Today’s post is really a beginning. I’m a neurohacker at heart and by profession. I design behavioral software. That means I create media designed to “install” beliefs and behaviors into people just like you would install a new app onto your computer. I enjoy it. I’m good at it. And I believe that one day soon it will change the world in wonderful ways.
However, what’s most important to me is that I use what I know to raise Miles, my little boy, into someone who is happy and healthy. Someone who has meaning and purpose to his life. Who knows that freedom is everything and all the rest is love.
Because I’ve spent so much of my time helping others learn to be ‘at their best’ I am particularly aware of how new information gets encoded into our minds and our behaviors.
Which brings me to my son and this post.
After nearly seven years of raising him against the cultural grain, I’ve decided that I want to start sharing the adventure. I know there is a growing number of intentional and intelligent parents that want more than what’s obvious. So do I. And, since there are no channels offering the kind of parenting I want to see, I figured I’d create my own.
This is the beginning of a journey. I hope you enjoy it. And I hope you participate. Everything is better with friends.
Here’s to raising children that become adults still vibrant with wonder and awe.
Big Love,
Devon
#
Goddess:
So wonderful to see you in this new venue. Your Little is so beautiful and it’s a wonderful treat to see the mightyoaksgroup. I look forward to the growth of your acorns.
As for ideal school, here is a very short list:
First off – i am with you on everything in your list:
My ideal school has delicious and nutritional meals. Low GI, seasonal, creative, and cultured.
Self awareness beginning with the use of the body. So yoga + somatics. I am a big fan of the Bene Gesserit practices as outlined in Frank Herbert’s Dune series. Prana-bindu he calls it. I teach Miles with a balance board, see saws, climbing mountains, yoga, breathing, and pictures of the body in its various states all around the house. This includes a lot of Alex Grey’s imagery and attends to muscles, the skeletal system, nervous system, immune system, energy system, digestive system (in the bathroom!) and others.
Everything is based on play and making sure the children are always in their fascination.
My ideal school also has the ability to notice each child’s natural tendencies and integrate them intentionally and intelligently in the classroom. In other words, is the child naturally dominant, shy, connected…
As well, it encourages each child’s strengths while shoring up their weaknesses.
I could go on for hours.
I look forward to one day spending some time with Miles in the company of your might oaks.
x
Devon
#
Thanks Todd!
Grandkids seem to be where it’s at! All the ability to enjoy with only a limited amount of the unending responsibility. Just Love – what a blessing. I love watching my parent’s with Miles.
There’s a great book about Milton Erickson called the February Man. The book details the therapeutic intervention Erickson had with a woman who was concerned about not having good parental role models growing up and therefore not being able to parent her own child well. So, in classic Ericksonian style, Milton would have her come into the office, put her into deep trance and then visit her once a year in the February’s of her childhood. During each of these instances he would make sure to have an interaction that sparked her learning, love and creativity and give her the learning and confidence she would need in her current adult life to parent her own child.
With just one visit to her memory once a year he created lasting memories that changed her life forever. Talk about imagineering!
Thanks for sharing back,
Devon
#
I was talking to John Taylor Gatto about a year ago; I was planning an interview with him. I told him, ‘I interview people who have made a living following their bliss.’ In response John says, “I’m not sure about my bliss, I think i’m living my hate, but i guess that’s similar.” I love that man.
If you like Dumbing Us Down, check out his An Underground History of American Education.
Looking forward to more connections. I’ll keep checking out your site.
#
Stephen,
Just checked out your site and I love it; Looking forward to a more thorough exploration.
I also love the idea that education starts at conception and continues through death. In fact I think it's impossible for learning to NOT occur from conception forward – I would suggest that learning occurs even before conception but I'll leave that for another conversation.
With regards to reading causing damage to neural functioning in children under ten – I'll have to take a look to re-find the research. At the moment I simply have it tucked in my things to do/not do at certain ages. In general i like to stick to the general guidelines of developmental matrix theory. Here's a graph that outlines some of the basics if you're interested:
http://humanoperatingsystem.org/progressivepare…
Essentially, the idea behind this is that a seven-year old, for example, is undergoing heavy development of his/her emotional and imaginative capacities. Since this is the case, the optimal learning environment will encourage development of emotional depth and range over the development of symbol systems which are more optimally learned at a later stage.
