One thing I’ve learned through experience is that raising a child makes you a father, not simply the act of procreation. Far too many men can do the latter but a precious few ever even try to be the former. I respect and admire anyone that accepts the sacrifice and challenge of raising a child these days. I have even more admiration for those parents-especially dads-that choose to share the responsibilities of raising a child that another man fathered. It takes a special man to understand that these children need father figures no matter whose DNA they possess. 

I know as a fact that there’s no difference in the way you love a child whether they are blood or adopted. My son Nicholas was adopted at birth and I love him as much as my other two children that we had. Honestly, I never think of him as “adopted” and even saying this is surprising because I think of him as my own flesh and blood. 

The following song called “He Didn’t Have To Be” by Brad Paisley tells a wonderful story about the powerful impact a man can have a child’s life. He talks about this man who came in his momma’s life when he was a boy and not only made her happy but also her boy by being a wonderful father. It’s a beautiful sentiment that isn’t as common as it should be. Too many men shirk their duties or avoid responsibilities, especially if the child isn’t their own (what a horrible expression!). 

I want to thank all you dads out there, especially those that are loving and raising children that share another man’s DNA. It’s the greatest calling in life, being a parent. These little girls and boys just want a dad to call their own. The guy who tucks them in at night, plays with them and love them unconditionally. 

Here are the lyrics

“He Didn’t Have To Be”

When a single mom goes out on a date with somebody new
It always winds up feeling more like a job interview
My momma used to wonder if she’d ever meet someone
Who wouldn’t find out about me and then turn around and run 

I met the man I call my dad when I was five years old
He took my mom out to a movie and for once I got to go
A few months later I remember lying there in bed
I overheard him pop the question and prayed that she’d say yes 

And then all of a sudden
Oh, it seemed so strange to me
How we went from something’s missing
To a family
Lookin’ back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I’m at least half the dad
That he didn’t have to be 

I met the girl that’s now my wife about three years ago
We had the perfect marriage but we wanted somethin’ more
Now here I stand surrounded by our family and friends
Crowded ’round the nursery window as they bring the baby in 

And now all of a sudden
It seemed so strange to me
How we’ve gone from something’s missing
To a family
Lookin’ through the glass I think about the man
That’s standin’ next to me
And I hope I’m at least half the dad
That he didn’t have to be 

Lookin’ back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I’m at least half the dad
That he didn’t have to be 

Yeah, I hope I’m at least half the dad
That he didn’t have to be
Because he didn’t have to be
You know he didn’t have to be

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