Smile! You’re on not-so-candid camera! As parents it is our god given right to document the lives of our children. It is more than a right, it is an obligation. Actually, for many it is more than a obligation, it is an obsession! From the moment of our child’s birth we are compelled to capture them on film, video, digital, pencil sketches, watercolors, crayons – whatever the prevailing and available recording or imaging technology is, we will use it to capture our very own “Kodak Moments.” As long as it involves our beloved offspring it is worthy of being photographed and preserved forever. As our memories wane with age, we can sleep peacefully at night knowing that we took pictures (LOTS of pictures) to remind us of all those wonderful childhood moments we created for our kids. More importantly, we have proof of those wonderful times to wave in front of our children and remind them how good we were at raising them!
OUT OF THE CLOSET: FROM SHOEBOX TO FACEBOOK
Of course, the times they are a changin’ and with the perfect storm of digital photography, the Internet, and Social Networking, every picture ever taken can now be made available for viewing by almost all of the humans on the planet. That adorable shot of your now 17 year-old Goth Queen daughter when she was 7 in pigtails and freckles can now be shared not just with the family, but with everyone! Why wait for a family gathering to break out the slide projector or shoebox of photos. Email it or upload it instead! Why hide in the closet such a myriad of opportunities to embarrass your children? Go for it. Post them to your Facebook page and tag them with your kid’s name to ensure they will appear in your child’s feed for all their friends to see!
WHAT IS YOUR PRIVACY POLICY?
It is one thing to lovingly embarrass a teen or young adult, but with younger children there are many varied and volatile opinions about how transparent a parent should be when it comes to posting and sharing images of their kids online. When I first got a Flickr account, I was reluctant to post public pictures of my children, but in recent years, as social media in particular has completely revamped my personal privacy point of view, I have been more comfortable sharing all aspects of my life, including my children. Granted, they are older, but I don’t think my behavior would be much different if they were younger. Yes, there are bad people in the world and bad things sometimes happen to children, but there were bad people and bad things long before we had the means to share so widely and openly. There is risk and reward with everything we do, and overall, I have personally come to the conclusion that, done intelligently, the rewards of “open” outweigh the risks. That said, I have friends on both sides of the fence on this issue. I know people like the talented C.C. Chapman who is practically a professional photographer of his children and regularly shares delightful and inspiring photos he takes of his kids. On the other side, at a recent Social Media Camp in Miami I attended, the lively speaker was Ines Hegedus-Garcia of the popular Miamism blog and she was adamant about the fact that while much of her life is open and online and she has built a successful real estate practice by being so open, she will never post pictures of her children online. I think I would place myself somewhere in between these two extremes.
How about you? Are your kids tired of being followed around by the lurking lens of a Parent Paparazzi? Are you comfortable publicly sharing pictures of your kids? I am sure there are many opposing opinions on this and it would be great for all the Dad-O-Matic readers if we could take the discussion to the comments (and of course, feel free to link to pictures of your kids… or not.)
Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 20, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 17). He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast. You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.
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Hey Jeff – thanks for the love and let me go a little in depth about my decision. A few years back I got a mean scare from a not so friendly follower that chose to stalk me (there was even an FBI investigation). I can only say that it was then that my perspective changed – this guy knew where I lived, where I shopped, my listings, my Internet hangouts and the last thing I wanted was for him to know my kids’ names, their school and their whereabouts.
Then a healthy discussion started with Jeff Turner (who is also a contributor here, btw) – it was about what we choose to put out there for our readers and our “public light”. People know I have 3 sons and they also know where I live – imagine what that same psycho could have done if he had more information about my children? Don’t even want to go there and I know a lot of us think it will never happen to us – but the truth is that I don’t want to take the chance.
I do have photos on Flickr but they are for friends and family only – the question of where you draw the line is a very valid one – I, for one, am very happy about that scare because it made me more aware, and made me realize that we are vulnerable and our kids even more. I may be an extremist…. but….. “better safe than sorry”. (btw, JT wrote an amazing post on Active Rain about this very thing….maybe he’ll enlighten us with the link)
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Hey Jeff – thanks for the love and let me go a little in depth about my decision. A few years back I got a mean scare from a not so friendly follower that chose to stalk me (there was even an FBI investigation). I can only say that it was then that my perspective changed – this guy knew where I lived, where I shopped, my listings, my Internet hangouts and the last thing I wanted was for him to know my kids’ names, their school and their whereabouts.
Then a healthy discussion started with Jeff Turner (who is also a contributor here, btw) – it was about what we choose to put out there for our readers and our “public light”. People know I have 3 sons and they also know where I live – imagine what that same psycho could have done if he had more information about my children? Don’t even want to go there and I know a lot of us think it will never happen to us – but the truth is that I don’t want to take the chance.