And yes, I can't imagine raising Miles to move through the world in any way other than learning…endlessly.
#
Stephen,
Just checked out your site and I love it; Looking forward to a more thorough exploration.
I also love the idea that education starts at conception and continues through death. In fact I think it's impossible for learning to NOT occur from conception forward – I would suggest that learning occurs even before conception but I'll leave that for another conversation.
With regards to reading causing damage to neural functioning in children under ten – I'll have to take a look to re-find the research. At the moment I simply have it tucked in my things to do/not do at certain ages. In general i like to stick to the general guidelines of developmental matrix theory. Here's a graph that outlines some of the basics if you're interested:
http://humanoperatingsystem.org/progressivepare…
Essentially, the idea behind this is that a seven-year old, for example, is undergoing heavy development of his/her emotional and imaginative capacities. Since this is the case, the optimal learning environment will encourage development of emotional depth and range over the development of symbol systems which are more optimally learned at a later stage.
And yes, I can't imagine raising Miles to move through the world in any way other than learning…endlessly.
#
Hey Suzanne,
I just checked out the post and I agree – should is one of the lamest words out there. More interestingly is the attention your putting on precision in language. This is one of the most critical and least attended aspects of our culture. Words matter. To that end, the ways we use our words matter. I am teaching Miles, as I teach all of my students, to process language by the syllable. Every syllable is deeply meaningful and contains a world of information about the speaker, their desires, intentions, awareness and the ill- or well-formedness of how they are internally organized.
Paying attention to the details makes it less likely to lost the details ourselves.
My intention is for Miles to process every syllable and every word in-time. To me, this is at least a beginning to a functional definition of living awareness.
Happy for the community!
~Devon
#
Goddess:
So wonderful to see you in this new venue. Your Little is so beautiful and it's a wonderful treat to see the mightyoaksgroup. I look forward to the growth of your acorns.
As for ideal school, here is a very short list:
First off – i am with you on everything in your list:
My ideal school has delicious and nutritional meals. Low GI, seasonal, creative, and cultured.
Self awareness beginning with the use of the body. So yoga + somatics. I am a big fan of the Bene Gesserit practices as outlined in Frank Herbert's Dune series. Prana-bindu he calls it. I teach Miles with a balance board, see saws, climbing mountains, yoga, breathing, and pictures of the body in its various states all around the house. This includes a lot of Alex Grey's imagery and attends to muscles, the skeletal system, nervous system, immune system, energy system, digestive system (in the bathroom!) and others.
Everything is based on play and making sure the children are always in their fascination.
My ideal school also has the ability to notice each child's natural tendencies and integrate them intentionally and intelligently in the classroom. In other words, is the child naturally dominant, shy, connected…
As well, it encourages each child's strengths while shoring up their weaknesses.
I could go on for hours.
I look forward to one day spending some time with Miles in the company of your might oaks.
x
Devon
#
Goddess:
So wonderful to see you in this new venue. Your Little is so beautiful and it's a wonderful treat to see the mightyoaksgroup. I look forward to the growth of your acorns.
As for ideal school, here is a very short list:
First off – i am with you on everything in your list:
My ideal school has delicious and nutritional meals. Low GI, seasonal, creative, and cultured.
Self awareness beginning with the use of the body. So yoga + somatics. I am a big fan of the Bene Gesserit practices as outlined in Frank Herbert's Dune series. Prana-bindu he calls it. I teach Miles with a balance board, see saws, climbing mountains, yoga, breathing, and pictures of the body in its various states all around the house. This includes a lot of Alex Grey's imagery and attends to muscles, the skeletal system, nervous system, immune system, energy system, digestive system (in the bathroom!) and others.
Everything is based on play and making sure the children are always in their fascination.
My ideal school also has the ability to notice each child's natural tendencies and integrate them intentionally and intelligently in the classroom. In other words, is the child naturally dominant, shy, connected…
As well, it encourages each child's strengths while shoring up their weaknesses.
I could go on for hours.
I look forward to one day spending some time with Miles in the company of your might oaks.
x
Devon
#
John – it’s totally amazing how little is expected of dads, I agree. Thankfully, parents on both sides of the gender spectrum are raising their standards i think.
