A while back, I wrote 600 Days Without Solid Sleep. Well after yet another night marked by a 2AM wake-up call, I thought I would run the numbers, and what do you know? A nice round 1000 days! How could I not mark such an auspicious occasion? Pardon me if I appear a bit snarky, but I’m on my 3rd double espresso, and that can affect a man.
Sleep is like the unicorn – it is rumored to exist, but I doubt I will see any – Anonymous
Our youngest daughter has had “sleep issues” from day one. Actually, she doesn’t seem to care. It’s my wife and I that take issue with it. People have all sorts of advice. “Go in, but don’t speak. Just comfort her and put her back to bed in silence.” In silence?! Are you kidding me? Who are these kids that respond to this? On what planet does this work?
“Don’t go into her room, just let her cry.” I never thought of that! Let her cry. Brilliant! Besides, who is this helping? Instead of not sleeping, you get to not sleep and listen to screaming. You get to feel like Charles Manson, and as an added bonus, if you wait long enough, you get the older sister involved. What’s better than being tired and cranky and dealing with a tired and cranky kid all day? Being tired and cranky and dealing with two tired and cranky kids all day! My wife gets those days a lot more than me.
You know what you don’t want to tell someone who has a kid with sleep issues? “My kid didn’t sleep through the night until she was six.” You remember in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn, when Chekov has that eel put into his brain through his ear? Yeah, it’s a little like that.
“There will be sleeping enough in the grave” – Benjamin Franklin.
So my wife and I have learned a few things in these last 1000 days. First and foremost, we’re never getting divorced. If we can survive these last two and a half plus years, saying the things two kids in love say to each other at 3 in the morning over the screams of a wailing toddler, then we’re pretty much good to go.
Another thing? Nobody truly knows anything about getting a kid to sleep. Oh, they have theories. If you try a “technique” and that happens to be when your kid decides to start sleeping, a sleep expert is born! That happens a few times in a row, and that expert becomes a best selling author.  For us, The No Cry Sleep Solution, was no solution. The Happiest Baby on the Block, does not live at our house. Well she hangs out during the day, actually. But at night she tags out, and Bride of Chucky hops in the crib.
The thing is, we really are truly blessed. Tired and blessed. Both of our kids are great kids. Even little snooze alarm is the sweetest, happiest kid most of the time. She’s quick with a hug, and easy to laugh. She brings such joy to our lives that we couldn’t imagine life without her. Of course lack of sleep has an effect on your imagination.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one. -Leo J. Burke
Photo Credit: mmagallan
Ian is the father of two young daughters (7, and 2). He has a podcast about starting a business while raising young children at Startup Daddy.
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Great post Ian. It brings back lots of memories. I wish I could give you the solution but my recollection is very similar to what you are experiencing now. “Enjoy it” while you can… It won’t be too long before your nights are just too quiet! 😉
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Too quiet? As in more quiet than you want it to be? I have a vague understanding of what you are trying to say. Like when someone says something in a foreign language and you pick up a few words.
I appreciate the encouragement! I figure it’s just a right of passage we will have to endure. We’ll be fine.
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Great job, Ian. At 26, I have a two year old and I’m actually in the doctor’s office waiting for our last appointment before our second boy is born. The first kid had an esophagal problem and threw up about three times a day off and on for weeks at a time throughout his first year.
To every child their own methods of tormenting their parents ;).
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Thanks Brad. And Congratulations! I hope you have an easier path the second time. You’re right. Every kid has their own way of making us appreciate the simple things- like a night’s sleep or going through the day only wearing a single set of clothes.
Wishing your new son and his mom a healthy delivery.
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Great article…I remember those sleepless nights very well. However, if you and your lovely wife ever need a night to just relax, you are welcome to leave your two daughters at my house.
Your two daughters grand father.
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Thanks Morty! I’ll take you up on that 🙂
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Ian,
Excellent. Your words brought back memories of (oh my god!) over a decade. My daughter is now a senior in high school and my son is in 8th grade. But reading your piece caused the hairs on the back of my neck to tingle as I recalled the sleepless nights that my wife and I endured. And, we no sooner got through it with our daughter, when along came our son. So much for smart family planning!
But let me leave you with this thought. Once you do get to sleep through the night without child-interuptous, appreciate it. Because once they hit the teen years, there will be nights when you’ll say it’s okay for them to stay out a little later with friends — and then you’ll lie sleeplessly in your bed or sit in a chair awaiting the sound of the key in the door — not until which will you breath a relaxed breath. Or, they’ll decide that they’re not tired and go downstairs, make themselves a snack and turn on the television. There’s nothing quite like being asleep and then awakened by the sound of the microwave beeping or voices coming from downstairs — which not until you head downstairs with a baseball bat in one hand and your cell phone in the other (poised to dial ‘911’) do you realize it’s just your teenage kid being a teenage kid. And I’m not even going to get into the dog who thinks she’s a human and doesn’t understand why she has to sleep in the basement while the rest of us are upstairs. Her resentment is conveyed through her random barking at nothing.
Again, good piece, thanks.
Ed
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Good post. At least your suffering with your wife. My son is 8 and when he gets sick, I automatically know there will be no sleep until he is better. He has allergies/asthma and when combined with a cold, he has a tendency to vomit phlem and choke in his sleep
As far as sleep, he goes to bed late and wakes up early no naps, he has been that way since in uterus..lol.. only he did take naps back then. But he is a blessing and a great joy and I wouldn’t have any other way.
You two hang in there.
Angela H.
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@Ed,
You paint a great picture. Not a pretty picture mind you, but well said. I will definitely enjoy it when and if it comes, and I am sure I will experience all of those worries and them some in the coming teen years. Thanks for the glimpse into my future 🙂
@Angela,
I was raised by a single mom and my respect for all the moms and dads carrying the load alone has only grown deeper since having my own kids. You have quite the load to bear and I’m sure you wouldn’t trade it for anything. Here’s to some peace in your day!
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VERY WELL
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Thanks for the great post Ian. We have three little boys under three years old (2.5y, 1.5y and a newborn) and the oldest one still wakes up at least three times a night – that’s on a good night. So yes, I sure can relate and it’s good to know we’re not alone in this. 🙂
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Your words brought back memories of (oh my god!) over a decade. My daughter is now a senior in high school and my son is in 8th grade. But reading your piece caused the hairs on the back of my neck to tingle as I recalled the sleepless nights that my wife and I endured. And, we no sooner got through it with our daughter, when along came our son. So much for smart family planning!
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“There will be sleeping enough in the grave†– Benjamin Franklin.