I do have photos on Flickr but they are for friends and family only – the question of where you draw the line is a very valid one – I, for one, am very happy about that scare because it made me more aware, and made me realize that we are vulnerable and our kids even more. I may be an extremist…. but….. “better safe than sorry”. (btw, JT wrote an amazing post on Active Rain about this very thing….maybe he’ll enlighten us with the link)
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I’m about where you are, Jeff. I post a lot of images, both on my blog and Facebook account, though I do obscure some details about our lives. I still realize, though, that it wouldn’t take a determined tech-savvy stranger much time at all to figure out what I’m obscuring.
Aside from the vague concern that someone out there someday might use my data some day to harm my family – and I’m not dismissing the experiences of those to whom it’s happened because I’m sure I’d rethink my position if it happened to me – my concern is that I’m training my kids to be little attention junkies who mug for the camera, both video and still. Then again, I’m such a shutterbug there was a chance of that happening even if I’d never blogged.
At 3 and 5, my kids are vaguely aware that I blog – the oldest moreso – but they don’t get yet that that means their faces are online. I’m sure once they do the discussions will be interesting.
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I’m about where you are, Jeff. I post a lot of images, both on my blog and Facebook account, though I do obscure some details about our lives. I still realize, though, that it wouldn’t take a determined tech-savvy stranger much time at all to figure out what I’m obscuring.
Aside from the vague concern that someone out there someday might use my data some day to harm my family – and I’m not dismissing the experiences of those to whom it’s happened because I’m sure I’d rethink my position if it happened to me – my concern is that I’m training my kids to be little attention junkies who mug for the camera, both video and still. Then again, I’m such a shutterbug there was a chance of that happening even if I’d never blogged.
At 3 and 5, my kids are vaguely aware that I blog – the oldest moreso – but they don’t get yet that that means their faces are online. I’m sure once they do the discussions will be interesting.
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There used to be a dad at our daughter’s daycare who was like Ines…he was adamant that he would NEVER put pictures of his kids online in any shape or form. His wife, however, felt differently. I agreed with his wife but now, as the kids get older, I’ve grown increasingly concerned about what pictures and videos I share online.
I have gotten away from posting their pictures on my blog and limit it to my Facebook account…not sure if that’s the right way to do it but it seems like a happy medium.
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There used to be a dad at our daughter’s daycare who was like Ines…he was adamant that he would NEVER put pictures of his kids online in any shape or form. His wife, however, felt differently. I agreed with his wife but now, as the kids get older, I’ve grown increasingly concerned about what pictures and videos I share online.
I have gotten away from posting their pictures on my blog and limit it to my Facebook account…not sure if that’s the right way to do it but it seems like a happy medium.
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I am growing more comfortable with sharing information online, but Ines makes a mean point. I don’t think I’ll lessen my picture posting, but I certainly won’t increase it. I saw an article that discussed the possibility of sharing so much of yourself online that it opens you up to theft or worse. But to Jeff’s point, I think for me right now, the benefits far outweigh the possible risks. I have learned so much and met so many wonderful people through my blog and social networking that I don’t think I can stop now. It gives me hope, considering I thought our society was pulling in on itself. I thought everyone would ‘plug in’ each day and never come out. It’s good to see that plugging in being to interact with other human beings rather than with a game or news feed.
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I am growing more comfortable with sharing information online, but Ines makes a mean point. I don’t think I’ll lessen my picture posting, but I certainly won’t increase it. I saw an article that discussed the possibility of sharing so much of yourself online that it opens you up to theft or worse. But to Jeff’s point, I think for me right now, the benefits far outweigh the possible risks. I have learned so much and met so many wonderful people through my blog and social networking that I don’t think I can stop now. It gives me hope, considering I thought our society was pulling in on itself. I thought everyone would ‘plug in’ each day and never come out. It’s good to see that plugging in being to interact with other human beings rather than with a game or news feed.
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My rule is simple; I never post pictures of my kids on public sites. Partly for safety reasons, but also because I don’t need anyone having pictures of my kids to use however they decide. Have you seen the Danger Girl series of pictures (http://tinyurl.com/kvbbfa)? That’s just one example. To me, posting pictures of my kids on Flickr or similar (publicly, I have private albums on Picasa with their photos) is like posting a picture of my kids on the bulletin board of the local supermarket.
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My rule is simple; I never post pictures of my kids on public sites. Partly for safety reasons, but also because I don’t need anyone having pictures of my kids to use however they decide. Have you seen the Danger Girl series of pictures (http://tinyurl.com/kvbbfa)? That’s just one example. To me, posting pictures of my kids on Flickr or similar (publicly, I have private albums on Picasa with their photos) is like posting a picture of my kids on the bulletin board of the local supermarket.