Thankfully I was raised by my mom. And then somewhere in there i became fixated on human consciousness and performance forming in me my own very rigorous standards. And then I spent over a decade with my mentor who helped me relearn what it meant to be a man in the most intense and detail-oriented way possible. Now it all comes to bare in my life with Miles.
I feel quote blessed to have been given the gift of Miles. Tending to his well-formedness and fascination feels like the greatest matter of personal integrity.
I am only too aware inevitable it is that I will screw him up. But, having accepted that inevitability, I enjoy the games we play and the privilege of raising him.
Thanks so much for the comment. I’ll do my best to keep setting my personal benchmarks, cleaning up the bench when it gets soiled and sharing the adventures here.
All my best,
Devon
#
Yeah, the ‘road less traveled’ is a worn path strewn with Coors Lite cans and old cigarette butts. So, I take notes from those that have gone before me. At the age of 32 I think I may just be coming to the point where I may be having some original thoughts. Maybe. Thankfully, I’ve found my share of intelligent pathbreakers who have gone before me. And I’m steeled for the inevitable rebellion.
#
Thanks Todd!
Grandkids seem to be where it's at! All the ability to enjoy with only a limited amount of the unending responsibility. Just Love – what a blessing. I love watching my parent's with Miles.
There's a great book about Milton Erickson called the February Man. The book details the therapeutic intervention Erickson had with a woman who was concerned about not having good parental role models growing up and therefore not being able to parent her own child well. So, in classic Ericksonian style, Milton would have her come into the office, put her into deep trance and then visit her once a year in the February's of her childhood. During each of these instances he would make sure to have an interaction that sparked her learning, love and creativity and give her the learning and confidence she would need in her current adult life to parent her own child.
With just one visit to her memory once a year he created lasting memories that changed her life forever. Talk about imagineering!
Thanks for sharing back,
Devon
#
Thanks Todd!
Grandkids seem to be where it's at! All the ability to enjoy with only a limited amount of the unending responsibility. Just Love – what a blessing. I love watching my parent's with Miles.
There's a great book about Milton Erickson called the February Man. The book details the therapeutic intervention Erickson had with a woman who was concerned about not having good parental role models growing up and therefore not being able to parent her own child well. So, in classic Ericksonian style, Milton would have her come into the office, put her into deep trance and then visit her once a year in the February's of her childhood. During each of these instances he would make sure to have an interaction that sparked her learning, love and creativity and give her the learning and confidence she would need in her current adult life to parent her own child.
With just one visit to her memory once a year he created lasting memories that changed her life forever. Talk about imagineering!
Thanks for sharing back,
Devon
#
I was talking to John Taylor Gatto about a year ago; I was planning an interview with him. I told him, 'I interview people who have made a living following their bliss.' In response John says, “I'm not sure about my bliss, I think i'm living my hate, but i guess that's similar.” I love that man.
If you like Dumbing Us Down, check out his An Underground History of American Education.
Looking forward to more connections. I'll keep checking out your site.
#
I was talking to John Taylor Gatto about a year ago; I was planning an interview with him. I told him, 'I interview people who have made a living following their bliss.' In response John says, “I'm not sure about my bliss, I think i'm living my hate, but i guess that's similar.” I love that man.
If you like Dumbing Us Down, check out his An Underground History of American Education.
Looking forward to more connections. I'll keep checking out your site.
#
Hey Suzanne,
I just checked out the post and I agree – should is one of the lamest words out there. More interestingly is the attention your putting on precision in language. This is one of the most critical and least attended aspects of our culture. Words matter. To that end, the ways we use our words matter. I am teaching Miles, as I teach all of my students, to process language by the syllable. Every syllable is deeply meaningful and contains a world of information about the speaker, their desires, intentions, awareness and the ill- or well-formedness of how they are internally organized.
Paying attention to the details makes it less likely to lost the details ourselves.
My intention is for Miles to process every syllable and every word in-time. To me, this is at least a beginning to a functional definition of living awareness.
Happy for the community!
