert.com/
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Jeff,
You are correct and this is a toppic that should probably begin to be covered in shools as well. Topics don't just include be careful about hwat image you put forward but also about proper behavior and security. Don't put information that can be used by a predator type discussions. That said I imagine there will be quite a few changes in how we will address our kids as technology changes. ie. Foursquare should you post as soon as you arive? I supose it's okay if your sure who has friended you, but I'd want my kids to be awfule careful with that type of application. It's perfect for the stalking boyfriend, or sexual preditor.
I have a good friend who is a security expert and is working on starting a non-profit called Savvy Cyber Kids. I'm hoping to interview him soon and will post it here. In the meantime check out his blog at http://www.benhalpert.com/
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Thanks Frank, Rob, and Kevin. I really appreciate your comments and feedback. I think there are really two conversations we have to have. One when the kids are younger, about privacy and safety, and what you do and don’t share with “strangers,” and then an entirely different conversation when they are a bit older about your “digital reputation” and how it can affect your professional pursuits. All important stuff, and a relatively new concern for us parents. Thanks again for chiming in!
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Thanks Frank, Rob, and Kevin. I really appreciate your comments and feedback. I think there are really two conversations we have to have. One when the kids are younger, about privacy and safety, and what you do and don't share with “strangers,” and then an entirely different conversation when they are a bit older about your “digital reputation” and how it can affect your professional pursuits. All important stuff, and a relatively new concern for us parents. Thanks again for chiming in!
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Thanks Frank, Rob, and Kevin. I really appreciate your comments and feedback. I think there are really two conversations we have to have. One when the kids are younger, about privacy and safety, and what you do and don't share with “strangers,” and then an entirely different conversation when they are a bit older about your “digital reputation” and how it can affect your professional pursuits. All important stuff, and a relatively new concern for us parents. Thanks again for chiming in!
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I was in the middle or writing a blog on a related topic and happen to read yours (so I linked to this post). I didn’t think I was anywhere near this conversation with my seven year old, but he seems to be interested, so now is the time for the “talk” and some instruction to go with it. Better to get out in front of the inevitable.
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I was in the middle or writing a blog on a related topic and happen to read yours (so I linked to this post). I didn't think I was anywhere near this conversation with my seven year old, but he seems to be interested, so now is the time for the “talk” and some instruction to go with it. Better to get out in front of the inevitable.
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I was in the middle or writing a blog on a related topic and happen to read yours (so I linked to this post). I didn't think I was anywhere near this conversation with my seven year old, but he seems to be interested, so now is the time for the “talk” and some instruction to go with it. Better to get out in front of the inevitable.
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So true! One of my kids is in college and currently seeking internships, and her experience is that they all check out candidates online. I try to remind her to keep her online profiles free from any nonsense that would reflect poorly on her – not easy when anyone can post to your Facebook wall!
http://www.facebookdad.com
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So true! One of my kids is in college and currently seeking internships, and her experience is that they all check out candidates online. I try to remind her to keep her online profiles free from any nonsense that would reflect poorly on her – not easy when anyone can post to your Facebook wall!
http://www.facebookdad.com
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So true! One of my kids is in college and currently seeking internships, and her experience is that they all check out candidates online. I try to remind her to keep her online profiles free from any nonsense that would reflect poorly on her – not easy when anyone can post to your Facebook wall!
http://www.facebookdad.com
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So true! One of my kids is in college and currently seeking internships, and her experience is that they all check out candidates online. I try to remind her to keep her online profiles free from any nonsense that would reflect poorly on her – not easy when anyone can post to your Facebook wall!
http://www.facebookdad.com
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So true! One of my kids is in college and currently seeking internships, and her experience is that they all check out candidates online. I try to remind her to keep her online profiles free from any nonsense that would reflect poorly on her – not easy when anyone can post to your Facebook wall!
http://www.facebookdad.com
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How to ban a person from a blog on blogspot?