~Devon
#
Hey Suzanne,
I just checked out the post and I agree – should is one of the lamest words out there. More interestingly is the attention your putting on precision in language. This is one of the most critical and least attended aspects of our culture. Words matter. To that end, the ways we use our words matter. I am teaching Miles, as I teach all of my students, to process language by the syllable. Every syllable is deeply meaningful and contains a world of information about the speaker, their desires, intentions, awareness and the ill- or well-formedness of how they are internally organized.
Paying attention to the details makes it less likely to lost the details ourselves.
My intention is for Miles to process every syllable and every word in-time. To me, this is at least a beginning to a functional definition of living awareness.
Happy for the community!
~Devon
#
John – it's totally amazing how little is expected of dads, I agree. Thankfully, parents on both sides of the gender spectrum are raising their standards i think.
Thankfully I was raised by my mom. And then somewhere in there i became fixated on human consciousness and performance forming in me my own very rigorous standards. And then I spent over a decade with my mentor who helped me relearn what it meant to be a man in the most intense and detail-oriented way possible. Now it all comes to bare in my life with Miles.
I feel quote blessed to have been given the gift of Miles. Tending to his well-formedness and fascination feels like the greatest matter of personal integrity.
I am only too aware inevitable it is that I will screw him up. But, having accepted that inevitability, I enjoy the games we play and the privilege of raising him.
Thanks so much for the comment. I'll do my best to keep setting my personal benchmarks, cleaning up the bench when it gets soiled and sharing the adventures here.
All my best,
Devon
#
John – it's totally amazing how little is expected of dads, I agree. Thankfully, parents on both sides of the gender spectrum are raising their standards i think.
Thankfully I was raised by my mom. And then somewhere in there i became fixated on human consciousness and performance forming in me my own very rigorous standards. And then I spent over a decade with my mentor who helped me relearn what it meant to be a man in the most intense and detail-oriented way possible. Now it all comes to bare in my life with Miles.
I feel quote blessed to have been given the gift of Miles. Tending to his well-formedness and fascination feels like the greatest matter of personal integrity.
I am only too aware inevitable it is that I will screw him up. But, having accepted that inevitability, I enjoy the games we play and the privilege of raising him.
Thanks so much for the comment. I'll do my best to keep setting my personal benchmarks, cleaning up the bench when it gets soiled and sharing the adventures here.
All my best,
Devon
#
Yeah, the 'road less traveled' is a worn path strewn with Coors Lite cans and old cigarette butts. So, I take notes from those that have gone before me. At the age of 32 I think I may just be coming to the point where I may be having some original thoughts. Maybe. Thankfully, I've found my share of intelligent pathbreakers who have gone before me. And I'm steeled for the inevitable rebellion.
#
Yeah, the 'road less traveled' is a worn path strewn with Coors Lite cans and old cigarette butts. So, I take notes from those that have gone before me. At the age of 32 I think I may just be coming to the point where I may be having some original thoughts. Maybe. Thankfully, I've found my share of intelligent pathbreakers who have gone before me. And I'm steeled for the inevitable rebellion.
#
“I am only too aware inevitable it is that I will screw him up.”
Why is it inevitable Devon?
Isn’t that an old story… what if it’s no longer true?
What if you just go and give him the best start in life he could possibly have, and he is utterly amazing, whole and complete, because of it?
xx
#
“I am only too aware inevitable it is that I will screw him up.”
Why is it inevitable Devon?
Isn't that an old story… what if it's no longer true?
What if you just go and give him the best start in life he could possibly have, and he is utterly amazing, whole and complete, because of it?
xx
#
“I am only too aware inevitable it is that I will screw him up.”
Why is it inevitable Devon?
Isn't that an old story… what if it's no longer true?
What if you just go and give him the best start in life he could possibly have, and he is utterly amazing, whole and complete, because of it?
xx
#
I think it’s inevitable that Miles will interpret something that i do in a way that doesn’t serve him at some point in his life. Something along the lines of, “it scared me and made me feel like you didn’t love me when you grabbed my arm and yelled stop!” even though it was because I was stopping him from climbing into the lion’s enclosure at the zoo.
Also, I’ve noticed that I keep updating the ways I think about things so I imagine some of the things I’m doing now will seem like the ‘wrong’ things later on in life.
And I think all that’s fine. I don’t think it’s a problem that I screw him up so long as i’m doing my absolute best. For me it’s simply recognizing the fact that no matter how perfect any system is – there’s no true perfection. No matter how well I think i’m doing it, I’ll find a better way at some other point. So I don’t get overly caught up in trying to be perfect. I embrace the imperfections and keep on moving.
Or to say it more simply, I’m not worried about life coming up and I think that makes me a better dad.
#
I think it's inevitable that Miles will interpret something that i do in a way that doesn't serve him at some point in his life. Something along the lines of, “it scared me and made me feel like you didn't love me when you grabbed my arm and yelled stop!” even though it was because I was stopping him from climbing into the lion's enclosure at the zoo.
Also, I've noticed that I keep updating the ways I think about things so I imagine some of the things I'm doing now will seem like the 'wrong' things later on in life.
And I think all that's fine. I don't think it's a problem that I screw him up so long as i'm doing my absolute best. For me it's simply recognizing the fact that no matter how perfect any system is – there's no true perfection. No matter how well I think i'm doing it, I'll find a better way at some other point. So I don't get overly caught up in trying to be perfect. I embrace the imperfections and keep on moving.
Or to say it more simply, I'm not worried about life coming up and I think that makes me a better dad.
#
I think it's inevitable that Miles will interpret something that i do in a way that doesn't serve him at some point in his life. Something along the lines of, “it scared me and made me feel like you didn't love me when you grabbed my arm and yelled stop!” even though it was because I was stopping him from climbing into the lion's enclosure at the zoo.
Also, I've noticed that I keep updating the ways I think about things so I imagine some of the things I'm doing now will seem like the 'wrong' things later on in life.
And I think all that's fine. I don't think it's a problem that I screw him up so long as i'm doing my absolute best. For me it's simply recognizing the fact that no matter how perfect any system is – there's no true perfection. No matter how well I think i'm doing it, I'll find a better way at some other point. So I don't get overly caught up in trying to be perfect. I embrace the imperfections and keep on moving.
Or to say it more simply, I'm not worried about life coming up and I think that makes me a better dad.
#
Devon,
Great overview, I am interested to follow what comes.
In time I hope to be able to talk as exquisitely about it as you and this growing community, but for now I will just share that I am interested in being the best parent I can for my two young sons.
Can you or anyone suggest a good book, list of books, authors, online resources, etc for a newcomer interested in:
-The shortcomings of the current US educational system (not necessarily about parenting, but how did it come to be the way it is, good or bad. To what extent is it based on developmental needs and not on the need of the country for more science and math engineers for example)
-The language of parenting (I try not to tell him NO without an explanation, carefully use the word “should”, etc)
I plan to more thoroughly read Joseph Chilton Pearce’s Magical Child.
What else?
Thanks!
-Harry
#
Devon,
Great overview, I am interested to follow what comes.
In time I hope to be able to talk as exquisitely about it as you and this growing community, but for now I will just share that I am interested in being the best parent I can for my two young sons.
Can you or anyone suggest a good book, list of books, authors, online resources, etc for a newcomer interested in:
-The shortcomings of the current US educational system (not necessarily about parenting, but how did it come to be the way it is, good or bad. To what extent is it based on developmental needs and not on the need of the country for more science and math engineers for example)
-The language of parenting (I try not to tell him NO without an explanation, carefully use the word “should”, etc)
I plan to more thoroughly read Joseph Chilton Pearce's Magical Child.
What else?
Thanks!
-Harry
#
Devon,
Great overview, I am interested to follow what comes.
In time I hope to be able to talk as exquisitely about it as you and this growing community, but for now I will just share that I am interested in being the best parent I can for my two young sons.
Can you or anyone suggest a good book, list of books, authors, online resources, etc for a newcomer interested in:
-The shortcomings of the current US educational system (not necessarily about parenting, but how did it come to be the way it is, good or bad. To what extent is it based on developmental needs and not on the need of the country for more science and math engineers for example)
-The language of parenting (I try not to tell him NO without an explanation, carefully use the word “should”, etc)
I plan to more thoroughly read Joseph Chilton Pearce's Magical Child.
What else?
Thanks!
-Harry
#
Hi Harry,
This book is pretty much exactly what you’re asking about in regards to the current US educational system: An Underground History of American Education by John Taylor Gatto.
You can get it on Amazon or B&N, etc. Or you can download it chapter by chapter here:
http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/chapters/index.htm
As far as the ‘language of parenting’ I would say it’s modeling. Children have high quantities of mirror neurons – particularly effective in ‘mirroring’ the behaviors of those around them. So, your own behavior is the deepest language. The more self-awareness we as parents cultivate, the more self-awareness we ‘speak’ into our children.
Pearce is amazing although my two caveats there are:
1. There isn’t a lot of practical ‘in the field’ advice.
2. He gets overly carried away with spiritual concerns. So he takes Piaget’s model further but then gets lost in another cul de sac. The ages and stages link in my new post (
http://dadomatic.com/the-journey-episode-2-attention-to-detail/ ) has a more complete overview of developmental stages.
Within those stages are another ‘language’ that’s worth learning. Although, there too, I’ve only provided an outline without a heck of a lot of practical advice. There’s only so much I can fit in a table!
Hope that’s useful.
Cheers!
Devon
#
Hi Harry,
This book is pretty much exactly what you're asking about in regards to the current US educational system: An Underground History of American Education by John Taylor Gatto.
You can get it on Amazon or B&N, etc. Or you can download it chapter by chapter here:
http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/chapters/index.htm
As far as the 'language of parenting' I would say it's modeling. Children have high quantities of mirror neurons – particularly effective in 'mirroring' the behaviors of those around them. So, your own behavior is the deepest language. The more self-awareness we as parents cultivate, the more self-awareness we 'speak' into our children.
Pearce is amazing although my two caveats there are:
1. There isn't a lot of practical 'in the field' advice.
2. He gets overly carried away with spiritual concerns. So he takes Piaget's model further but then gets lost in another cul de sac. The ages and stages link in my new post (
http://dadomatic.com/the-journey-episode-2-atte… ) has a more complete overview of developmental stages.
Within those stages are another 'language' that's worth learning. Although, there too, I've only provided an outline without a heck of a lot of practical advice. There's only so much I can fit in a table!
Hope that's useful.
Cheers!
Devon
#
Hi Harry,
This book is pretty much exactly what you're asking about in regards to the current US educational system: An Underground History of American Education by John Taylor Gatto.
You can get it on Amazon or B&N, etc. Or you can download it chapter by chapter here:
http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/chapters/index.htm
As far as the 'language of parenting' I would say it's modeling. Children have high quantities of mirror neurons – particularly effective in 'mirroring' the behaviors of those around them. So, your own behavior is the deepest language. The more self-awareness we as parents cultivate, the more self-awareness we 'speak' into our children.
Pearce is amazing although my two caveats there are:
1. There isn't a lot of practical 'in the field' advice.
2. He gets overly carried away with spiritual concerns. So he takes Piaget's model further but then gets lost in another cul de sac. The ages and stages link in my new post (
http://dadomatic.com/the-journey-episode-2-atte… ) has a more complete overview of developmental stages.
Within those stages are another 'language' that's worth learning. Although, there too, I've only provided an outline without a heck of a lot of practical advice. There's only so much I can fit in a table!
Hope that's useful.
Cheers!
Devon
#
genuine, poignant, compelling. dev-this is a reminder to me of how amazing my girl’s are and how easily i can (and often do) contribute to the “Damage”. gotta a sidecar? i’m hopping in…
#
genuine, poignant, compelling. dev-this is a reminder to me of how amazing my girl's are and how easily i can (and often do) contribute to the “Damage”. gotta a sidecar? i'm hopping in…
#
genuine, poignant, compelling. dev-this is a reminder to me of how amazing my girl's are and how easily i can (and often do) contribute to the “Damage”. gotta a sidecar? i'm hopping in…
#
genuine, poignant, compelling. dev-this is a reminder to me of how amazing my girl's are and how easily i can (and often do) contribute to the “Damage”. gotta a sidecar? i'm hopping in…
#
genuine, poignant, compelling. dev-this is a reminder to me of how amazing my girl's are and how easily i can (and often do) contribute to the “Damage”. gotta a sidecar? i'm hopping in…